FOURTH TEST, MELBOURNE (close), DAY ONE: Australia 48-2 v England 159 all out Shane Warne takes his 700th Test wicket as England are skittled out for 159 with Australia on 48-2 on day one of the fourth Ashes Test.
THE DAY'S ACTION (all times local to Melbourne - GMT+11)
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep winner: Congratulations to the semi-aptly named Scott Warner, who predicted Andrew Strauss would fall in the 43rd over, just three short of the 46 when he was dismissed. A bag of BBC Sport goodies is one its way to you, you lucky thing. Thanks to everyone who took part, I'll try and liven up tomorrow's commentary with another competition.
I honestly don't know what to make of that - like receiving a silk G-string from your nan on Christmas day. That double strike was absolutely crucial for any hopes of England victory, but a couple of hours of the Hayden and Ponting show and it's goodbye England, hello 4-0.
CLOSE OF PLAY - AUSTRALIA 44-2
1846: Hayden smashes a short Hoggard delivery down to the square leg boundary before watchfully seeing out the rest of his over to see the Australians at: 48-2 at stumps on day one.
1839: WICKET Australia 44-2 (Lee 0)
Time to spit out the cornflakes, Flintoff is on a hat-trick after having Lee caught behind first ball. The Barmy Army have woken from their post-Christmas slumber just when it seemed it couldn't get any worse. In strolls Ricky Ponting, but Flintoff slides his third ball down the leg-side. 1836: WICKET Australia 44-1 (Langer 27)
Finally something goes England's way - Justin Langer flails needlessly to a wide Flintoff delivery and nicks a catch to Chris Read into his shiny new red gloves. Australia decide not to risk Ricky Ponting so Brett Lee strolls out to the crease. 1833: Looks as if Justin Langer been on Christmas turkey duty, carving out three runs through gully. Hayden added a single earlier in the over. Good morning if you've just joined us. Look at the score. Release a scream of choice. Go back to bed. 44-0
"I've just found out I'm getting divorced. This is far more depressing..."
PJ via email1828: Although the runs are ticking along nicely, there have been a few brave leaves from the openers, one in particular from Hayden off Flintoff which whistled by the off stump. The openers pick up five runs. 40-0
1822: Despite their proliferation of easy runs, Langer and Hayden have their fair share of swings and misses. Hayden attempts an almighty thwack which he completely misses and the final ball of Hoggard's over sees yet another confident appeal turned down. Hawk-eye says the ball would've hit Hayden's leg stump, umpire Koertzen says the ball would've missed leg stump. Case dismissed. Maiden for Hoggard. 35-0
1818: Hayden rocks back onto his back foot and smashes through mid-wicket for three off Flintoff, who oversteps to add another run to the total. Freddie switches to around the wicket to Langer, who picks up two runs around the corner. 35-0
"I have a wager on England to lose all five Tests. Do you think it was a good bet?"
Peter, Clitheroe
1814: If you thought things couldn't get any worse, Hoggard has a more than useful shout for lbw against Hayden turned down by slow-death Koertzen, who is ironically quick off the mark when it comes to turning down appeals. Good over from Hoggy though. 24-0
1809: A tidier over from Flintoff, who collects two runs off the England captain's fifth ball. 24-0
"There has been no fight today. England have been pretty poor."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS1809: A tidier over from Flintoff, who collects two runs off the England captain's fifth ball. 24-0
"Just had a nightmare night in Southampton custody but even as the cells quieten down the nightmare continues. I thought five hours of listening to a drunk kick hell out of a cell was bad. Then I looked at the Test score!"
