By Jonathan Stevenson

606: DEBATE Discuss Sunday's games on 606

e-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with 'For Stevo' in the subject) or use 606 or text 81111

So that was my starter for 10, and yours too. At 1700 BST comes the main course, in the shape of Graeme Smith's South Africa taking on Paul Collingwood's England. You would massively hope that one will be a great deal closer than this was.

I'm now going to, in this order: try to walk again, go to the toilet and pop into the canteen for some brilliant BBC grub. Join me soon. In the meantime, if you like football, check out my colleague Caroline Cheese's live updates ahead of Man City v Aston Villa. Just don't forget to come back, OK?

13.5 overs: Aus 124-1 AUSTRALIA WIN BY NINE WICKETS Punter makes us wait (he obviously doesn't know how much I need a toilet break), but the Aussies get there when the captain pulls a shot into the leg side for a couple. Haydo ends 73 not out from 48 balls. Not sure what I can add, really. Job done.

13th over Aus 121-1: Kapali continues his leg spin and Haydo sends the ball about 20 rows back with a beautifully straight lofted drive. Haydo then drills through the covers for four and the Aussies now need just three to win.

12th over Aus 107-1: Punter takes a couple of singles and the Aussies carry on their relentless march towards victory.

12th over Aus 104-1 WICKET! Gilchrist run out (Saqibul) 43: The crowd are so bored they've started a Mexican wave. Gilly stops them in their tracks by dancing down the track and hammering Razzak into the stands for six big ones. He then takes on a second run when there isn't one and is run out by about two inches.

11th over Aus 97-0: To be honest, even Gilly and Haydo look bored now. Kapali floats up some tweakers and the Aussies can barely even be bothered to throw bat at them. Until Haydo smashes him back down the ground for four, that is.

10th over Aus 88-0: Haydo gets to fifty in double-quick time off Razzak, his second in the Twenty20 format. The scoring has slowed down, but it won't last too much longer, this one. South Africa v England will be on soon.

9th over Aus 86-0: Saqibul is lofted down the ground for six over long-on by Gilly, lovely timing by one of the world's greatest-ever cricketers. There really is the element of a benefit match about this one now.

"I want to know if the Aussies' new kit, the sack with three holes cut out for head and arms, was a rip-off from Bill and Ben?"
Sean, Dubai, via TMS

8th over Aus 75-0: Gilly pounds Razzak into the leg-side crowd once more for another monster six. This is about as boring as I could imagine Twenty20 ever being. I'm not blaming Australia. It's just an enormous mis-match.

7th over Aus 66-0: Saqibul Hasan gets in the mixer and he's afforded some respect in ones and twos. Four off the over, good work lad.

6th over Aus 62-0: Abdur Razzak is on and Haydo crunches him through the offside for four. Razzak then commits a heinous crime - the spinner bowls a no-ball at Gilchrist. Gilly takes advantage of the free hit by smashing him into the mid-wicket crowd, a massive six that one. Schoolboy error, to be fair.

"Guess you better not post this, unless you want more grief. Don't want you being accused of favouritism. Save that for your phone-in competitions. Oh and mum says keep moving your legs, don't want you dying of DVT."
Damian, via TMS

I'm gonna get hammered for that now mate. Cheers. Did make me laugh though, and that's the key. Tell mum to stop fussing and get involved.

5th over Aus 49-0: Gilly gets in on the act by hammering one through point for four, before Hayden fairly clubs Mashro back past him for four more. Haydo even nicks a single off the last ball of the over - he's in the mood for more.

"Yes my username is brit_turned_aussie. I chose it because of the 5-0 Ashes whitewash."
Regards, Brit_Turned_Aussie via TMS

Well I never. That is the most unpatriotic thing I've ever seen. What a shambles.

4th over Aus 39-0: Massive shout for LBW from Rasel as Haydo misses a straight one. Not out. Next ball, Haydo bashes a decent-looking ball miles into the crowd on the leg side. He helps the last one on its way for four behind square off his legs. Cruising, the Aussies.

