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By Chris Whyatt
2212: Hammers boss Zola and guest of honour Di Canio will no doubt be conducting some fabulously animated conversations in the bar once the players have showered and dabbed cologne over their designer stubble. Spurs looked very business-like tonight while West Ham looked very short of creative inspiration and zest in midfield.
That's all from me for now folks. Thanks for all your contributions, I'll leave you with a couple which sum up the evening's work:
"Spurs were poor first half but we stepped it up second-half and West Ham couldn't live with us. Up that Premier League we go." Stoney from Ware on 81111
"One of the worst performances by the Irons this season. No movement, quality or motivation. Sort it out!" From Rich, West Ham fan in Basildon, on 81111
2204: "Best we've played all season"... "very resolute"... "a must-win game"... "still in a relegation battle". That's the refreshing verdict of Spurs centre-back Jonathan Woodgate. Tottenham have certainly been more entertaining since Harry Redknapp took over but I'm not sure they've been as tough. That's what fans want to see, no?
2202: "Carlton Cole is a joke. He would struggle to get in my local pub team. Over paid & over rated. He's just not good enough & the Hammers deserve better." anonymous on 81111
"Surely now O'Hara has to start? If he can finish like that and has a natural left foot, he has to start against Man Utd." Good Ol' Loyle Doyle on 606
2156: FULL-TIME West Ham 0-2 Tottenham Harry Redknapp's fourth win on the bounce at Upton Park against his former employers sees Spurs leapfrog West Ham into 15th place. The revival continues as they go above 16th-placed West Ham on goal difference. Boos ring out in E13. Mini-crisis for Zola or a minor blip?
2153: GOAL West Ham 0-2 Tottenham West Ham should have made it 1-1 but Spurs launch a breakaway and substitute Jamie O'Hara wallops a brilliantly fashioned left-foot shot past Hammers keeper Rob Green from 20 yards with the hosts defence all at sea. Game over.
2151: Noble floats it in but captain King heads out for a corner which then sees pinball in the Spurs box. Gomes is the hero! Can you believe it. He saves Di Michele's shot from from three yards after blocking Neill's fierce volley. Incredible.
2149: Canny Spurs are keeping possession. No rush for them here and the corner-flags beckon. Serious lack of desperation from West Ham but they can't just clatter into tackles. The crowd has been relatively silenced. Behrami's wins a free-kick from 40 yards out though to raise some heckles...
2146: Remember former Deportivo La Coruna hitman Diego Tristan? He's on now (replacing Scott Parker) for his first action in a West Ham shirt. Used to be a great player in the Champions League and Spain's Primera Liga that guy. What a time to make an impression on 30,000-odd east Londoners of claret-and-blue persuasion.
2142: Nearly 78 minutes gone in this London derby and we have our first booking. Valon Behrami sees yellow for unfairly hacking down Didier Zokora. Lennon winces in mock pain after firing over when presented with a half-decent chance. West Ham really need to unearth some late bite and inspiration here...
2138: From which David Di Michele, on for Hayden Mullins, traps the ball just yards from Gomes' goal but elects not to shoot from point-blank range. He searches for alternative options, but the chance is gone.
2135: Bent tests Green with a snap-shot from the edge of the box. West Ham are hanging on for dear life. They need Bellamy to start scowling again. On cue, his floated cross is nearly met by Carlton Cole but Assou-Ekotto heads behind for a corner...
2131: GOAL West Ham 0-1 Tottenham Textbook headed finish from rampaging centre-back Ledley King as he heads down into the ground and up into the net past Green from 10 yards following Aaron Lennon's superb cross from the right wing. Great leap: evocative of a pinky-coloured fish.
2130: Patrick Viera-like stomp through the heart of West Ham's defence sees Didier Zokora - who has never scored for Spurs - test Green with an aggressive drive from 18 yards.
2128: Spurs press again as Bentley is set free down the left but his woeful cross-shot is too close to the appreciative Rob Green (who stops short of actually thanking the England winger for his generosity). All about the visitors though right now.
2125: Noble replaces Julien Faubert as occasional unstoppable goal machine Darren Bent fluffs a decent chance following Lennon's low cut-back. He didn't make a proper connection with his right foot from 12 yards and sharp approach play involving Jenas comes to nothing.