Matt Travis via email
1804: Two classy off-drives from both Langer and Hayden sees the score galloping along. I'm sure this wasn't the scenario Freddie had imagined when he went to bed last night. But I'm sure there were a fair few people on these shores who did. 22-01758: Flintoff partners Hoggard with the new ball and has Langer feeling for fresh air with a belting off-cutter. A decent pull earns Langer three runs before Freddie has a semi-useful lbw shout against Hayden turned down. 13-0
1753: So here we go, can England redeem any semblance of respectability in this hour or so of the evening session? Not if that first over is anything to go by as Justin Langer and Matthew Hayden collect 10 runs. A thick outside edge from Langer finds the boundary through third slip, while an attractive push off the back foot collects three. Hayden picks up a single, with a no-ball adding the extra run. 10-0
ENGLAND FIRST INNINGS - 159 ALL OUT
1739: WICKET England 159 all out (Panesar 4)
It's depressing, it's abject, it's an all-round bag of spanners but somehow most of us saw this coming. A ball after Monty smashed a Warne full-toss for two, he finds Andrew Symonds at mid-on for a simple catch, handing Warney his 704th wicket - his 37th five-wicket haul in Tests. Everyone's favourite Victorian has the crowd on their feet, rightly milking the applause for all it's worth, tipping his hat along the way. 1737: Where has Hoggy been hiding his shots? The burly Yorkshireman pulls McGrath for four, bringing about the biggest cheer of the day from the Barmy Army. A saucy looking drive is well stopped by Symonds at mid-off a few balls later. 157-9
1733: A lower-order batting competition looks to be brewing as Hoggard, clearly miffed about his relegation to 11, sweeps Warne for three very useful runs down to fine leg. Monty, not to be outdone, turns two runs down to square leg. 153-9
1730: Hoggy turns a low McGrath full-toss straight to mid-on, taking on a seriously dodgy single to Michael Clarke, whose throw misses the stumps with the Yorkshireman a good distance out of his crease. 147-9
1722: WICKET England 146-9 (Pietersen 21)
It was so inevitable - KP holes out to deep long on off Warne, where Andrew Symonds makes a high catch look incredibly easy. I think I hear the distant sound of heads smashing keyboards. Hoggy ambles in, looking about as eager as the last turkey in the slaughterhouse, and picks up an edged single. 1718: The field spreads for KP, who eschews the singles but takes one on the penultimate delivery of the McGrath over. Monty then plays a forward defensive that would have any MCC member drooling. We'll leave that one there... 144-8
1710: WICKET England 135-8 (Harmison 7)
Hello Steve have some of that - Warne gets his third wicket of the day when Harmison tries to hit him out to the Tasman Sea, but finds the hands of Michael Clarke at mid-on. If you've just woken up, go back to sleep. Big cheer for Monty, who usurps Matthew Hoggard for the honour of England's number 10. 1708: Hello Glenn, have some of that - Harmison smacks McGrath straight over his head for the seventh boundary of the day. Two singles add to the total.144-7
1704: Blue sky in Melbourne, absolutely no chance of torrential rain to rescue England from another abject collapse. Pietersen and Harmison swap singles, there isn't anything else to say really. Sorry. 138-7
1658: WICKET England 135-7 (Mahmood 0)
I feel like the Oracle - Mahmood wafts outside off stump to Glenn McGrath and edges to Adam Gilchrist diving to his right. If your head isn't in your hands, it's probably somewhere on the floor. Another Ashes milestone - Mahmood becomes McGrath's 150th Ashes victim. Steve Harmison is promoted to nine and keeps out a McGrath yorker. 135-71655: Saj Mahmood plays out Warne's 13th over - it's hardly text-book batting but he hasn't given his wicket away. Yet. The 24th maiden of the innings. 135-6
1651: Poor KP, lumbered with the tail once more. You've got to feel for the poor fella, he can take bowling attacks apart in an instant, but when he's left with more rabbits than the cast of Watership Down, can we realistically expect an epic onslaught? A maiden over from McGrath. 135-6
1646: WICKET England 135-6 (Read 3) Come back Geraint Jones, all is forgiven. Chris Read is caught by Ricky Ponting attempting to spank Shane Warne through extra cover, but only succeeds in finding Ricky Pointing at short extra cover. An obvious trap, but Read fell for it and Warney has 701 Test victims. Hats off to meticulous Aussie planning, but this really is depressing for England fans. Can it get any worse? Of course it can... 1638: Rejoice! Six runs off a Clark over, the maiden-machine has been finally broken! Pietersen picks up five runs with Read collecting the other. 125-5
