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By Paul Fletcher
2215: That is just about if from me. Many thanks for all your texts and 606 posts and Shay Given/Steve Harper banter.
I was hoping for a few more goals today but it is not as though we don't have much to look forward to this week, starting with Chelsea against Barcelona on Tuesday in the Champions League. Bring it on.
2209: Somebody on 606 has just suggested Newcastle's best chance of picking up points is speeding down the motorway. I think that is harsh but they are in real trouble. They have home games left against Middlesbrough and Fulham.
How big is that game Boro going to be?
From The Modern Day Buddha on 606: "I think it's safe to say Newcastle are down and out. They just can't produce the final product. Hull City can, Middlesbrough (of recently times) have managed to hit the net as well. This will be a close one, but I fear Alan Shearer will not succeed." Join the debate on 606
"From Ryan, about to head back to Portsmouth, via text on 81111: "After an agonisingly long journey up here, I will happily take the point!"
2204: Some Player Rater chat for you. The highest rated at full-time was Alan Smith with 6.37. You can do something about that if you don't agree. Personally, I thought Steve Harper did pretty well. Rate the players
2201: Newcastle lacked attacking threat this evening but there was nothing wrong with the performance of Steve Harper - note, Steve Harper - who made a cracking save to deny Nadir Belhadj.
2200: Newcastle have yet to win at home in 2009 and are next on action at Liverpool on Sunday. Doesn't get easier does it.
A cracking point for Pompey though. They won't be going down.
From BBC Radio 5 Live's Steve Stone: "Newcastle probably need to do better than that. The worrying thing for Alan Shearer is that his team really tired with half an hour to go."
2158: Full-time Newcastle 0-0 Portsmouth
2158: The free-kick is half-cleared and Fabio Coloccini smashes the rebound over at the far stick.
2157: Newcastle win a free-kick in a wide position.
2156: David James comes for a cross, drops it, collects at the second attempt.
2156: Pompey win a corner but hardly show much ambition. That said, space opens up for Glen Johnson but he once again drags his effort wide.
2155: Into injury-time at St James' Park. Sorry, I just don't see a goal coming.
From Zippy, George and Bungle on 606: "This really is poor from Newcastle. I haven't seen a performance this bad since my girlfriend tried to explain the new dent in my car. Sir Anthony Hopkins, she is not." Join the debate on 606
2152: If this stays at 0-0 then Newcastle will move up to third from bottom, ahead of Middlesbrough on goal difference.
2151: Tick tock, tick tock. There are just a few minutes left. Any goal now would definitely qualify as late drama. Newcastle look tired, out on their feet.
2149: I have to say - and yes, potentially famous last words - that Newcastle do not look like scoring.
Steve Harper is in goal for Newcastle, by the way.
2146: Oh, so close for Richard Hughes, who heads Jermaine Pennant's corner against the post with Steve Harper - note, not Shay Given - stranded.
2145: The clock is ticking down at St James' Park. Fairly even at the moment as Pompey win a corner.
2143: Cracking chance for Peter Crouch as the match suddenly opens up but he doesn't make a clean contact and Steve Harper - note, Steve Harper - saves.
2142: Andy Carroll heads over for Newcastle. Pompey attack but then Newcastle break, with Jonas Gutierrez playing Obafemi Martins through. The striker goes down just outside the area and the referee says no foul.
2140: Glen Johnson is booked for time wasting, with 15 minutes left.
2139: Reading have defeated Norwich 2-0. That means Forest and Plymouth are safe. it also means Norwich are in massive trouble. It is between them and Barnsley as they battle to avoid third from bottom.
2138: BTW, the break started with a terrible pass from Andy Carroll.
2137: A blistering break from Nadir Belhadj, who really is incredibly quick. His shot forces a brilliant save from Steve Harper.
2136: Alan Shearer plays his final card, Nicky Butt making way for Jonas Gutierrez.
2135: Teasing run from Glen Johnson, who somewhat wastes his effort by dragging his shot wide.
2134: This is Newcastle's 16th successive season in the Premier League. If they want to make that 17 I would recommend scoring soon.
2132: 47,481 inside St James' Park tonight to witness Peter Crouch miss the goal by an impressively considerable distance.
2130: David Nugent gives way to Jermaine Pennant as Pompey make a change.
Anonymous via text on 81111: "Fletch, do you ever get abusive texts? If so, ignore. You and your colleagues do a great job for us."
Yes - and thanks. Lots are unprintable. On here anyway.
2128: Mark Viduka makes way for Andy Carroll. Can the local lad become a hero?
