CB Fry in the TMS inbox: "How's this? My grandfather, Ernie Bale, played for London Counties with WG. Ernie also played with Frank, his son and my father, Frank Bale at Mitcham and Wallington CC, and I played with my father at Wallington CC. So from me in Portland, Oregon, where I have to travel 150 miles to play in Seattle, Washington, to play, it's just three steps to 'The Doctor'. Bye."

1757 - 112-2 "A good stats day," says Malcolm Ashton, the TMS stat-man. Five ducks in an innings is the most in Test at Edgbaston; with an eye on Jonathan Trott, no Warwickshire batsman has ever scored a century in a Test at Edgbaston, and that includes foreign players, such as Brian Lara. And on that bombshell, covers are being dragged on and play has been called off - thanks for all the chatter as usual, I doubt I'll be seeing you on Monday...

CB Fry in the TMS inbox: "Nice try, Ian Wilson, but Rhodes didn't overlap with Hutton, let alone play in the same Test team - Rhodes's last Test was 1930, when Hutton was 14."

1748 - 112-2 Have a sit down Shep - England move to 112 courtesy of a thick inside-edge for one. All of a sudden the umpires confer and everyone's off - bad light, and if they don't get back out by 1812 BST, that's that for the day...

1746 - 111-2 The light just hanging on in Birmingham, we should get a 1830 BST finish. Bit of away-swing for Amin, but it's very leisurely, almost Graham Gooch pace. He slides down leg-side and Trott picks it off, helping it on its way for four. We have Nelson - 111 - and dear old Shep will be standing on one leg up in heaven.

1741 - 106-2 Trott with a punch into the on-side for one and England lead by 33. Amir is the bowler now and Pietersen plays a wristy stroke, manoeuvring the ball to square-leg for another single. Time for Umar Amin and his medium dobblies...

1737 - 104-2 Ajmal drags one down and that should have gone for runs, but Trott seemed rather surprised by it and missed out. There's the England ton, though, courtesy of a clip to mid-wicket from Trott before Pietersen uses up another life - his third? - cutting a ball that's too close to him and neither the keeper or the slip going for the ball.

Ian Wilson in the TMS inbox: "OK, I've done Grace to now in six steps, and they all played together in Test matches. Grace played with Wilfred Rhodes played with Len Hutton played with Colin Cowdrey played with Chris Old played with Graham Gooch played with Mark Ramprakash. Grace's last Test was Rhodes' first. Ramps is still playing and was talked about last year to be brought into the Oval Test against the Aussies so he is still a (resting) Test player."

1733 - 99-2 Gul gets one to jag back at Pietersen but it flies through high over the timbers as the batsman shoulders arms. KP looks to be finding his feet now, playing some pretty expansive strokes, even when they're not scoring. No-ball from Gul and Pietersen turns it down the long-leg to turn it into three.

1728 - 96-2 Too short from Ajmal and Trott jumps back and chops him for one. That's a classy stroke from Pietersen, a deft late cut for four...

1724 - 88-2 Tremendous stuff Michael (see below), absolutely tremendous. Two for Trott with a skewed drive through the gully region before the Warwickshire man adds one more to the total with a nurdle off his pads. Pietersen gets some chin music from Gul but ducks underneath it.

Michael Fay in the TMS inbox: "In a 1993 county game Mark Ramprakash played for Middlesex against a Notts side featuring Derek Randall. Randall played for Notts in Micky Stewart's last match in 1972. Stewart similarly played in Eric Hollies last match in 1957 (Surrey v Warwickshire). In the same fixture in 1934, both Hollies and Jack Hobbes played. A young Jack Hobbs faced up against WG Grace in the 1908 Surrey v Gentlemen of England match. Ramprakash-Randall-Stewart-Hollies-Hobbes-Grace."

1717 - 84-2 Lordy, this is a little bit depressing to be honest - Pietersen drives, the bat coming down diagonally, but wicketkeeper Haider is unable to take the catch. KP getting a bit of a going over from Gul here, and it doesn't take an expert to see that Pietersen has serious technical problems - another drive and again the ball nips back and goes straight through the gate. Always tough off the inside edge, but it hit his wrist. Well done John in Taunton (see below), but it doesn't have to be Test cricket.

John in Taunton in the TMS inbox: "England Test players link - Strauss - Thorpe - Emburey - K. Fletcher - C. Cowdrey - Bill Edrich - L. Ames - W. Rhodes - WG Grace. Nine players, anyone beat that!"

1712 - 84-2 Ajmal with this stuttering run-up of his, almost as if your satellite reception is playing up, and Trott tucks him round the corner for one. Right in the slot from Ajmal and KP clips him through mid-wicket for four. Another single for Pietersen to fine-leg and he retains the strike...

1708 - 78-2 A thousand thanks Jamie I shall skip all the way home this evening, safe in the knowledge that my stupid name has made someone else with a stupid name feel fairly good. Here comes Umar Gul and Trott moves to 19 with a Chinese cut that very nearly shatters his stumps. That was a no-ball, not called. Gul drags a bumper down leg-side and KP declines to have a go at it but the, erm, Chelsea batsman does pick up a couple with a steer into the covers.