1638: The word attrition springs to mind because this really isn't pretty cricket. The crowd are subdued as Pietersen and Read are doing their best to make ugly cricket look good at an unearthly hour in an office in west London. 127-5
1638: The word attrition springs to mind because this really isn't pretty cricket. The crowd are subdued as Pietersen and Read are doing their best to make ugly cricket look good at an unearthly hour in an office in west London. 125-5
1634: Clark. Maiden. Someone score a run off him. Please. 123-5
1630: 125-5 Read and Pietersen pick up singles cutting Warne down to deep cover. He dusts down the googly, which Read looks to have read. He definitely didn't have a clue about the next one, where Read is beaten all ends up by yet another unplayable delivery. 1626: Poor Kevin Pietersen, lumbered with the tail once again. Surely he should move up the order to four? Mr D Fletcher, discuss. The dashing number five plays out another Stuart Clark, fast becoming cricket's equivalent to Fort Knox, over for a maiden. 123-5
1623: If you're peering through bleary eyes checking up on the first-day score, your eyes aren't deceiving you, England really are deep in the doo-doo. Shane Warne is clearly loving this, Chris Read clearly isn't. The wicket-keeper is utterly baffled by a typical Warne delivery pitching on leg missing off. 123-5
1617: WICKET England 122-5 (Flintoff 13) Clark is finally rewarded for his miserly bowling when he has Flintoff caught at first slip by Shane Warne. The England captain pushed forward to a ball which bounced more than he anticipated, presenting Warne a simple catch. In comes Chris Read - if there was ever a time to show you have the mettle for the big-time, now's the time to do it son. That's Clark's 18th wicket of the series, now that was one I didn't see coming.
1614: Missed stumping as Pietersen waltzes down the wicket is grandly beaten by a big, turning leg-break. But Gilchrist's blue gloves fail to collect the ball, giving Pietersen - who gave up the ghost down the track - enough time to find safe ground. More "ooohs" as KP top edges a sweep to fine leg. 119-4
1611: Stuart "Scrooge" Clark is back on again, that man would have Dickens re-writing his Christmas fable were he alive and watching his display at the MCG in 2006. 117-4
1607: I would recommend tuning into the BBC highlights tonight just to see arch-Victorian commentator Bill Lawry wax lyrical about the state's favourite blonde for his 700th wicket. In the meantime Warney beats Flintoff with a sublime leg-break, the kind of delivery you could display in an art gallery and discuss its artistic merit. 117-4
Email the BBC Sport website and the TMS team on TMS@bbc.co.uk
"Australia haven't had one of their best days with their catching. If it wasn't for the two catches put down, never mind the two close lbws against Collingwood, England could have been in worse trouble."
Geoff Boycott on TMSTEA
1543: More air slashing from Freddie, which doesn't make comfortable viewing, listening or reading, whichever medium you are monitoring the action. Flintoff collects two runs through the covers and Pietersen adds a single before the teams come off for tea. 117-41539: Love him or loathe him, Warne really is a different class. He has Pietersen feeling outside off stump to big-spinning deliveries around middle stump. This is a first day seam-friendly pitch and Warney's turning it like it's the fourth day. I'll be so happy when you finally say au revoir Shane... 114-4
1535: Just when I've bigged up Freddie's nifty footwork, he promptly plays and misses three Brett Lee deliveries, making the already nervous Chris Read running for the safety of the dressing room dunnies. Four runs from the over, three from a Flintoff pull and a single from Pietersen. 114-4
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep updates: "Well, Colly went in the 46th over and Warne's 700th was the 4th wicket of the innings, I claim moral prediction victory for being close(ish).
Simon Furnivall
"Well done Warne. Absolute legend. We will still win the 4th and 5th Tests though."
Robert, Gillingham, Kent via email
 Warne had the crowd on their feet with the dismissal of Strauss |
1531: I think Warne is secretly gutted that Kevin Pietersen was not 700 because this really is one of the best duels in modern day Test cricket. KP is using his feet to negate Warney's magic, but can't pierce the tightly packed infield. You can't see KP retreating into his shell in this sort of position, especially with Freddie at the other end. Expect pyrotechnics of some sort. 110-41528: A glimmer of optimism of the severely depressed England followers - Freddie's footwork is looking better than it has done all tour. Both he and Pietersen swap singles off Brett Lee. 110-4 "Somehow it was always meant to be."