2122: Amid all that nonsense, Spurs turn the screw. Lennon breaks clear on a counter but West Ham race back to regroup.
2120: Someone get Ilunga a 'Guide to the Rules of Association Football' manual for Christmas. Please. Just like he did at Anfield last Monday, he raises his arms to block a cross in the box. How many times. Incredible. I'm not joking. Nothing given. Astonishing.
2117: Harry's hauled off Pavlyuchenko to replace the Russian striker with occasional unstoppable goal machine Darren Bent. Mark Noble is getting changed for the Hammers...
2115: Hayden Mullins kicks up his leg to flick a pass off his studs over the Spurs defence but they successfully trap Bellamy offside as he races towards Gomes. A dangerous game to keep playing that, though. Bentley, now playing on the left wing, goes off exploring with the ball.
2112: Gomes could have caught that Bellamy free-kick with his eyes shut, but... do I need to write the rest? He chose to clench those fists and punch, this time, successfully away from danger. Bellamy then drags a low shot wide. Target son.
West Ham legend Paolo Di Canio is in the crowd tonight, cheering on his Italian compatriot Zola one assumes.
2108: Spurs get the second half under way... wonder what wise words of inspiration Harry has bestowed upon his new charges?
2106: "Monday night football should go! What's happened to the beauty of games being played on a saturday, kicking off at 3pm?!" liverpoollad_04 on 606
"I remember back in the day the Monday Night Game used to be the highlight the Premier League calendar for me. It used to be a high-tempo affair with lots of quality football on show. Maybe now there's just too much football being played." ZG&B on 606
2102: Okay, Olympic medallist Chris Hoy is not refereeing this match. I was just keeping you on your toes. Well noticed team. Elsewhere, someone's been mixing with the stars...
"I can tell you Fabio [Capello] is not watching. He was on the same flight to Cape Town as me yesterday morning, clearly being optimistic and planning for 2010," claims an anonymous 81111 texter.
2057: Another Monday night match and again we are debating the quality on show, i.e. many of you bemoaning its absence.
Wigan boss Steve Bruce briefly touched on this a couple of weeks after his side beat Everton as the world returned to work... anybody got a decent theory on how waiting all weekend to play on Monday night negatively affects the players?
2054: Time for a half-time cuppa? Bit of player rater chat from Danny the Stat while the kettle boils:
"Aaron Lennon is the only man to "break the seven" (it'll catch on), with his lively running notching him an impressive 7.09. Interestingly, Matthew Upson has "matched the seven" (that probably won't catch on), with a seven-equalling score of, er, 7.00.
2049: HALF-TIME West Ham 0-0 Tottenham Peep peep. Referee Chris Foy calls an end to the first half. West Ham more impressive, but Spurs had ther better chances. Incisive comment from kristianowall on 606.
"If nobody scores then this game will almost certainly end in a draw."
2046: Are you watching Fabio? Lennon again causes havoc down the right to skid in a trademark low cross which Pavlyuchenko, arriving at full stretch at the back post, can only crash off an upright with the outside of his right boot. So close.
2042: Lennon moves over to the right wing - and what do you know? His deep cross is accidently headed by Lucas Neill into the path of David Bentley and he forces a great instinctive stop from Rob Green, the West Ham keeper pushing a vicious half-volley around his post. Best Spurs pressure yet now... still wasteful in possession though.
2038: Pacy Craig Bellamy is in one of those belligerent moods, testing and teasing Spurs in that Bermuda Triangle-like gap between midfield and defence. Fires off one shot without being closed down properly before going even closer with another decent effort.
2035: West Ham are marginally on top. More possession. Scott Parker is busy. Spurs looking anaemic. Modric has seen little of the ball since that early chance.
2032: Free-kick to West Ham from a tasty position... Bellamy lays off for Welsh buddy James Collins to drive a powerful low shot towards Gomes. The ball is hacked away for a corner (which comes to nought) before the big Brazilian has to deal with it.
Elmer Fudd! Of course I knew that, was just kinda busy.