1700 - 75-2 Short-leg in for Trott as Ajmal continues with his dollyish off-breaks and that's a peach of a stroke from Trott, driving through the covers for four - England seize the lead. As a starting point for this linking game, you can use anyone who's still playing the game... drinks...

Mark Dennison in the TMS inbox: "Surely as long as Test cricket remains cheap to watch in South Africa, the future of the England cricket team is secure?"

1657 - 70-2 Single to square-leg for Trott off the bowling of Amir and that's the only run of the over...

1653 - 69-2 Ajmal is next up the ramp and Pietersen and Trott milk him for a couple of singles. Leg before appeal but that was missing KP's off-peg by miles. Should have been gone next ball, though - Pietersen playing a dreadful shot over mid-on and Umar Gul letting the ball through his fingers. The ball dribbles away for four, Pakistan aren't getting any better.

1650 - 63-2 This new Pakistan keeper's a gangly sort, tipping 6ft I'd wager, his pads looking strangely alien on his legs. No alarms and no surprises thus far, though, and that's a maiden over from Amir to Trott. Aggers has just announced that he played with Leics keeper Paul Nixon, which begs the question - what's the fewest links, in terms of who played with who, back to WG Grace you can make? Have I explained that properly? For example, Danny Williams fought Mike Tyson fought Larry Holmes fought Muhammad Ali fought Archie Moore etc etc

1644 - 63-2 Typical Trott, flicking to leg from outside off, before Asif bounces Pietersen and the batsman pulls out of the hook shot. Weird looking stoke earlier in that over, Pietersen coming down the track, Asif bumping him and Pietersen ending up playing it to gully on one leg, in the flamingo fashion.

Brian (working for an ordinary wage) in Liverpool in the TMS inbox: "It's not Test cricket standing alone 'in its refusal to pander to the modern desire for everything from food to entertainment to be fast, cheap and bad'. It's Test cricket being elitist and exclusive to its own ultimate detriment. For me to spend close to £400 for a family of four for a single day's cricket is simply impossible. I want to enjoy the game at first hand; I want to engage my family in the joy of quality (well sometimes) cricket. I also, however, want to be able to afford to give them a holiday once a year, and on an ordinary working wage I simply cannot do both. My family can't get to see Test cricket at first hand, and because we can't afford anything other than terrestrial TV, the chance to watch the game at all is extremely limited. Is this really the way to secure the future of the game?"

1642 - 63-2 Amir nips one past a rather windy woosh from Pietersen but that's a good comeback from KP, driving a low full-toss for four. "What England want here from Pietersen is a fighting innings, head down, nothing elaborate," says Aggers on TMS. "He's not going to be dropped from this England side, but he has to get a score to rebuild his confidence," says Alec Stewart. "He looks focused..."

1636 - 58-2 Trott tucks Asif round the corner for one as the Pakistani fielders chatter away, their voices merging together so as to sound like traders at a market. Pietersen retains the strike with a easy single.

Sully from Hornchurch in the TMS inbox: "I total agree with David Bailey's sentiment. I just don't think it goes far enough. I mean, £10,000 a ticket would improve the sport dramatically, it's directly proportionate. I have done a graph, it explains everything."

1631 - 56-2 Imran Farhat dropped a dolly at Trent Bridge as well, at least he didn't find it funny this time. Pietersen moves to three with a tickle off his pads before Trott takes a risky single off his pads, although risky is relative where this Pakistan side is concerned. Pietersen shoulders arms extravagantly and the ball flicks his pad, but it was nowhere near leg before.

1627 - 54-2 Many thanks to Oliver Brett for filling in there for 20 minutes, I salute you. Iffy on-drive from Pietersen, that was uppish but it brings him one run. Trott gets one that shoots through from Asif before Farhat puts a dolly down at first slip - Trott driving, should have been gone. "They can't catch, it's that simple," rages Sir Boycs, and you can't say blunter than that.

1622 - 53-2 Pietersen is off the mark with a well-played and well-run single into the off-side off Amir, now there's an appeal for caught-behind against Trott, but that one flicked the right-hander's bat, nowhere near his bat. Trott gets a gentle ball on leg-stump and brings England's fifty up with a boundary.

1616 - 48-2 The hot-spot camera's quite rude, you know. The outline of Strauss's jock-strap is clearly detectable, like some of those new controversial X-ray machines at airports... More importantly, this is a big innings for Pietersen, but it's Trott who's on strike after Strauss fell to the last ball of the previous over, and a beautiful on-drive off Asif brings him four.

1608 - WICKET - Strauss c Zulqarnain b Amir 25 (44-2) A little inside edge is clearly detectable on the reply, so Strauss has to go. The Pakistan comeback is on

1608 - 44-1 Pietersen, sitting next to one of the ECB's heavily-staffed coterie of "analysts", scratches his chin thoughtfully. Out in the middle, we have an incident - a review - after Pakistan's appeal for caught-behind is given not out.

Tim in London, TMS inbox: "I'm not going to try to defend the actions of the ECB vis-à-vis international test match pricing, but people should bear in mind that tickets to county matches can be picked up cheaply - Surrey vs. Sussex at the Oval from August 9th is £10 for an adult ticket per day, and £5 for an under-16."