Tim Lane on TMS
1521: WICKET England 107-4 (Strauss 51) How inevitable was it? Andrew Strauss goes down in history as Shane Warne's 700th Test victim, bowled through the gate attempting to drive the leg-spinner through the covers. The crowd go absolutely bananas and Warne acknowledges the 85,000 or so by presenting the ball in a regal manner - the king of the MCG takes a bow. Freddie strolls out to the crease and promptly smacks Warne straight back past his head with an exocet of a straight drive. 1519: WICKET England 101-3 (Collingwood 28)
Oh dear, I've caught my colleague Stevo's misfortune of praising someone the over before their dismissal. Collingwood's time at the crease comes to an end when he follows a sharp, rising delivery from Brett Lee, which finds the reliable hands of Ricky Ponting at second slip. 1512: Good over for England as Strauss reaches a well-deserved half-century with a sweep for a single off Warne. And Collingwood takes advantage of two deliveries outside leg stump with two paddle sweeps, picking up a four and a three. This is developing into a more than useful partnership, neither man wants to be forever etched in cricket history as number 700.101-21508: Brett Lee is back on again, but Paul Collingwood is really not at his best, mis-timing his cuts and drives. He finally gets one to the third man boundary with a well-controlled upper cut. 93-2
1504: Warney is sniffing 700 - he beats Collingwood with an absolute ripper of a leg-break. Both Strauss and Collingwood pick up singles with sweeps. Strauss moves on to 49. 89-2
1501: Will someone do something about Stuart Clark? Why does he have to bowl so accurately, making my job of trying to write something interesting even harder than it already is? If you haven't guessed, another maiden. 87-2 "I don't understand why Pietersen doesn't come in at four. He has the ability to put the bowling team on the back foot."
Ian Chappell on TMS
1457: And on comes the blonde-haired favourite to a tumultuous reception. The first four balls are tense, but Collingwood skips down the track and smacks the leggie over mid-on for four. Warne then drops shot and Collingwood takes an easy single down to deep cover. 87-2
1452: I hope Stuart Clark didn't dress up as Santa on Christmas Day because he really is in the meanest of moods at the MCG. Warney watch: He's warming up, circling those arms. I think we could be in for a pretty special reception...82-2
"Pietersen will become the Warney 700 in the 48th over (and will shake his hand to congratulate him too)."
Paul Goldsmith via email
1447: Nice touch from Justin Langer, who removes Warney's sunhat, much to the delight of the 100,000. But the ball finds its way to Andrew Symonds and the cheers subside. Strauss plays another tasty drive for three through cover. 82-21444: Stu Clark is not feeling particularly festive, giving absolutely nothing away once more. Warney's back on again, takes a good look at the ball at first slip and bowls it to Michael Clarke in the covers to a muted cheer from the faithful. 79-2
1440: Mitchell Johnson comes on for local hero Shane Warne, but the golden one misses absolutely nothing of note as Strauss grinds out an accurate over from Clark. 79-2
Keep your Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep updates coming through on:TMS@bbc.co.uk
"This is a horrible innings but fair play to him (Collingwood). He's batted like this on numerous occasions. The ball never seems to find the middle of the bat."
Angus Fraser on TMS.
1436: No sign of Warney as yet but Stuart Clark is keeping the runs down to next to nothing. Two extravagant plays and misses from Collingwood, he isn't doing his chances of staying at the crease for a sustained period any favours. 79-2
1430: Symonds is staking a pretty good claim for that Aussie all-rounder role, another useful lbw against Collingwood claim is turned down by Aleem Dar. But fair play to Colly, it's not pretty but he picks up a single, while Strauss whips two runs off his toes. 77-2
1426: Corr blimey, would you believe it? Matthew "Bucket-hands" Hayden drops the easiest catch of his Test career as Strauss flails to gully off Clark. Geoffrey Boycott's mum's infamous pinny would've snaffled that straightforward catch. Strauss handles the rest of the over with circumspect. For a man who hasn't had the luck in this series, this could be a defining moment for Strauss, who is on 41. It's pretty quiet in "The G", you wouldn't think there are 100,000 packed to the rafters. 72-2
1421: Symonds is bowling well, dreadlocks bustling in the wind. Strauss drives firmly into the covers for a single. 72-2
"It might appear boring but it's the one that all the top bowlers use."
