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By Caroline Cheese
2148: OK I admit the Uefa Cup group stage isn't so bad after all (see 1900 GMT) - although I maintain that you shouldn't be able to qualify for the last 32 by winning one match and losing three. And apparently the Bundesliga 'owns' the Premier League (see 1900 GMT again)... Bye for now.
2146: Zilina are celebrating their win over Aston Villa like they've just won the World Cup. Their players are dancing around the centre circle in magnificent fashion.
2145: "Despite the exhilaration of the AC Milan game, we got what we deserved for our awful performances away from home. And Adams's team selection was questionable at best." Anon via text on 81111
2143: Despite that defeat, Aston Villa qualify for the last 32 - which is just as well, because their last game is a tricky-looking away tie against Martin Jol's Hamburg.
2140: FULL-TIME Aston Villa 1-2 Zilina
2138: And it's full time at Heerenveen where Braga's 2-1 win means Portsmouth go out of the Uefa Cup. Villa still pressing for an equaliser and Craig Gardner hits the post with a header. Hamburg have beaten Slavia Prague 2-1 so that means Villa will go through anyway.
2137: FULL-TIME Wolfsburg 3-2 Portsmouth
2136: Into added time at both matches. Meanwhile a word from Danny the Stat: "Pure, unadulterated drama. Vagner Love's notched in the 88th minute and put CSKA Moscow 4-3 up against Nancy. Goodness. Who was that complaining about the Uefa Cup group stages earlier...?"
2133: From bad to worse for Portsmouth. Looks like Armand Traore has picked up a hamstring injury, and Tony Adams has already made his three substitutions.
2131: Aston Villa are piling the pressure on with less then five minutes remaining. A free header from Craig Gardner flashes wide.
2129: "I get the feeling Sol Campbell will be glad for this game to be over." BBC 5 Live commentator John Southall
2128: Danny the Stat: "Take a bow Basile Camerling. He's only netted an equaliser for AS Nancy against CSKA Moscow. It's 3-3. CSKA will still win the group as it stands, and AS Nancy will qualify."
2123: RED CARD Zilina Goalscorer Vladimir Leitner - a Steve Stone lookalike - gets his marching orders for a second yellow, the defender dragging back Ashley Young.
2123: PENALTY MISS Wolfsburg 3-2 Portsmouth Classic David James. He pulls off the save from Zvjezdan Misimovic's weak penalty to keep Pompey's hopes just about alive with 10 minutes left. Sol Campbell gives away the spot-kick when - not for the first time - he is bamboozled by the trickery of Edin Dzeko and trips the striker.
2122: Penalty to Wolfsburg
2121: Nathan Delfouneso gets a fatherly hug from Martin O'Neill as his first-team debut comes to an end. Gabby Agbonlahor is on.
2120: Villa go close. First Craig Gardner's shot on the turn is saved then James Milner volleys narrowly over.
2117: GOAL Wolfsburg 3-2 Portsmouth You know when David James has one of his brain melts? It's just happened. He miscontrols the ball in the area and Zvjezdan Misimovic steals in to put the Germans ahead. Shocking error from the England keeper, and Pompey need two goals in the last 15 minutes to keep their Uefa Cup hopes alive.
2113: Villa boss Martin O'Neill doesn't fancy taking any risks. Even though his side qualify for the last 32 as it stands, Gareth Barry comes on for Moustapha Salifou, after James Milner earlier replaced Isaiah Osbourne.
2113: "It doesn't look like the message has got through to the Portsmouth players that they need to win. Both teams look happy to settle for a point. I can't understand it." BBC 5 Live analyst Steve Claridge
2112: "Zilina fans are in great voice here at Villa Park. Marlon Harewood is yet again disappointing." John via text on 81111
2110: Midfielder Arnold Mvuemba - who by all accounts has been anonymous since his deflected goal put Portsmouth ahead - is replaced by Peter Crouch.
2109: While we wait for goals, here's Danny the Stat with a little update on the state of play elsewhere in Europe: "In Group G, it's Valencia 1-1 Club Bruges and Copenhagen 0-1 Rosenborg - St Etienne are already through, but the rest of the group's up for grabs. Meanwhile, CSKA Moscow are beating AS Nancy 3-1 and will top Group H with a perfect record as it stands."
2108: Tony Adams' ears were burning. Peter Crouch is getting ready to come on.
2107: "Peter Crouch has got come on. Portsmouth are not threatening at all at the moment and they have to get a result." BBC 5 Live analyst Steve Claridge
2104: Marlon Harewood turns on the edge of the box, but sees a weak shot drift wide. Villa are pressing more in this half, but not creating an awful lot. As it stands, they're through to the last 32.
2102: News just in from Danny the Stat: "Luis Aguiar has put Braga 2-1 up at Heerenveen. That's bad news all round for Pompey, who are going out as it stands. They have to win..."