1604 - 44-1 Trott negotiates the remainder of the over. He is batting out of his crease, a well-known tactic for coping with pronounced swing

1603 - WICKET - Cook c Umar Akmal b Asif 17 (44-1) Oh dear, that's one of the worst balls of the day, arguably THE worst ball and Alastair Cook has found a way to get out caught off a glove as an attempted pull is lobbed to second slip.

1559 - 43-0 Quite a long team talk from Salman Butt for his Pakistan side at the side of the wicket before Cook and Strauss stride purposefully out. The rain clouds have dispersed for now, and it will be Mohammad Asif to bowl.

1557 - 43-0 Apologies for interrupting the flow etc, but it is me, Oliver Brett, bringing you the first few overs after tea on this dismal day for Pakistan cricket while Ben enjoys an afternoon cuppa.

David Bailey in the TMS inbox: "I feel I may be alone in defending high ticket prices, but I'm not sure how Steve B (see below) attends other events if they do not involve travel, meals entertainment etc. Perhaps we should have one over cricket contests, with 50p admission, that would certainly drive the game forward. Test cricket stands alone in its refusal to pander to the modern desire for everything from food to entertainment to be fast, cheap and bad - long may it continue. Although, I understand the desire for lower prices; we can return to the era of the valiant amateur sportsmen, because sport was so much better in black and white."

Lee R Barnsdale, Edinburgh, in the TMS inbox: "60 Rand a day at Newlands - that's about a fiver. Pint and a Boerwors roll for a pound each too!"

Andy G in the TMS inbox: "Was lucky enough to be given a couple of test match tickets last season - took my schoolboy son. Was amazed that despite it being the school holidays he was just about the only boy there - but then given the ticket prices perhaps I should have guessed. Expensive tickets are handing the game to the corporate watchers - that was 90% of the crowd. That and the game not being on the terrestrial TV is stunting youth interest in the game. Gone are the days of being able to watch Tests in the holiday and the Sunday League, and gone are the boys playing on the pitch in the interval. It's turning into Wimbledon or Henley. Where will the players of tomorrow come from?"

1541 - 43-0 Last over before tea and it's time for some spin, in the form of Saeed Ajmal. "He's read the book," wisecracks Alec Stewart. Just one single from the over, Strauss with a push into the off-side, and England are 43-0 at tea, 29 runs behind...

Mick, Birmingham, in the TMS inbox: "Hmm - not sure David Bailey has a point about his 'per-hour' charging system. I once went to see the legendary Don Garlits perform at drag racing. He raced for exactly 7.824 seconds. I paid £30 to get in, if I remember correctly. At the time I complained: 'That's £13,803.68p an hour!' I shouted at the ticket vendor. He didn't take me seriously."

1537 - 42-0 One for Cook with a nurdle to mid-wicket. Not sure what happened there - that ball from Asif looked to cut back at Strauss, Asif appealed, and then the man took a catch in the gully. It was, on second viewing, an lbw appeal, but that was going miles over and this time Umpire Erasmus got it right. "After all these mistakes, shouldn't Erasmus give up this umpiring lark and go back to being a renowned theologian and humanist?" emails Tom Buckland. Naughty

1532 - 40-0 Strauss leans forward and tucks Gul to leg for a single before Cook picks up a single of his own. I wouldn't mind too much about ticket prices if you could still climb through holes in fences - many was the time me and my two brothers did that at various Essex grounds, with my dad leading the way. Damn this heightened security and improved meshing.

Steve B in the TMS inbox: "Mr Bailey should realise that ticket prices are only a small part of the cost of a day. Add to that the cost of transport, refreshment, lunch etc and the day becomes exponentially expensive when watching a game that provides as much 'game time' (game time being the time you are doing anything, rather than resetting fields, walking back from deliveries, drinks breaks) as a football or rugby match. This is the reason that shorter versions of the game are finding favour. Bring the prices down and more people would attend."

1529 - 38-0 Asif slides down the leg-side and Cook tickles him round the corner for four. But that's a pearler from Asif, the ball drifting in before pitching and moving away from the groping Cook.

Matt in Sheffield in the TMS inbox: "I've just bought my tickets for the Ashes over in Brisbane in November, it worked out at £85 for a four-day pass - for those without a calculator that's £21.25 a day… ECB take note!"

1523 - 34-0 Gul into the attack and Strauss tugs him round the corner for one before Cook plays another iffy stroke and is very nearly caught by Shoaib Malik in the gully - couldn't quite get his hands underneath it and that smarted. Better from Cook, a leisurely pull shot for one, before Strauss is squared up by a ball that cuts back at him.

1518 - 31-0 David Bailey (see below) - I'm not sure a dad on an average wage with three kids would find anything funny about ticket prices. Unfortunately they don't charge by the hour, and seeing as you mentioned lunch, that'll set you back a fair few quid. Cook fencing again and he's beaten by Asif. You have to wonder about Alastair Cook, he's never fully convinced me against top-notch seam bowling, at times he looks like he's batting in stilettos. One run off the pad of Cook...