Angus Fraser on response to Hugh Trivedi's email that Glenn McGrath bores batsmen bowling outside off stump.1417: Strauss is keeping the total ticking over, this time with a push into the covers for a single, with the added bonus of an overthrow off McGrath. 71-2
1413: Another nice cut from Strauss for another three, commencing the Colly v Symonds battle. So far Symonds is bullying the all-rounder, but Colly's battling away, wearing a few choice bruises for his efforts. 68-2
"McGrath is the most boring bowler in the world. He keeps bowling outside the off stump at a line every batsman knows he can leave. Metronomic, yes, negative, maybe, boring, no question!" Hugh Trivedi
1409: The highlight of that over was a spanking cut from Strauss, who dispatches only the third boundary of the day off Clark. But the McGrath clone gets his own back with a snorter outside off stump on the last delivery. 64-2
1409: The highlight of that over was a spanking cut from Strauss, who dispatches only the third boundary of the day off Clark. But the McGrath clone gets his own back with a snorter outside off stump on the last delivery. 64-2
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep update: "KP in the 70th over sounds like a pretty sound bet to me. The Aussies keep getting all this poetic justice, I don't see it stopping anytime soon, sadly."Dan Hancox
1405: I hate to use this horrid clich�, but Colly's got a bout of the wobbles. Symonds has a confident appeal for caught behind turned down by umpire Koertzen before another loud shout for lbw the very next delivery. Kevin Pietersen must be shifting uneasily in his seat. And the over began so well when Strauss cut for three. 60-2
1401: This is getting boring. Glenn McGrath beats Paul Collingwood twice outside off stump before cutting the Adelaide double centurion with an absolute ripper. 57-2
1357: Andrew Symonds comes on bowling seamers, nothing of real note although I do wish Symonds would wear a pair of yellow sunglasses to look like my second favourite Dutch footballer of all time, Edgar Davids. 57-2
1353: Strauss picks up five off a McGrath over, two runs with an thick inside edge through mid-on and three with a tidy clip off the legs. He's looking in good nick, he'll need to be because this really isn't helpful batting conditions. 57-2
1349: This is proper under-the-cosh stuff from the Australians, who are keeping things tighter than Mike Gatting's jockstrap. Another maiden from Stuart Clark.51-2
 Stuart Clark celebrates the wicket of Ian Bell |
1349: This is proper under-the-cosh stuff from the Australians, who are keeping things tighter than Mike Gatting's jockstrap. Another maiden from Stuart Clark.51-2
1344: Collingwood is dropped by Gilchrist edging a classic McGrath "should I play or should I leave it?" delivery outside off stump. The wicket-keeper dives to his right and makes a brilliant goalkeeping save, but unfortunately nudges the ball down to the boundary for four. To say McGrath isn't best pleased would be a rather large understatement. And to compound matters further, the boundary brings up England's 50. 51-2
"Even when I go to India or Pakistan, which I love, I don't touch the curries, don't even think about it."