2029: Pleased to report that West Ham left-back Ilunga is actually kicking, rather than repeatedly handling, the ball tonight. Those of you who watched the Liverpool match last week will probably remember thinking he was trying out for the Chicago Bulls. Teeming down with rain in east London.
2026: Half-hearted roars from the Hammers faithful as the ball flies awkwardly past Gomes into the goal off Jermaine Jenas. But Lucas Neill was all over the Spurs midfielder and the referee rightly blows, in plenty of time, for a foul.
2023: "Scrappy? This game is like one of those cartoon fights where you just see legs and arms flying in a whirlwind." Zippy, George and Bungle on 606
Bugs Bunny and his nemesis of many guises? Can't remember his name. West Ham win a corner but it comes to nothing. Bentley tamely heads a Pavlyuchenko cross into Green's arms. Think they need to swap places.
2018: Comical cross from David Bentley as the ball looks like it will never return to Planet Earth. The ex-Blackburn winger acknowledges it with a wry smile. Both teams starting to pass the ball.
2014: Behrami smuggles a ball through for Craig Bellamy but West Ham's diminutive Welsh striker is flagged offside before scooping the ball sullenly over the bar. Tad scrappy but both sets of fans in fine voice.
2012: No clean sheet for Spurs away from home this season. Defensive colossus Ledley King could have a big say in banishing that unwanted stat on his 250th start for the club. West Ham are seeing most of the ball though...
2008: Handbags from Didier Zokora and Craig Bellamy as they fight for possession of superior macho status. Feisty already this.
2006: Modric... should have scored! Great chance. Aaron Lennon jinks down the LEFT(?) wing and cuts back for David Bentley to neatly lay a pass for the Croatian but, with West Ham's defence caught cold, he shoots weakly into Rob Green's arms from 10 yards.
2004: Rowdy atmosphere in east London as fans pile in to the ground from Green Street... and West Ham get us underway attacking the Bobby Moore Stand.
1959: Zola vs Redknapp? Should be an entertaining match tonight, plenty of free-flowing football... if we adhere to the stereotypes of each club's style. To be fair, Spurs have been great to watch in patches since 'Arry took over from Ramos. Classy individuals like Modric, Bentley et al playing with real freedom of expression.
And hats off to West Ham. Brilliant defensive performance to come away from Anfield with a point this time last week and I'm positive they will be much more, erm, positive tonight in front of their home fans. Close to kick-off now...
"Still no Fred Sears! What is Zola doing! Collison to score the winner in a 1-0 win," anonymous on 81111
1954: "Pretty important game for both sides this; West Ham badly need a win in front of their own fans though, and I think they'll get it.
"It won't be pretty, and I can't see many goals. 1-0 Hammers, Bellamy scoring." bochum17 on 606
1948: It's a rare juxtaposition but with Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire" blaring out of Upton Park's PA system, Harry Redknapp provokes an interesting talking point on BBC Radio 5 Live.
"This is going to be the tightest Premier League in history," chirrups the Spurs boss. "One or two clubs will go down who nobody expects to, and we've got to make sure it's not us."
Why not discuss that - and anything else in relation to tonight's match on 606? Or float me a text over on 81111. Quality. West Ham v Tottenham - 606
1940: Guess who's here in the 'director of football' role tonight? Danny the Stat. But he's earning his crust, don't you worry. This is his dissection of those teams:
"So Harry Redknapp makes two changes from the Spurs side beaten at home by Everton in their last Premier League match, bringing in Luka Modric and Jermaine Jenas for Darren Bent and Tom Huddlestone, who both drop to the bench.
"West Ham are unchanged from the side that drew 0-0 at Anfield last Monday. Injured midfielder Lee Bowyer misses out."
1935: You know the drill: no messing about when it comes to the teamsheets. Oi! No pushing at the front. Here you go:
1930: Hello again Monday Club. Alchemist 'Arry leads his upwardly-mobile Spurs on the short hop from N17 to E13 for this evening's richly-anticipated London derby against Gianfranco's Hammers.
Surely the chirpy cockney ex-West Ham boss will stroll into the Boleyn Ground to a respectful chorus of misty-eyed appreciation?
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