"It's a benefit match this, it's the Hayden benefit. He's going to go for everything, it'll either go for four or he'll get out."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

3rd over Aus 28-0: Gilly hands Haydo the strike with a single and the brutish opener creams Mashro first through the covers and then through mid-wicket for two bludgeoning fours. Haydo then walks down the pitch and misses with an ugly slog, before clipping the last ball off his pads for four. Looks like England have played him into form, anyway.

2nd over Aus 15-0: Syed Rasel lumbers to the wicket and there are three singles off the first half of the over. Haydo then lifts him over mid-on for four in typically dismissive fashion. Off the last ball, Haydo swats Rasel off his legs into the crowd at square leg.

1st over Aus 1-0: Mashrafe strolls in and Gilchrist, strangely, blocks the first two. The third beats him all ends up and the fourth is dropped by Kapali at slip after a wild slash. Haydo doesn't fare much better, driving and missing the last ball of a brilliant over from Mashro.

"Is seeing your nephew all that? He sounds like a party pooper."
Nadia, via TMS

He'd better not be, Nadia. It's his first birthday party next week. I'm hoping he'll get involved big time. Talking, walking - it might all be happening.

The Bangla boys are out into the field already. I'll leave using my legs until the end of the innings. Which might not be very long.

"The only thing I can say about the Aussie kit is that I am glad it wasn't around in the 80s or 90s. Could you imaging Arjuna Ranatunga, Mike Gatting or Merv Hughes running around in that strip? Not exactly a vision that evokes the virtues of elite professional sportism."
Darren, London via TMS

"Fantastic hat-trick from Lee - great bowling. Bracken was very unlucky not to get one himself."
brit_turned_aussie, on 606

Brit turned Aussie???!!!!

"I was gonna get involved, but your 51-week-old nephew woke up and demanded lunch. I've missed half the match already! This Twenty20 is too quick. Bring back the five-day game."
My brother, via text

Guys - don't give me grief for publishing my brother, OK? If I don't, he won't let me see my nephew. Honest.

20th over Ban 123-8: A pretty poor end to a pretty poor innings, but Bracken just fails to equal Lee's hat-trick achievement as Mushfiqur Rahim gets bat on a straight one. Surely the question is how long will it take Haydo, Gilly and the boys to knock these off?

19.4 overs Ban 120-8 WICKET Reza c Hussey b Bracken 2: Next ball and Reza's the guy who falls, Bracken getting himself on a hat-trick as Michael Hussey takes a good catch on the long-on boundary.

19.3 overs Ban 120-7 WICKET Aftab c Hodge b Bracken 31: Bracken bowls the "death" over, though it's not exactly pressure o'clock for the Australia. Brad Hodge takes a good catch in the deep as Aftab goes for a maximum at cow corner.

19th over Ban 119-6: Lee no-balls again, but even the free hits aren't going to the boundary. Farhad Reza swings at a couple, but to not much avail.

"I think you should publish Louise's emails purely because she's a female with a beautiful name."
Michael, Merseyside

I can't condone that sort of sexism, Michael. I really can't. Hang your head in shame. (Also, sorry for spelling your name wrong, Louise - Stevu)

18th over Ban 114-6: My editor tells me Lee already has a World Cup hat-trick, against Kenya in 2003. Great editing from Paul, that. "He hasn't got one in a Test match, though," Paul adds. Stuart Clark is back on and is as difficult to get away as ever.

"I suppose there is some consolation that even if they win the tournament they will still look absurd, in the true Aussie-fashion tradition."
Rob Webber, London via TMS

17th over Ban 111-6: Lee kind of spoils the over by bowling a no-ball and conceding two from the free hit. In fairness, he'd probably have taken that if it meant a hat-trick. Good work Bing, as his team-mates call him.