Geoffrey Boycott when asked whether he indulged in the curry at lunchtime on TMS1340: And we're back, I can see this happening quite frequently in the next few hours. Clark finishes off his over - again halted during the fourth ball - with Collingwood carefully watching the ball through to Gilchrist's gloves. 46-2
1340: And we're back, I can see this happening quite frequently in the next few hours. Clark finishes off his over - again halted during the fourth ball - with Collingwood carefully watching the ball through to Gilchrist's gloves. 46-2
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep update: "Paul Collingwood, edging a textbook leg break to Gilchrist in the 46th over leaving England 88-4. You can just smell the optimism, can't you?" Simon Furnivall via email
RAIN INTERRUPTION
1329: And there off again, just as Stuart Clark was starting to work over Paul Collingwood with a round of probing, seaming deliveries, that little prayer in your bedroom for rain is answered as another shower hits the MCG. Clark had a particularly convincing lbw shout turned down by Rudi Koertzen, which was met with derision from the home fans when the replay is...replayed. 44-2
1326: If you're bricking it, it won't help your condition to learn that Strauss almost spooned a catch with a leading edge back to McGrath trying to pull him through mid-wicket. Fortunately it fell short of the tall fast bowler. 44-2
1321: WICKET England 44-2 (Bell 7) Oh dear, just after a text-book straight drive from Strauss for three, Bell is trapped lbw to Stuart Clark attempting to play a drive to a ball that really wasn't there to drive. Rudi Koertzen does his usual "Could've raised the Titanic by the time I put my finger up" routine. Paul Collingwood blocks his first ball. If you're tuning in for the first time, you may want to run back to the comfort of your bed. 1318: I wonder if Freddie's rubbing his ample stubble wondering whether he made the right choice this morning. This ball seaming all over the place, especially by RoboMcGrath. Hoggy would've loved these conditions, like Headingley in late April. Strauss picks up yet another single playing the prod down to fine leg, England's most productive shot today. 40-1
1313: Sharp intake of breath from everyone with healthy shade of sunburn at the MCG as Strauss plays one of those "why are you doing that?" drives to a tempting delivery outside off stump from Clark. Gilchrist concedes two byes with the addition of a neatly worked single on the leg side from Strauss. 40-1
1308: How does Glenn McGrath do it? He seems to put the ball on the same spot almost every delivery. No wonder he wants to retire - he's probably bored of his metronomic accuracy. He does Strauss with a beauty before the left-hander picks up a lucky single with a leg-side push which squirms its way to cover. 37-1
1304: 36-1 Momentary interruption as a flying piece of cardboard gets a great Aussie cheer after a comedy chase from Adam Gilchrist, who proceeds to whack McGrath on the backside with it. A darn sight more interesting than that over from Stuart Clark to Ian Bell, where absolutely nothing happened. 36-1
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep update: "Deep down I think Warney would rather like KP for his 700th victim, so I'll wager he get's his wish in the 41st over of play."Adrian (in a snowbound oilfield in Kazakhstan)
1300: Game on, the Australians stroll out after a round of whatever they eat at lunch these days as Glenn McGrath finishes off the 16th over, which was interrupted by rain, with two harmless leaves from Strauss. 36-1
Shane Warne 700th wicket sweep update: More emails nominating the "Shermanator" aka Ian Bell - Brian Heywood says the 41st over while Tim Hiley reckons in the 70th over (227/2).
Stephen Nash is going with Andrew Flintoff in the 84th over. "You heard it here first," Stephen says.
Meanwhile Rodney Ulyate in Johannesburg says "Warnie will go wicketless in this Test! And the next! Mawhahaha!"
"We can get man on the moon but we can't get the covers on in time." Henry Blofeld on TMS
LUNCH
1220: While the players flee the pitch for the safety of the changing rooms, the groundstaff are having trouble getting the covers on the pitch because of the swirling wind.
1218: McGrath finds the first semblance of swing with an lbw shout against Strauss, but umpire Dar shows the kind of indifference my two-and-a-half-year-old nephew had when he unwrapped his animal snaps card game Christmas present. A similar lbw shout to the first from McGrath again, but yet again no joy. And lo and behold, as soon as umpire Dar turns his back during the fifth ball of the over, down comes the rain in absolute droves. Play is suspended and lunch is taken. 36-1
1209: Ponting decides it's time for a bowling change and Stuart Clarke comes on to bowl his "I'm just like Glenn McGrath, me" brand of annoying, on-the-spot seamers. However he strays onto Bell's pads and the Warwickshire man clips another effortless stroke through mid-wicket for two. 36-1
"It's like a nice summer's day in Manchester."