David Bailey in the TMS inbox: "Complaints over ticket prices make me laugh, when you consider you can be in the ground almost eight hours including lunch; that's about £7.50 an hour to watch the national team. Tell me where else you'd get such good value, certainly not our pitiful football team at that there London stadium."

1514 - 29-0 Amir bending one back into the left-handed Strauss but that was going over and the appeal is a strangled one. One for Strauss before Cook slashes a wide one from Amir over backward-point for four - little bit iffy. And that's not great either, a very wooden drive and he's beaten.

1509 - 24-0 Not out, Umpire Erasmus overruled for the third time today - it hit him above the knee-roll and was going miles over the top.

1505 - 24-0 All of sudden batting looks pretty easy - comfortable single into the covers for one from Strauss. Cook's been given out next ball, lbw, sorry... he's reviewing though...

Edward Price in the TMS inbox: "Last time I went to a Test match it was £80 a ticket at Lord's. Took my in-laws and my wife so it cost me £360. An absolute disgrace. They complain that not enough people go to Tests but if they dropped the prices they might actually see some spectators."

1503 - 23-0 Good lord, that's as ropey as it gets from Pakistan in the field - Strauss scampers a single and the fielder in the covers gives away four overthrows. Call me a soft lad, but this is a little bit sad to see - West Indies in bits, Pakistan barely county level, Test cricket's not looking that great to be honest. Too straight again from Amir and Cook turns him away for one.

1459 - 16-0 Four streaky runs for Strauss courtesy of a thick outside edge through point but that's more authentic, the England captain driving through the covers for three. We're thinking about writing a blog about Test match pricing in England - interesting? Hammering it down now, groundsfolk poised beyond the boundary, as Cook is beaten through the gate by a devilish ball from Asif.

Cookie in Shrewsbury in the TMS inbox: "Re: Griff in Birmingham. I am going tomorrow, although I agree. This has been brewing for some time although suddenly people are picking up on it post-credit crunch, when attendances are being hit. Used to pay £25 about five or six years ago, peaking at £75 for the Aussies last year (voted with my feet on that one in a stand against the ECB) to £60 now. Bit fresh if you ask me."

1455 - 9-0 Righto, players are already out for England's first innings, and you can be sure there'll be more wickets before the day's out - Asif and Amir will be hooping it both ways. That said, it's brighter now, and Stauss clips the first ball for four off his pads. One more for the England skipper as Amir struggles with his line and Cook is off the mark in similar fashion, turning a ball angled into him away for four more. Good ball to finish the over though, Cook beaten outside the off-stump. Jimmy Anderson's figures for the series? 15-91 at an average of 6.06...

Former England captain Alec Stewart on TMS: "England have bowled well but Pakistan need to take a long hard look at themselves and especially their selection and the way they apply themselves. This is Test cricket, not Twenty20 or one-day cricket. This has been embarrassing so far."

Griff in Birmingham in the TMS inbox: "Re 1431. I think it's a flat out disgrace that they are charging £60 to watch a day at the Test, especially at Edgbaston which is half a building site. The ECB need to have a long hard look at themselves, I would love to have gone (especially as I'm uber hungover and stuck in the office!) but unfortunately the silly prices are to blame."

1440 - WICKET - Asif c Pietersen b Anderson 0 (Pak 72)
Anderson gets Asif ducking with a bumper and he's gone next ball - a riser from Anderson and Asif doesn't fancy that, the ball flying off the shoulder of his bat and into the mitts of Pietersen at gully. That's Pakistan's lowest score against England - a pitiful sight, although you have to say England bowled magnificently.

1437 - 72-9 Remarkable news reaches me that Graeme Swann has bowled fewer than 100 overs in first-class cricket this season, and he's not going to add to that tally today. Rain sweeping in now, it's grim out there for the Pakistanis. That's a decent shot from Ajmal, biffing Broad to the long-in boundary.

1435 - 68-9 Mohammad Asif joins Saeed Ajmal in the middle and he survives the over...

1431 - WICKET - Amir c Cook b Anderson 12 (Pak 67-9)
Edgbaston hasn't filled out today I'm afraid, empty seats everywhere you look in the Hollies Stand. Amir looks to go over the top, doesn't quite get it and picks up two. Pakistan really could do without some miracles in the field, but they've just witnessed one - Amir looks to loft Anderson over the top and Cook takes a beauty over his shoulder running backwards.

1423 - WICKET - Gul c Pietersen b Anderson 0 (Pak 64-8)
Amir and Gul almost get themselves into a right old pickle - Amir pushes into the off-side, Gul doesn't fancy the run and then changes his mind. Deary me. And Gul's gone a few balls later - it's a turkey shoot as Gul skews tamely to Pietersen at gully.

Omar, West Midlands, in the TMS inbox: "This is an absolute disgusting display from Pakistan. They should look at the badge they wear and think of all the supporters they disappoint time and time again. The only reason Pakistan does well in the T20 format is because they only have to concentrate for 20 overs!"

1418 - 63-7 Broad now has 4-32, and that was the best partnership of the match so far, 27 in exactly 10 overs. Umar Gul, who looked in decent nick in Nottingham, is next up the ramp and he gets a spitter first ball, the ball jamming into his bottom hand.