2126: Dear, dear me. Mark Viduka slips Michael Owen clean through. The striker is 14 yards from goal but his effort is weak and far too close to David James, who saves. Hands on head time for the Geordie fans.
2125: David James spills a regulation cross from Damien Duff and is very, very, very, very lucky to escape without conceding. Mark Viduka is lurking but cannot quite make the vital contact.
From BBC Radio 5 Live's Steve Stone: "Alan Shearer has got to have a look at this and think about how can he change it. He needs somebody to deliver some quality into the Portsmouth box."
(See 2100) From Tanman, again, via text on 81111: "I used to eat lots of tangerines when I was little. We thought the nickname was good when we were little and it's just stuck around. A bit like Shola Ameobi."
2122: It is Newcastle's turn to appeal for a penalty, once again there is nothing doing, much to the disgust and frustration of Damien Duff.
2121: Shane Long scores his second header of the night. It is now Norwich 0-2 Reading.
2121: Newcastle on the ropes at the moment, with Hayden Mullins shooting wide.
2120: Oh dear. Peter Crouch lays the ball off to Sean Davis, who tries to smash it out of the stadium, so wide is his effort.
2118: A long ball over the top appears to have put Obafemi Martins through on goal but David James is very quick off his line and manages to bundle the ball clear before the striker can pounce.
2117: A quiet passage of play, Newcastle enjoying a spell of possession but not in a threatening area. Newcastle are very narrow.
2114: Peter Crouch dribbles into the Newcastle box and goes down under a challenge from Fabio Coloccini. A massive penalty appeal is turned down.
I got hammered on Saturday for certain comments relating to a penalty at Old Trafford. In this case, I think Newcastle are fortunate not to have been penalised.
2113: Shane Long has headed Reading into the lead at Carrow Road. If it stays like that the Royals will still have a chance of automatic promotion.Not good for Norwich though.
2110: A neat backheel from Michael Owen creates an opening for Mark Viduka but the Australian's shot is disappointing and David James saves. A good opportunity wasted.
2109: Play has resumed at St James' Park.
2109: Dave Kitson goes close for Reading but still no goals in that one.
2108: The Top Chanter is also on the pitch as well, cranking up the atmosphere.
2106: The players are out for the second-half at Newcastle.
2103: My half-time cup of tea has just arrived, which is massively welcome. I'll try not to knock this one all over my keyboard.
I imagine Paul Hart is not all that upset with the way the first half panned out. Newcastle showed in glimpses what Alan Shearer will have been looking for. Should be a cracking 45 minutes. Hopefully anyway.
2100: Time for some Player Rater chat. Peter Crouch is out on top at the break with 6.81. Not sure I agree with that but don't forget you can do something about it. Rate the players
From Tanman at St James' Park via text on 8111: "I climbed out of the window in after-school detention to get here. With this atmosphere and a win any punishment will be worth it. But if we lose I won't smile for a year."
I cannot condone that sort of behaviour. Honest. Is there a good story behind your nickname?
From Mark in Huddersfield via text on 81111: "Did Fletch once do a text service for Italian football due to the lack of goals there too?"
Che?
2053: Play has resumed at Carrow Road. Still waiting for a goal there as well.
2052: Half-time Newcastle 0-0 Portsmouth
2051: A tigerish tackle from Nicky Butt clears the danger as the clock ticks down to the break.
2050: Another corner for Pompey. Whisper this quietly but the last 15 minutes have been fairly entertaining.
2048: Best chance by far. Pompey don't clear the danger and the ball drops to Obafemi Martins, who smashes it over from eight yards. Mike Riley awards a corner, for some reason.
2046: Newcastle want a foul for a challenge on Nicky Butt by Sean Davis. Pompey don't wait around for a decision and push on winning a corner while Newcastle's players all put their hands in the air like some synchronised aerobics. Steve Harper punches the ball clear.
2044: Another corner for Newcastle. Ref Mike Riley penalises Mark Viduka for leaning on a Pompey defender. Nonetheless Newcastle are finally mounting some pressure, giving their fans something to get at least a little excited about.
2043: This is better, much better. A cross into the Pompey box is headed over the bar by Mark Viduka. Finally some service to the Toon strikers.
2042: Newcastle win a corner that is half cleared. Damien Duff shoots at goal with his right foot and David James saves.
2038: Cracking strike from Alan Smith, plenty of power on the half-volley but it flies over the crossbar.
2037: A shot from Sean Davis takes a slight deflection and Steve Harper tips the ball over for a corner that Newcastle manage to clear.