Ian Chappell on TMS1209: Another easy-looking flick off the pads for a single from Strauss. Bell clips a classy shot through mid-wicket, collecting a polite round of applause from the 75,000 and counting crowd. 34-1
1204: Andrew Strauss isn't doing his best to calm the nerves, he twice finds an inside edge which ricochets fortuitously onto his pads. But a healthy paddle down to deep square leg scores the Middlesex man three runs. Bell adds a single off a Lee no-ball. 30-1
"There are serving light beer, the low alcohol stuff, here which wasn't a particularly popular decision."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS1157: McGrath at his magical best - an absolute ripper of a final delivery sees Ian Bell playing an optimistic drive, but the ball cuts back sharply and misses his bat by miles. Fancy footwork also prevented the ball from hitting his stumps after a back-foot defensive prod earlier in the over. 24-1
1153: WICKET England 24-1 (Cook 11)
Alastair Cook tries to get his bat out of the way of a Brett Lee delivery, but only succeeds in getting the faintest of touches on the toe of his bat to Adam Gilchrist, who celebrates in his typical - and annoying - "toss the ball up as high as you can" while adjusting his right glove. Ian Bell picks up a dodgy single on his first ball, having to dive to save his skin as Michael Clarke came bearing down from cover. If Clarke had hit, it would have been curtains for Belly. Sweep update: "I'm gonna be wildly optimistic and go for Panesar in the 132nd over! Can you tell I've had a few too many Christmas sherries?"
Craig in Worcestershire
1146: Wave the flags, sound the trumpets, Alastair Cook has hit the first boundary of the day off the fifth ball from Glenn McGrath's fifth over. England pick up an additional two runs when McGrath overstepped for a no-ball and a tidy deflection off his pads from Strauss. 22-0
"Pranav Soneji? who the hell is Pranav Soneji? Have Ben Dirs et al been blamed like Geraint Jones for England losing the Ashes? Pressure is on you Pranav to keep us awake otherwise I will be implementing a "Bring Back Ben Dirs" campaign."
John Wildman
1139: This is more like it, the openers double the score in one over. A seaming Lee delivery finds the edge of Strauss' bat, but the ball falls well short of Ricky Ponting at second slip, an indication of how slow this pitch is. Strauss hammers the very next ball through cover on the up - another shot that deserved a boundary but slowed up for three, with the bonus of an extra run as Lee had overstepped for a no-ball. Cook neatly turns a single round to fine leg, while Strauss plays and misses getting a little carried away with a fuller delivery. Strauss picks up another three with the final delivery of the over, a thick outside edge through gully. 16-0
1135: The Barmy Army finds their voice as McGrath continues to bowl around the wicket to Cook. Again, nothing of note and the two singles helps the score along to double figures. 8-0
1132: A nice on-drive from Strauss is well stopped by Lee, but the openers run through an easy single. Cook then plays a solid pull, similar to the two consecutive strokes he played in the first innings at Perth. The shot deserved four runs, but the damp outfield had other ideas and both men run through for three.6-0
1127: McGrath opts to go around the wicket to Cook but finds nothing of concern for the young Essex batsman, who turned 22 on Christmas Day. I hope you wished for a birthday triple century when you blew out those candles young man. 2-0
There's plenty of interest on Ian Bell for Soneji's "Who Wants To Be Warney's 700?" sweep. William Gallimore is going for the 24th over, while Joe from Worcester says 31 overs, while Alan in Scotland says "the Sherminator (Ian Bell's nickname from Shane Warne in honour of the geek from the American Pie films) 'lays some wood' on Shane Warne." Andrew Strauss also has his fanciers too, notably Hairy Scot (10th over, 4th ball) and Adam Dawes (16th over).
1123: Another Koertzen/Dar meeting, but yet again it's business as usual. Absolutely nothing of note from that over, except Brett Lee's dry cleaner will have a hell of a job getting a huge grass stain out of his trousers after diving to stop a Strauss block. 2-0
1118: It's not easy for Cook as McGrath does his usual getting nothing off me spiel. The last delivery sees Rudi Koertzen turn down a semi-useful lbw appeal. Umpires Koertzen and Aleem Dar meet for one of those "God it's grim out here" chats, before heading back to usual duties.2-0
1115: Wahey, Strauss is off the mark with a clip off legs in that David Gower shot-before-lunch down to fine leg nonchalance, which Cook repeats the very next ball. 2-0
"It looks a lovely pitch if you are going to hook or pull."
