England v South Africa, Second Test, Saturday 2 August 2003 Lord's, London

The Saturday of a Lord's Test is a good place to star gaze, and as well as bringing your score book, it's always a good idea to bring the autograph book.

As well as an array of former cricketers, the likes of Sir Bobby Robson, MCC president Sir Tim Rice, Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes were all in the stands

And with England's cricket going from awful to absolutely dire, Jonathan Agnew's mind wandered to the night he shared Nicole Kidman's bed.

"You what?" spluttered Allan Donald as a stunned silence befell the box.

"I slept in Nicole Kidman's bed although she wasn't there at the time," Aggers explained.

"It was a remote place in Southern Australia where she filmed an advert in the Flinders Range.

"It was a nice smart hotel where I was shown to the Kidman boudoir. She had checked out two years before."

Dickie Bird is at Lord's - and doesn't everybody know it.

The former umpire was happy to tell all and sundry in and around the commentary box about his journey to London.

Dickie arrived at Wakefield station to catch his train at before five o'clock, forgetting it was a weekend.

The gates were locked and there was no one in sight, apart from Dickie rattling around on his own.

"It's a typical story of Dickie and confirms the man is mad," was Jonathan Agnew's verdict.

With azzure skies and temperatures soaring, Angus Fraser is happy to be looking down on proceedings at his old stomping ground from the Media Centre.

Bowlers like it grey and green. A hot sun and a hard track are the thing of nightmares for the pacemen.

"The Test already feels four days old, certainly for the England bowlers," Gus commented.

"All the bowlers can do on a day like this is sit back and lengthen the South Africa innings so it gives you less time to bat."

And Gus knows what the bowlers are going through, having run in relentlessly in Antigua when Brian Lara scored his world record 375.

"It was just a sensible innings that went at an even tempo all the way through. Only when he was 30 or so away did you think he's on here," he added.

"What I do remember is that the outfield at St John's had just been re-laid and was an inch or so long. That slowed the ball up and he should have got 500 for his efforts."

The man handing out most of the punishment is South African skipper Graeme Smith.

Records were there to be had, but he also knew there was a match to win.

"He knows South Africa comes first and personal targets come second," Allan Donald explained of Smith.

"For the good of the team he doesn't want to bat too long and the first thing in his mind will be the team.

"But he's in the most unbelievable form and I hope he keeps surfing that wave and doesn't get off the surfboard."

Sometime in the winter it will hit me when I'm walking along the beach and I'll just start trembling Graeme Smith Fraser: Smith 'has weaknesses'

Henry Blofeld described Smith's innings as a "constant source of statistical amusement", but try telling Bill Frindall that as he frantically leafs through his tomes of records.

Smith resumed on 214 having become the fourth batsman to score double-centuries in successive Tests.

And he continued to tick off the list of landmarks:

• 222 - passes Herbie Taylor on the all-time list of South African run-scorers in a series
• 235 - passes Bruce Mitchell's tally of runs in a series against England
• 241 - a four brings up 600 runs in the series (603)
• 246 - passes Eddie Barlow on the list of SA run scorers in a series
• 250 - third player after Don Bradman and Graham Gooch to score 250 at Lord's. 350 balls; 33 fours; nine hours and six minutes
• 255 - record score for an overseas player at Lord's
• 259 - equals Dudley Nourse's record of 621 runs in a series against England.

After 575 minutes at the crease, Smith was out for 259 having played on against James Anderson.

In total he faced 370 balls and hit 34 fours in compiling the second highest Test innings at Lord's.

The second round of the TMS Tea Ladies competition had commentators and summarisers from all over the Media Centre invading the box.

TMS TEA LADIES: HOW TO ENTER By e-mail: tmstealadies@npower.com By post: TMS Tea Ladies, Sports Impact, 31 Homefield Road, London SW19 4QF

But despite a table groaning under the weight of Jenny Presland and Kim Dangerfield's teas, Mike Atherton had difficulty getting his hands on any food.

"I'm not a big eater," Athers conceded, "but I haven't been able to have much because I've got Mike Gatting one side and Ian Smith the other."

Gatt is the taster in chief on these occasions and was impressed by yet another "nice spread" following the first round at Edgbaston.

"It's marvellously sticky," Henry Blofeld said of Kim's chocolate cake. "Absolutely sumptuous and I'll be licking chocolate off my fingers for the rest of the afternoon."

Vic Marks didn't quite match Henry's erudite description when asked about Jenny's Walnut and Coffee cake.

"It's got coffee and walnuts in. It's fantastic," he said.

Although not quite good enough for the rest of the box, with Kim and her chocolate cake winning the vote.