2059: The Pompey chimes ring out at the Volkswagen Arena. This game seems to have settled down after that goalfest in the first half. Wolfsburg only need to shut up shop and they are through to the last 32. Pompey need a win really.
2057: "Re 2040: No doubt Anderton will miss Saturday's game with an injury." Tim, bored at work, Cardiff, via text on 81111
2056: Oof. Niko Kranjcar lifts a lovely free-kick onto the bar for Portsmouth.
2055: What happened to the goals? Adauto's long-range shot is tipped over rather unconvincingly by Villa keeper Brad Guzan.
2050: And now Villa kick off the second half against Zilina.
2048: The game at the Volkswagen Arena has sparked into life. Portsmouth bring on Noe Pamarot for Nadir Belhadj.
2047: "Re 2040: Anderton is a Pompey legend. All the best, Shaggy." Jim in Fareham, via text on 81111
2044: "I'm as disappointed to hear the news about Roy Keane as I was when Jose Mourinho left Chelsea. He's done wonderfully well at Sunderland, and he was just at the start of his managerial career." Villa boss Martin O'Neill on Roy Keane's departure from Sunderland Keane resigns as Sunderland boss
2040: Former England winger Darren Anderton is going to retire from football after playing for Bournemouth against Chester on Saturday. Just thought you might be interested, that's all. Anderton to retire from football
2038: Danny the Stat: "Young Aston Villa pup Nathan Delfouneso has not only smashed a beautiful debut goal, he's also leading the home team Player Rater at Villa Park with a healthy 7.86. Oooh, he'll be so happy. And he's not even old enough to drink a pint in celebration! Anyway, if you want to change these scores, please vote..." Aston Villa v Zilina Player Rater
2035: "Re 2030: Forget Knight, �8.5m for Carlos Cuellar!" Anon via text on 81111
2034: HALF-TIME Aston Villa 1-2 Zilina
2034: "I didn't expect Portsmouth to be playing such attacking football after seeing their line-up. But both sides have been absolutely shocking defensively." BBC 5 Live analyst Steve Claridge
2033: HALF-TIME Wolfsburg 2-2 Portsmouth
2030: "Zat Knight is terrible. Just thought I'd share that with everyone." A hugely frustrated Villa fan (for the moment), via text on 81111
2028: Pompey keeper David James makes a superb save just as Edin Dzeko's fierce shot looks like it's arrowing in.
2027: I don't know how many fans Portsmouth have taken to Wolfsburg, but they are making a fantastic noise. It almost sounds like Fratton Park.
2025: Martin O'Neill has a bee in his bonnet. Not sure what it's about but the combustible Villa boss is expressing his disgust about something to the unsuspecting fourth official.
2022:Danny the Stat says: "Wason Renteria has only gone and scored for Braga at Heerenveen, so that game is now 1-1. That's still OK for Pompey, but they don't want Braga winning that one. Meanwhile, Ivica Olic has put Hamburg 1-0 up against Slavia Prague. If Hamburg win, Villa qualify regardless of their result tonight."
2021: "Hi Caroline. Present trends suggest Villa are heading for an eight-goal thrashing while Pompey draw 8-8. Will you cope?" Kimpton Baggie via text on 81111 I'm ready
2019: "Looks like no-one can defend today... brilliant!" Tizzle_LFC on 606 Join the debate on 606
2015: GOAL Aston Villa 1-2 Zilina Marlon Harewood chests a long ball into Nathan Delfouneso's path and the 17-year-old volleys left-footed into the corner. First start for Villa, first goal. Happy days indeed.
2013: "It's all too open at Villa Park. We've tried to overpower them early and failed miserably. Need to tighten up and frustrate these upstarts for a while." James, London, via text on 81111
2012: Danny the Stat speaketh: "Pompey fans - if you can tear yourself away from the goal frenzy for a moment, take note. Elsewhere in Group E, Gerald Sibon has put Heerenveen 1-0 up against Braga. Pompey don't want Braga to win that one."
2009: GOAL Wolfsburg 2-2 Portsmouth David James loses the flight of the ball and Christian Gentner's cross-cum-shot finds its way into the net. Not even half an hour gone.
2006: GOAL Aston Villa 0-2 Zilina That is a quite brilliant goal. Adauto lays the ball off to Peter Pekarik on the right and the cross is coolly slotted in by Peter Styvar. A devastating attack from the Slovaks.
2005: That's only the second goal Zilina have scored in the Uefa Cup group stage. Cripes. And Pompey's opponents Wolfsburg have not lost at home since April. Double cripes.
2002: GOAL Aston Villa 0-1 Zilina I love the Uefa Cup group stage! Vladimir Leitner's curling, right-footed cross from the left eludes everyone and nestles in the corner. Villa Park in shock.
2000: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-2 Portsmouth Can you Tony Adams and Eve it? Arnold Mvuemba's shot takes a wicked deflection on its way in and all of a sudden, Portsmouth are in front. There are more goals in this though. I'm sure of it.