1413 - WICKET - Amin c Collingwood b Broad 23 (Pak 63-7)
Cook is moved to silly mid-off but he's not going to be any use there - short and wide and Amin moves into the 20s with a crackerjack cut for four. But Broad has his revenge next ball - the batsman in two minds, not knowing whether to defend or attack, and that's a fine take from Collingwood at third slip.

1413 - 59-6 Amir looks to leave but leaves too late and the ball glides off the face of his bat for no run. Widish from Anderson and Amir has a dirty great mow at it and misses. A shot so ugly only its mother could love it. Having competed in the World Wife-Carrying Championships in Finland, I've carried a woman as a backpack, over quite some distance. She was later stolen, which was a choker, as she contained my iPod.

1410 - 59-6 Yorker from Broad and Amin just manages to jam his bat down on it. That's a sweet shot from Amin, showing the maker's name and persuading the ball to the wide long-off boundary. One more for Amin before Amir cue-ends just short of Prior behind the stumps. Plenty going on out there since lunch as Amir dabs into the off-side to nick the strike.

1405 - 53-6 Not out - Hotspot reckons he nicked it and the decision is overruled. Over-pitched from Anderson and Amir has absolutely clobbered that, clearing his right leg and smashing through wide mid-off for four. This boy's got some shots, stick around...

Steven (in disbelief!) in Manchester in the TMS inbox: "I can't imagine wearing a woman as a scarf being very comfortable or practical. The only feasible way I can imagine wearing a woman would be as a backpack. Even then she'd have to wear a coat with loads of pockets to be of any use."

1403 - 49-6 Jimmy gets one to swing back in to the left-handed Amir and the umpire's finger goes up - might as well review it, and that's exactly what they do...

1400 - 49-6 The sun poking through now and we've got a rare dropped slip catch - Broad squaring Amin up and Swann shelling a goober. Broad, his dander up, gets one to spit off the surface and find the edge again, and this time it flies off the shoulder, over first slip and away for four.

Greg from Blyth in the TMS inbox: "Re: womon as scarf - if the comment was made in the workplace, have we time travelled back to the 1970s. If so, can I come work with you?"

1357 - 45-6 Bit of width for Amir and perhaps he should have had a swat at that, what with scoring opportunities being so rare. Another wide one next ball from Anderson and Amir throws the sink at it - and is beaten.

1353 - 45-6 A couple for Amir and he picks up one more with a steer into the off-side. A shot of Pietersen, the man with no county, standing at gully, anonymous as ever in the field. He could certainly do with a few runs this Test, although they might be difficult to come by on this deck against this Pakistan attack. I have to say I find the idea of a bloke who only plays for England a bit odd. It's like a stand-up comic turning up at the London Palladium having not done any gigs for months and still expecting to perform.

1349 - 42-6 Anderson to continue and he immediately locates the edge of Amir's bat. Amir squirts a thick inside edge to square-leg for a couple, no great drama since lunch, England's bowlers just feeling their way in.

1345 - 40-6 Adrian (see below), did the man in question deliver that line in the workplace? If so, is he still employed? Amin turns Broad off his pads for one before Amir is off the mark with an on-drive. Amin skews a drive just short of the slip cordon and he picks up one run.

1340: Here come the Pakistan batsmen, making their way to the middle under rather murky skies, we'll have play in a minute or so.

Adrian, Southampton, in the TMS inbox: "My work colleague Summer has just been told by someone that he would like to wear her as a scarf - can anyone confirm if this fits into the wearing something ironically category?"

Joe in the TMS inbox: "Ben - you're probably too young to remember the TV adverts for Hai Karate. They featured a young man who, having splashed the stuff on, was forced to demolish half a room with karate blows to stay out of the clutches of Valerie Leon. I know plenty of people who would have demolished half a room to get into the clutches of Valerie Leon…"

Dave Evans in the TMS inbox: "Re: 'Pakistan drop wicket-keeper Akmal' headline - Are they sure he didn't drop himself?"

Indie, London, in the TMS inbox: "True ironic aftershave is applied to the face before a shave. If you really want to make a point you can then go out with your newly hairless face covered in shaving cream."

1308: Test Match Special are going to discuss the state of Pakistan cricket during the interval - is that long enough though? It's the final day of some important Championship matches and you can check out the latest lunch scores on the BBC Sport website.

Rob McKay in the TMS inbox: "Whilst it's great to see England dominating a series, which will give them confidence going into the winter Ashes tour, I just wonder whether it's confidence built on sand. Even though Australia are in the process of change and there will be no McGrath or Warne, they'll be a different proposition on their own turf. England's batting is just TOO inconsistent."

Dave in the TMS inbox: "Surely wearing aftershave if you have NOT shaved is ironic? Aftershave sans shave or shower is verging on sarcasm."

1304 - 37-6 Fourteen maidens before lunch and six wickets - England's morning? I'm off for lunch, stop emailing for a while...

Dave Ashton in the TMS inbox: "Is it possible that Pakistan are playing cricket ironically?"