16.5 overs Ban 108-6 WICKET Alok Kapali LBW b Lee 0: He's only gone and done it, hasn't he? Full and staight, poor Alok misses it and it's knocking over off, middle, leg and any other stump you'd care to mention. Great bowling, great hat-trick.

16.4 overs Ban 108-5 WICKET Mashrafe b Lee 0: I didn't even have time to come up with a silly nickname. Lee yorks Mashrafe first ball and he's on a hat-trick, which would be the first in World Twenty20 history. Stay tuned...

16.3 overs Ban 108-4 WICKET Saqibul c Gilchrist b Lee 16: Lee steams back in and Aftab gives himself some room and hammers him into the offside for four. He then carts him over mid-wicket, the ball plugs again and he picks up one - shocking running. Saqibul then gets a snick and Gilly snaffles, no problem.

16th over Ban 103-3: Saqibul hammers Michael Clarke into the stand over mid-wicket, the first maximum of the innings and proper occasion for the dancers to get involved. Clarke responds with a full toss, which goes in exactly the same place, just 20 yards less in length for four.

"They haven't got a cat in hell's chance of getting a reasonable total here."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

15th over Ban 91-3: Johnson is back and runs are still massively hard to come by. In fact, just four from the over. Not what the doctor ordered. Unless the doctor was Australian, perhaps. Flying doctor, maybe?

"So Dan gets his first email published - I have sent several without sucess. I did once have an online arguement with Janice Long though."
Louise, Manchester via TMS inbox

Do go on, Louise...

14th over Ban 87-3: Saqibul Hasan strides out and hooks Clark in front of his face just for a single. Some heavy-looking shots are being played, but just seven boundaries so far and the Aussies are squeezing the life out of this one. I've got 121 in our office sweep. Rubbishly, so have two others. The tiebreaker is sixes - I've plumped for four. What a waste of a quid.

14th over Ban 82-3 WICKET! Ashraful c Symonds b Clark 7: Disaster for the Tigers as they lose their best player cheaply. Stuart Clark strikes with his first ball back as Ash is caught in the deep trying to up the rate.

"I think the Bangladesh boys want to watch Sven and his boys later, it seems they want Punter to knock off the runs in super quick time!"
Knowlesy, via TMS inbox

13th over Ban 82-2: Johnson back on as Punter rotates more than Rafa Benitez. Aftab slices a single before Ash cracks a glorious shot through the gully area for four. Ash then sends one high, high, high into the leg side, and it lands... about two feet away from Punter, MC and Johnson.

12th over Ban 73-2: Big partnership for Bangladesh now with Ashraful joining Aftab. These two class players need to give their team a fighting chance by upping the rate. Bracken is back on and Aftab cleverly gets down on one knee and helps the ball on its way off his legs for four. Over on 606, my editor is backing my so far ridiculous use of nicknames. For anyone who doesn't like them, this could be bad news for the rest of the day.

"I'm new to this 'e-mail tms' lark although I have wanted to risk it on many occasions because all the e-mail's you guys show (well a good 70%) make me chuckle. I fear TMS its some sacred club where once you have joined you may never be able to leave. I even looked at the Facebook group and decided that since I hadn't had an e-mail displayed (let alone sent one in), joining would have been a bit hypocritical. Bored of rambling but feeling better and about to join the Facebook group."
Dan, via TMS

Join away, Dan. You've earned it.

11th over Ban 65-2 WICKET! Tamim c Ponting b Clarke 32: Tamim never looked comfortable and he eventually just lofts Clarke into the Cape Town sky. It doesn't even get beyond the circle and Punter takes a pretty easy catch.

10th over Ban 63-1: Aftab plays a reverse sweep off Symonds that plugs so badly in the outfield it goes backwards. A few singles, but the Tigers need to step this up in a massive way.