Butt returns to the action.
2036: Nicky Butt lands awkwardly. Newcastle could do without losing him.
2035: The decibel level increases markedly. Mark Viduka tries to control Danny Guthrie's shot. The Australian is in space six yards from goal but the ball runs away from him and is eventually put out for a corner.
2034: Drama, finally. Alan Smith smashes the ball goalwards and strikes Hermann Hreidarsson. Penalty appeal, quite correctly turned down.
2033: Half-time at Carrow Road and no goals to tell you about.
2031: Enrique hobbles off looking massively disappointed, as well he might, and Danny Guthrie comes on.
Damien Duff drops back to left-back.
2030: Newcastle are finding themselves outnumbered in midfield. The Magpies front three have not had much service/impact.
Oops. Trouble for Jose Enrique, who looks to have pulled a hamstring.
2028: Pompey have soaked up pressure for 20 or so minutes and are now impressing themselves on the match a little bit more.
This match could do with some high quality action.
2026: Pompey knocking the ball around nicely. A cacophony of boos and whistle accompanies this from the home fans.
2024: Bassong is booked for pulling back Glen Johnson. Pompey are starting to look a little bit threatening.
2023: The ball comes over to Peter Crouch but he is forced wide and does not have the chance to shoot. The striker tries to pick out a team-mate but the ball is put out for a corner. Newcastle clear the danger.
From Big Phil, Pompey fan in the minority in St James' Park, via text on 81111: "Not sure if anyone's mentioned this yet, but the Newcastle fans are really, really, really loud."
2021: A looping header from Michael Owen, who is under pressure, and David James comfortably collects. No real drama so far.
2019: Plenty of Pompey players stood over the ball. Pompey make a bit of a mess of it but Glen Johnson eventually shoots tamely at goal, Peter Crouch tries to get on the end of it but the ball is bundled out for a corner before he can reach it.
2018: Pompey have a foul in a dangerous area after a foul by Fabio Coloccini on David Nugent.
2014: Glen Johnson makes a superbly-timed tackle to dispossess Obafemi Martins. It had to be as well or it would have been a penalty.
2014: Still goalless at Carrow Road.
David Nugent has had a few early touches for Pompey but Steve Harper has been largely a spectator so far.
2012: Newcastle look to push forward but Sebastien Bassong's through ball is far too strong and runs out of play. Frustrating.
Pompey have a defensive look about them and appear to be inviting pressure.
2009: Sir Bobby Robson and Paul Gascoigne are in the crowd this evening.
Newcastle are flying into tackles and if their early commitment translates into goals they should be OK.
2007: Newcastle trying to force the pace early on. Mark Viduka harries Sylvain Distin and wins a throw in an attacking position but Pompey clear the danger.
2005: Plenty of paper aeroplanes flying around the ground. All to do with the various free hand outs that have been appropriated for other uses, apparently.
2004: Pompey won this fixture 4-1 last season. Hmm.
2003: And the match begins. Will the climb up the table start for Newcastle? We'll find out soon enough.
1958: Top Chanter - still singing. The teams are out. Alan Shearer - black blazer, thin black tie, white shirt, chewing gum in big trouble. It won't be lasting much longer.
1958: Reading on top at Carrow Road but no goals so far.
1957: A man with 'Top Chanter' written on his back is banging out tune after tune. The club have handed out 20,000 black and white flags. The mint balls will be next.
1955: Sounds like a cracking atmosphere inside the ground at Newcastle. The locals are up for this one in a big way.
Newcastle United goalkeeper Steve Harper: "It's a must-win. We need every ounce of support."
From Niall, Belfast, via text on 81111: "Since when did this live text turn into a Newcastle bashathon. But regardless any hope I had is now gone with that awful midfield. What are you doing man. You have Guthrie, Barton and Jonas on the bench."
Niall, no deliberate intent to bash Newcastle, though you do seem to be doing a little of that yourself.
1943: Not long now until the match starts. The players are just finishing off their warm-up routines and thousands of Geordies are convincing themselves that, to borrow from Neil Young, tonight's the night.
From Jack on 606: "There have been too many poor teams in the Premier League this season. The bottom five teams should be relegated instead of just three." Join the debate on 606
Hmm, why don't you suggest that to the supporters of all the struggling teams. Perhaps late on a Saturday night when they've had a few.
1935: Newcastle v Portsmouth team news Newcastle boss Alan Shearer has gone for broke, making five changes to the side that lost 1-0 to Tottenham.