1302 - 37-6 Finn gets one to shoot through at shin height but it's wide of Amin's timbers. One for Amin and he moves to seven, which brings Amir back on strike - outside off, it's left alone and that's lunch...

Robin Catterall in the TMS inbox: "On the subject of alternative uses for 1970's aftershave, I adapted a recent recipe from Valentine Warner for chilled summer peaches in Sauternes. I simply substituted a bottle of late 1970's Aqua Manda for the Sauternes and honestly couldn't tell the difference. I also benefitted from the most incredible breath for weeks after."

1258 - 36-6 To be fair to Haider, he got a plum first ball, although it's not entirely sure he hit it. Mohammad Amir is next out of the hutch and he has a nibble at one outside off but doesn't get anything on it. Pakistan's lowest score against England was 80 at, erm, Trent Bridge in 2010... their lowest total overall was 53 v Australia at Sharjah in 2002.

1254 - WICKET - Haider c Prior b Broad 0 (Pak 36-6)
You have to wonder about some of this Pakistan decision-making, they really don't seem to know what they're doing - that's twice now they've not reviewed when the ball hit outside off. And what's the point of saving your reviews for the tail-enders? An interesting aside is that Umar Amin hasn't got a future as an umpire, he was convinced as Erasmus. Here's the spindly wicketkeeper Haider, a right-hander on Test debut... gone first ball, feathering a catch behind...

1249 - WICKET - Akmal lbw b Finn 17 (Pak 33-5)
Finn locates Akmal's outside edge, but it's thickish. Huge lbw appeal against Akmal - and it's given by Umpire Erasmus. But once against Pakistan have erred, it was hitting outside the line and should have been reviewed.

Steve, Sussex, in the TMS inbox: "There's nothing wrong with a bit of Brut - the Essence of Man. I've been wearing it, non-ironically, for about six months now. Female work colleagues often ask what I am wearing, to which I reply 'Oh, something I got for Xmas, can't remember the name though'. They always reply 'it's nice'. Try it."

1245 - 33-4 Amin's not going to play at anything he doesn't have to, very watchful in that Broad over, yet another maiden...

1241 - 33-4 Four slips in for the left-handed Amin but that's leg-side from Finn and the batsman nurdles for one. Boycs is full of philosophical morsels today: "The toss is only good to win if you use it well." The man is a bona fide sage.

1238 - 32-4 That's a pretty poor shot from Akmal, fencing outside off, as Sir Boycs announces that England would beat Pakistan in any conditions - "it's men against boys". Broad gets one to arc away from Akmal and the little right-hander can't resist having a nibble. Akmal beaten again! Brollies have gone down though, which is good news, if you're not Umar Akmal... apologies, got my scoring a little mixed up for a couple of overs, manually refresh and it will be corrected...

Simon, in no way bitter, Sussex, in the TMS inbox: "Re: Gemma (see below) - Have you left any organisations that nurtured your talents from an early age, in slightly dubious circumstances, in order to take on a leadership role in an organisation with whom the first shares a fierce rivalry?"

1232 - 29-4 Umar Amin survived the rest of that over from Broad - just. Quick single from Akmal, as Aggers announces, rather aptly, that lunch on TMS will be spent discussing what's wrong with Pakistani cricket. Amin is off the mark with a couple off his hip but is shotless for the rest of the over.

Dave in Yeovil, munching on a Belgian bun, in the TMS inbox: "Early days I know, but this has got to be the poorest Pakistan side I have ever seen."

1227 - WICKET - Azhar lbw b Broad 0 (Pak 29-4)
Leg-side half-bunger from Broad and Akmal's dumped him over the fence for six. What an odd little morning. Akmal picks up a single and Azhar is back on strike. And Azhar's gone without scoring! Broad gets one to cut back and rap him on the knee-roll and the umpire pulls his trigger immediately - Azhar asks Akmal if he should review it, and Akmal sends him on his way. Odd, especially as HawkEye suggests it might have hit outside the line.

1222 - 22-3Mike (see below), that's Hai Karate, my friend, and don't you forget it. Finn miserly as ever, giving Pakistan nothing, and Azhar gropes outside off-stump and is beaten again. Azhar, still scoreless after 29 balls, is beaten again, the batsman stiffening as the ball passed his bat. Watching this Pakistan batting line-up against the moving ball puts me in mind of Skywalker against that laser-firing hovering thingy the first time they stuck a light sabre in his hands on the Falcon.

1218 - 21-3 Broad back on from the old Pavilion End, towards the new Pavilion End, and he has Azhar hopping with a ripping yorker right into his toes. The batsman very nearly kicked that on. Spots of rain at Edgbaston, a few umbrellas unfurling like mushrooms in a dewy field.

Mike in the TMS inbox: "My father tells me of an old aftershave known as 'high karate'. I'm not sure of its potency as a male fragrance but it has been found to be of good use as an agri-chemical for the control of aphids."

1213 - 21-3 "Talented but vulnerable" is CMJ's summation of Umar Akmal, as Finn gets one past his rather rickety defences. All those raps and Broad serves up a rather wooden piece of fielding, allowing Akmal a couple to square-leg. Poor old Azhar still on nought having faced 19 balls...