1959: At Villa Park, Zilina keeper Dusan Pernis keeps his side on level terms with a one-handed save from Zat Knight's firm, downward header.
1957: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-1 Portsmouth It's a terrific run from Armand Traore down the left - but keeper Diego Benaglio should deal with the cross. He doesn't though and Jermain Defoe tucks in an equaliser.
1954: An early shout from Danny the Stat: "Didn't take Deportivo La Coruna long to come to this particular Uefa Cup party. Diego Colotto's put them 1-0 up against Lech Poznan inside two minutes. If they win that, they qualify."
1949: GOAL Wolfsburg 1-0 Portsmouth Oh dear. That's not a very good start is it? Edin Dzeko can't miss from six yards as the Pompey defence falls apart. As it stands, Portsmouth are out. Still if Tony Adams had been reading this live text commentary, he would have been forewarned about Dzeko (see 1932).
1948: Right, we're off at both games.
1943: Aw. The little Aston Villa mascot is wearing shorts about twenty sizes too big for him. He looks like he's been shrunk. Bless.
1939: Hurray. There's Santa at Villa Park. My first sighting of the season. In fact, there are three Santas so two must be imposters.
1937: "At Villa Park now. Atmosphere is just as good as it was on Saturday. Love it! Going for 2-0 win for Villa and 1-0 win for Portsmouth!" Sunil, excited fan at Villa, via text on 81111
1936: TEAMS Aston Villa v Zilina Aston Villa: Guzan, Gardner, Knight, Cuellar, Luke Young, Reo-Coker, Salifou, Osbourne, Ashley Young, Delfouneso, Harewood. Subs: Friedel, Laursen, Barry, Milner, Agbonlahor, Petrov, Clarke. MSK Zilina: Pernis, Pekarik, Vomacka, Sourek, Leitner, Strba, Jez, Pecalka, Piacek, Adauto, Styvar. Subs: Seman, Tesak, Karoglan, Rilke, Belak, Vladavic, Poliacek.
1932: "A chance for people to check out Wolfsburg striker Edin Dzeko, Arsenal's future striker. He's just like Bendtner, but better." bochum17 on 606 Join the debate on 606
1931: "Re 1916: I'm a Villa fan and even I see your point of view - any European competition where you play a reserve team for two of the first four games is just silly. Anyhow, lets hope for lots of goals. Harewood for a brace." Anon via text on 81111
1927: "Re 1919: The Fonz up front for Villa. Happy Days!" Colin just about to go into the Holte End, via text on 81111
1924: Wolfgang Wolf used to be the manager of Wolfsburg. His assistant was Peter Pander.
1921: Aston Villa's opponents Zilina have been renamed nine times. They are second in the Slovakian league. Their coach is Dusan Radolsky, who led Polish side Groclin Dyskobolia to victory over Manchester City in the Uefa Cup in 2003. They lost to Chelsea in the Champions League second qualifying round in 2003. There endeth the things I know about Zilina.
1919: As expected, a host of changes for Aston Villa, who only need a point from their last two games to qualify for the last 32. Eight changes to be exact. Academy striker Nathan Delfouneso is given his first start, while Nigel Reo-Coker is made captain as Martin Laursen is rested. Full line-ups to follow.
1918:Pompey boss Tony Adams names Jermain Defoe as a lone striker for their crucial trip to Wolfsburg as his England team-mate Peter Crouch drops to the bench and French midfielder Arnold Mvuemba is drafted in to bolster the midfield.
1916: "I am not sure why you think the Uefa Cup group stage is ridiculous, I am a Villa fan and loving it! Let's hope that's still the case after our game this evening! Come on you Lions!" Jamie in Bingham, via text on 81111 Why do I think it's ridiculous? Let me count the ways...
1912: If Roy Keane became manager of Nottingham Forest, BBC Sport's Jonathan Stevenson would probably just end.
1911: "There's a rumour doing the rounds that Keane is going to become the new manager at Nottingham Forest within the next week when they sack Colin Calderwood. I bet Stevo would love that!" all2-1predictor on 606 Join the debate on 606
1907: I'm sure Roy Keane is settling back to watch an evening of Uefa Cup group stage entertainment. Not really, it's just I couldn't think of another way to bring up that topic. Lazy, really. Anyhoo, I'm very keen (sorry) to hear your thoughts. I'm not at all surprised he's gone - but I am disappointed. Keane resigns as Sunderland boss
1900: I think I made my feelings clear about the Uefa Cup group stage last night. But in case you missed it: it's UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. There, I feel better now. Still, tonight we get to see which is better: Bundesliga or Premier League. Wolfsburg, eighth in Germany, host Portsmouth, eighth in England. Nice. And Aston Villa will go through tonight if they get a point against Zilina - so it's not all bad. Just mostly.
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