Out go Ryan Taylor, Steven Taylor, Kevin Nolan, Jonas Gutierrez and Andy Carroll.
In come Fabio Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Alan Smith, Mark Viduka and Obafemi Martins.
Portsmouth are unchanged from the team that lost at Manchester United.
1933: Alan Shearer as Newcastle manager. P3 W0 D1 L2.
1930: I know a Newcastle supporter, spoke to him this afternoon and he was absolutely certain that his team would win tonight. Not one iota of doubt in his mind. Is this how one sets oneself up for crushing disappointment? Like a small kid who convinces himself he is getting the latest games console for Christmas only to end up with some kind of practical educational tool.
From anonymous via text on 81111: "Hull, Boro and Newcastle will go down. West Brom will win their remaining games finishing on 40 points."
Have you been drinking Mr Anonymous?
1928: Norwich v Reading. If Norwich lose they are in massive trouble with one game left. If they went down they would join Southampton and Charlton in League One next season. That is three big clubs dropping down a division, no question.
From Patrick via text on 81111: "Hi Paul. Pompey fan here just heading to the game now. There's all this chat about us not losing many - yes but we keep drawing and that's the most we are going to get tonight. We aren't playing good football and when your best striker you have is Kanu you know you have a problem."
1920: Some potentially bad news for Newcastle supporters. Their club are on their longest winless streak this season - eight games.
Yet, since Paul Hart took charge at Portsmouth the club have tasted defeat in just two of nine games.
I'd like at this juncture to give a big shout out to all the Pompey fans who have made the trek north for a Monday evening fixture. The 341 miles between the two clubs is the longest in the Premier League.
I wonder how many of them will be at St James' Park tonight?
From jazza0707 on 606: "Newcastle will win tonight and beat Boro at home. Boro and Hull will both loose all of their remaining fixtures and both will drop into the Championship.
"How can nobody else see that Newcastle have by far the easiest set of fixtures out of these three clubs?" Join the debate on 606
Will they, won't they. Not since the drama over whether Scott and Charlene would tie the knot have I been so gripped. If Newcastle were to go down I'm not sure I could stomach all the articles that would follow about how big a club the Magpies are and how their fans don't deserve this. They probably don't - but what fans do?
1912: Now don't forget that if you're out and about later, you can still follow this text commentary and get all the scores on your mobile. From a UK phone, just text FOOTBALL to 81010, it will cost you 10 to 15p and you will receive in return a link to our mobile site. Click on that, and you'll be straight through (then bookmark it so you never need to text that number again). The cost of being online on your phone will vary according to network and your own contract.
From Frankland, Sheffield, via text on 81111: "One saving grace for the Toon is their goal difference. A win tonight would see them with a better difference than the four teams above them. In recent years it has been crucial."
From BBC Sport's Ian Dennis: "I understand that Michael Owen, Mark Viduka and Obefemi Martins will all start. Three up front in a gamble for three points."
1906: There is a big fixture in the Championship tonight - one that will have an impact at both ends of the table.
Reading can keep alive their hopes of automatic promotion with victory at Norwich, who are also desperate for a win to lift themselves out of the bottom three.
I'll endeavour to keep you updated of the score in that one.
From JaapStamsKahunas on 606: "I think Newcastle will beat Pompey tonight, who were awful at Old Trafford last Wednesday, but are still doomed.
"Owen is their one shining beacon of chance, and he's hardly firing all cylinders.
From BuffonIdol on 606: "Sorry but Newcastle will struggle to win this game. Portsmouth have actually put in some OK performances of late and Shearer had totally failed to galvanise his team like so many new managers do. It's not his fault as the burden was too big, as is always the case at Newcastle." Join the debate on 606
That, BuffonIdol, is definitely a point of view. And not one that I expect many Newcastle fans to share.
1856: Lets start with a few crumbs of comfort for Newcastle supporters. The reverse fixture earlier in the season provided Toon fans with one of their two victories away from home in the Premier League this season.
Michael Owen, Obafemi Martins and Danny Guthrie found the net in a 3-0 win.
1850 BST: They don't come any bigger than this - at least not according to Alan Shearer, who reckons tonight's game is one of the most important of his Newcastle career.
Big Al could most definitely do with a win. He hasn't had one yet as Newcastle boss and with his team in the bottom three you can easily see his point.
Even Ant and Dec have been voicing their concern.
Portsmouth haven't had a smooth ride this season either, with more than a little managerial turbulence of their own.
But Pompey go into this fixture six points clear of the bottom three.
What the Magpies fans wouldn't give for the luxurious comfort of those heady heights.
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