1209 - 19-3 Umar Akmal is next up the ramp and he's off the mark immediately with a couple before flipping Anderson off his pads for only the second four of the morning. Anderson gets one to swing lavishly into the right-handed Akmal and a rather optimistic lbw appeal is shrugged off by Umpire Davis. "Is this the best England fielding side you've seen?" asks Alec Stewart of CMJ. CMJ is inconclusive, but I can't remember a better one, everything seems to stick.

1204 - WICKET - Shoaib c Prior b Anderson 3 (Pak 12-3)
Another wicket, and what a catch that is from Prior - Shoaib had to play against a ball of full length from Anderson and the Sussex gloveman snaffled a corker diving low to his right. This is all a little bit difficult to watch - or am I being too nice?

Steve B, Cricklade, Wilts, in the TMS inbox: "Five years ago I wore Brut aftershave in an ironic manner to a party. However I was told in no uncertain terms that it is not possible to wear aftershave ironically by a female party goer. Her credentials were impeccable (apart from bits of chilli dip stuck to her teeth) so I did not repeat the reckless stunt again."

1200 - 9-1 Shoaib Malik has been nudged up the order a couple of places and he's off the mark with a nicely-timed three through extra-cover to take Pakistan into double-figures. Azhar is squared up and is still scoreless when the over ends. Lots of school kids in today - making a racket, but at least they're not burning mattresses in stairwells.

1155 - WICKET - Butt c Swann b Finn 7 (Pak 9-2)
Another wicket down - Butt throws the bat at one outside off-stump, nicks it and Swann snaffles the catch at second slip. That's what happens when you play attacking strokes on this pitch...

1153 - 9-1 Anderson with a bumper and it sticks in the turf, like a thumb being prodded into a suet dumpling. Azhar plays a rather worried-looking drive for no run and that's the ninth maiden in 13 overs... "this is anti-Twenty20," says Simon Mann on TMS, a little wistfully...

1150 - 9-1 We have a bowling change, with Steve Finn replacing Stuart Broad. The Middlesex man, who has made such a fine impression since breaking through into the Test side, ploughing a furrow outside Butt's off-stump, there really is no let-up - 12 overs bowled, just nine runs scored. Several ironic emails regarding Gerri Halliwell have made their way into the TMS inbox, reminding me of a conversation I had with my mother only the other day: Mum: "I blame the Spice Girls." Me: "For what?" Mum: "For everything." Remarkable.

1145 - 9-1 Broad whispering questions down the corridor of uncertainty, getting the ball to hoop away from the right-handed Azhar and Azhar refusing to bite, leaving everything alone. Anderson to continue and there's the first run since that Butt boundary in the third over, Butt tickling off his pads for one. Just one from that over... Carl (see below), Old Spice never goes off and is an integral ingredient in a Spicy Stratos - try with a sprig of mint.

Carl Evans, Crepy, France, in the TMS inbox: "I still have a bottle of Old Spice my Auntie Sadie gave me for Christmas in 1974. Do you think it's safe to drink or is it well past it's use by date?"

1139 - 8-1 Azhar Ali is the new batsman, he made 14 and 0 at Trent Bridge - one ball to face, and he survives it. Happy birthday Norman Gordon! The oldest surviving Test cricketer is 99 today. A South African, he played five Tests between 1938 and 1939 and featured in the fabled Timeless Test against England, which took 10 days and was eventually drawn because England had to catch a boat home. Anderson gives Butt a proper working over in his next over, beating the bat on a couple of occasions with lavish away-swingers before getting one to slide back in. The last ball is an absolute peach, full and arcing away and leaving Butt poking at midair. Too, too cruel...

1131 - WICKET - Farhat c Prior b Broad 0 (Pak 8-1)
Farhat remains on nought after fully half an hour in the middle, only the meanest of England fan would want him to walk off with a duck now. Broad very nearly makes it happen, trumping Anderson with a wicked delivery that shoots across Farhat's bow... and he's a goner I'm afraid, finally edging to Prior behind the stumps... sweet, sweet bowling from England...

Andy, Kent, in the TMS inbox: "I think within certain male demographics it is definitely possible to use toiletries with irony. Whether it would be possible for ladies to do so would be an almost imponderable philosophical question."

1126 - 8-0 That's a snorter from Anderson, the ball pitching on middle before darting right and beating the outside edge of Butt's blade. Anderson then gets one to shape back in before getting another to pitch on middle and leave Butt again. It was a no-ball, but Jimmy repeats the trick next ball and it's death by a thousand off-cutters at the moment for Butt.

Mark Newman-Goodall in the TMS inbox: "Not sure that 'Jimmy Jimmy' is a good suggestion, the song ends with 'no one saw the ambulance that took little Jim away'. Is Dan advocating an injury?"

1122 - 7-0 Some consternation as to why Anderson isn't bowling at the other end, the breeze apparently would suit Anderson better. Broad gets one to nibble past the edge of Farhat's tentative forward defensive. Farhat ends the other on nowt, that's another maiden over...

1118 - 7-0 Anderson very nearly squeezes one through Butt's guard before getting one to spit off the surface again like fat out of a frying pan. A huge bang yonder, which CMJ on TMS reckons sounds like a cow breathing into a microphone. Weird.