Geoffery Boycott on TMS1110: Glenn McGrath's very first delivery is heart-in-mouth time as Alastair Cook plays that familiar waft outside off stump shot which has led to his downfall in this series, but thankfully he misses it by a distance. Ball number four goes the same way too. Interesting to note that Gilchrist was taking the ball around his ankles, so the pitch isn't particularly quick. 0-0
"The ball finds its way to Andrew Symonds, with that crop of hair that would make any barber drool."
Henry Blofeld on TMS
1105: Brett Lee takes the new ball and bowls Strauss two belters, leaving the bat on a good length on off-stump. But the left-hander is still there furiously gardening outside off stump.0-0
1059: Shane Warne leads Australia out to a rapturous reception on his home ground - his last appearance at the awesome 100,000 capacity arena which was given a facelift for the 2006 Commonwealth Games. It looks absolutely incredible. England openers Alastair Cook and Andrew Strauss stroll out from a different gate to the Australians.
1045: And so wicket number 700 hunt starts - which England batsman will be the victim of Shane Warne's record-breaking haul? I'm going to start a sweep - email in your predictions of which England batsman and in which over the wicket will fall. The winner gets a once-in-a-lifetime BBC Sport goodie bag. Get predicting boys and girls...
"I'm not sure that's the right decision for England considering the pitch and the overhead conditions. I'm very surprised they didn't bowl first."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS Interesting email from Daniel Davison (his capitals):
"NOBODY CARES ABOUT CRICKET ANYMORE. A MINOR, COLONIAL SPORT IN WHICH ENGLAND ARE USELESS. DON'T DELUDE YOURSELF OVER THERE IN AUSTRALIA, BRITAIN IS ASLEEP AND NOT INTERESTED."
Good to see the spirit of Christmas is alive and well in the Davison household.
1036: "There is no doubt there will be some assistance for our faster bowlers. The crowd will be hoping that I open the bowling with Shane."
Australia captain Ricky Ponting
"It's cold - and I mean cold - it's about 14 or 15 degrees here and we had hail here yesterday."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS1030 Andrew Flintoff wins the toss and England will bat first under cloud. Interesting, considering the overhead conditions which will light up the eyes of the three Australian seamers.
"The Aussies may well have claimed the Ashes already, but I'm really looking forward to this. Hope England can put on 'a good show' with no more rain delays."
Robin McKay, Paisley, Scotland
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1019: The toss has been scheduled for 1030, with play starting at 1100. Umpire Rudi Koertzen has confirmed the time lost this morning will be made up in the evening session of play.
"You can all four seasons in one day here."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS1008: Quelle surprise, the Australians have kept the same side that did the honours in Perth.
"All hail to the Heavens, England saved from the whitewash by rain."
Dave O'Flanagan
1004: News - the toss has been delayed because of rain. There is a heavy cloud covering and the covers are on.
1001: Oooh hello, there has been three days of rain in Melbourne and snow reported in the hills. No this isn't Chester-le-Street in early April, it's the Boxing Day Test at the MCG. Come on Harmy, it's just like home...
0953: Yet another change in the BBC Sport Interactive commentary team. While the rest of the country lobs turkey bones at the telly watching Little Britain, I have the joyous honour of reporting England's (mis)fortunes to the world. I hope my installment in the hotseat is more productive than my two predecessors Dirsy and Stevo, whose record of played three lost three is enough to make me clear my desk and go home.
0946: I hope Santa has been particularly generous with the England boys over in not-so-sunny Melbourne, according to the BBC Weather website.
It's bad enough going into the fourth Test 3-0 down, but when you add 100,000 people into the mixer at the MCG, Freddie and the boys could be in for a bruising on Boxing Day.
England team: Strauss, Cook, Bell, Collingwood, Pietersen, Flintoff(capt), Read (wkt), Mahmood, Harmison, Hoggard, Panesar
0926: Merry Christmas Geraint, now give your orange keeping gloves to Ready. TMS bloggers rejoice, see, the England management eventually listen. Poor Geraint Jones, victim to the most embarrassing dismissal of the Ashes series so far in the second innings in Perth. Read, the best keeper in the country, averaged 42 with the bat against Pakistan last summer. Can't argue with those stats.
Interesting to see Saj Mahmood retains his place in the XI. Mind you, the cupboard isn't exactly brimming with zippy pacers at the moment.
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