Gemma in the TMS inbox: "Ben, how I have missed you. A cricket-loving (male) colleague has just likened me to 'a female version of (Surrey captain) Rory Hamilton-Brown.' I think it was a compliment, but not sure what he meant and I'm too scared to ask. Could be that we are a similar age, blessed with very blonde hair and a good tan? Or maybe that I am the youngest person in our team to get a hefty promotion, or is it that I am frustratingly inconsistent, particularly against spin? All interpretations welcome."

1115 - 7-0 No pace in this pitch, it's like a stretch of uncooked phyllo pastry. Bit of swing for Broad into the left-handers, not as much as his new-ball partner. The big guns in today - there's Gary Newbon up on the balcony, nattering with England's first £1m player, Trevor Francis. If anyone emails in to point out that he cost Cloughie £999, 999.99, I'll be ruddy annoyed...

1111 - 7-0 The first boundary of the match from Butt courtesy of an open-faced drive through backward-point. Anderson gets one to take off outside Butt's off-stump and there were signs there that Jimmy was slipping into his groove...

Dan in Balham in the TMS inbox: "Re New tune to come out to, how about the chaps walking out to 'Jimmy Jimmy' by The Undertones?"

1108 - 3-0 Broad shares the new cherry and his first ball is full of length to Salman Butt, as it should be in these conditions. There's the first run of the innings courtesy of a nibble round the corner from Butt. An apocalyptic scene behind Farhat as Broad steams in, great swaths of Edgbaston a building site. No team has scored 400 on this ground this year, so I'm told, as Farhat glances for one and Butt adds one more...

1103 - 0-0 Before we start, I've been meaning to ask - I see Old Spice has made a comeback, which raises an interesting philosophical question: is it possible to wear an aftershave ironically? Right, here's Anderson, and we have a review second ball! That never looked like hitting to me - the umpire gave it not out and HawkEye confirms it was going over. Two slips and a gully in for Imran Farhat, who leaves the rest of Anderson's over alone. Hint of swing back in to the left-hander...

Former England captain Alec Stewart on TMS: "Salman Butt talked very well at the toss but the skipper will now have to take on the new ball and lead from the front. As a neutral you wish him well."

1056: Jerusalem at Edgbaston - bit bored of that to be honest. Any suggestions for something new? Here come the players, we'll have play in a few minutes. Jimmy Anderson from the City End? I'd imagine so...

Andrew, Birmingham, in the TMS inbox: "RE: 1032. I think Pakistan would have been better off with Roberto Duran behind the stumps at Trent Bridge, far less unpredictable…"

Peter from Sandhurst in the TMS inbox: "I think it's unfair labelling Kamran Akmal as having hands of stone - personally I think 'handen zoals voeten', as our Dutch neighbours would say, is much more apt - hands like feet, 'according to Babel fish."

1052: Some info on Zulqarnain Haider, Pakistan's debutant behind the stumps: he's 24, from Lahore and he's played 70 first-class matches and scored 3,078 runs at 34.58, with three tons and 17 fifties, so he can bat a bit. We'll soon find out what his glovework's like, maybe even today...

marvmark on 606 "Pakistan should have bowled first. Especially now they have a proper keeper!"

Tim, London, in the TMS inbox: "I cannot believe that Salman Butt has put Pakistan in - is he some kind of masochist? The only thing Pakistan have got going for them is their bowling attack, why would they not put England in and put them under pressure?"

1042: As I say, it's cloudy in Birmingham but no rain as yet - however, showers are forecast for later in the day. Jimmy Anderson will be salivating up in the dressing room like a thirsty old bulldog, he should be a real handful again today. Softish pitch apparently, which suggests it should seam around as well...

England: Andrew Strauss (capt), Alastair Cook, Jonathan Trott, Kevin Pietersen, Paul Collingwood, Eoin Morgan, Matt Prior (wk), Graeme Swann, Stuart Broad, James Anderson, Steven Finn

Pakistan: Salman Butt (capt), Imran Farhat, Azhar Ali, Shoaib Malik, Umar Amin, Umar Akmal, Zulqarnain Haider (wk), Mohammad Amir, Umar Gul, Saeed Ajmal, Mohammad Asif

1036: Butt comes over all philosophical chatting to Athers, pointing out that while the half-built portions of Edgbaston might look ugly now, one day they will be part of a palace - just like the Pakistan cricket team. Like it. No Mohammad Yousuf for Pakistan - he only rocked up in England a couple of days ago and was considered to be a bit rusty.

1032: The big news from the Pakistan camp is that Kamran 'Manos de Piedra' Akmal has been canned meaning Zulqarnain Haider will make his debut behind the stumps. Spinner Danish Kaneria is also out and has been replaced by Saeed Ajmal, playing in his sixth Test. Salman Butt has won the toss and Pakistan are going to have a bat - cloud cover at Edgbaston...

1030: Hello. Yes, it's me again, doing this. Hope you're all well. The second Test match between dear old England and the touring Pakistanis starts at 1100 BST and is taking place in Birmingham. England are one-up, and are red-hot favourites to go two-up. Stick around and I'll tell you what happens...