9th over Ban 57-1: Michael Clarke is in the mixer now with his left-arm tweakers and he sloppily concedes four wides, which gets the Bangladesh contingent in the crowd going. Two more wides and Gilly can't take anything at the moment. Aftab then launches MC into deep mid-wicket, where Brett Lee just fails to take what would have been a brilliant diving catch.

8th over Ban 44-1: Andrew Symonds comes on and Aftab Ahmed gets his reverse sweep out, though for no reward. Hopefully, Aftab can get this scorecard going - if they don't step this up, Australia will knock the runs off in about three overs.

7th over Ban 40-1 WICKET! Nazimuddin c Ponting b Johnson 11: Johnson induces an outside edge from Tamim, but the ball flies past Gilly's left hand and brings up a boundary. Johnson then hits Mudders on the helmet before straining a little bit too much and no-balling twice. From two free hits, Tamim swings and misses both times. Mudders then slaps Johnson straight to Ponting at short-cover, who takes it at the second attempt.

"That's rubbish from Tamim. My mum would say that's rubbish and I'm saying that's rubbish."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

6th over Ban 31-0: Sorry to say it, but Tamim looks a bit out of his league here, Bangladesh. He plays three wild shots off Clark and doesn't get anywhere near any of them. Mudders shows him how it's done, launching SC over point for a one-bounce four. Glorious, but not enough yet.

"Bangladesh should go after Australia like they did to South Africa otherwise they have no hope of winning."
legendarylfcsam on 606

5th over Ban 25-0: Mitchell Johnson replaces Lee and Tamim plays and misses. He is clearly boring himself now so he slaps Johnson into the offside - that must have gone a mile in the air, but lands safely and they pick up a couple. Next up, Tamim clips one in the air off his legs for four, cracking shot. Very wristy, one must say.

"You will need some teeth rotting sugary sweets to get you through two matches. Go for a retro style sweet, mind you I recall a shopkeeper refusing to sell Curly Wurlys as he thought they were "too elaborate"."
Barry, France via TMS inbox

4th over Ban 18-0: Glenn McGrath clone Stuart Clark is on and he's immediately probing away in the corridor of uncertainty. Sometimes I'm a bit uncertain about the corridor outside my office. It's got a fake running track instead of your standard laminate wood flooring or carpet. Is that cheesy or actually quite cool?

"Is it just me or has Naz yet to make up his mind, along with every other commentator, whether one should go for broke or play carefully in this particular sporting endeavor? Every team's strategy seems to be too fast or too slow."
Abid Vali, Sharjah via TMS inbox

3rd over Ban 16-0: Remarkably, Mudders gloves an attempted cut shot that clips his gloves and flies between Adam Gilchrist and first slip Matty Hayden for four. From a free hit, Mudders can only muster one, but Tamim beautifully flicks the last ball of the over off his pads for four.

2nd over Ban 5-0: It's Nathan Bracken's turn and my word does this boy know how to disguise a slower ball. Nazimuddin finally faces his first ball after Tamim tucks away a single and Mudders is quickly off the mark too. Australia are all over them in the field.

BANTER. ME. UP.

1st over Ban 2-0: Good pace early doors from the big blond unit, causing Tamim some difficulties. The batter responds by moving about four feet outside leg stump to create some room - Lee bangs down a ludicrously high bouncer he's wided for.

1258: The players are out and it's going to be speed's Brett Lee to open up.

"I've been coming to Cape Town for 40-odd years and this is a daft time to be playing cricket here. It'll be warmer in England than it is here - does that make people back home feel better?"
Geoff Boycott on TMS

1251: The teams are in and both are unchanged:
Australia: Adam Gilchrist, Matthew Hayden, Ricky Ponting, Andrew Symonds, Michael Hussey, Brad Hodge, Michael Clarke, Brett Lee, Mitchell Johnson, Nathan Bracken, Stuart Clark.
Bangladesh: Tamim Iqbal, Nazimuddin, Aftab Ahmed, Mohammad Ashraful, Saqibul Hasan, Alok Kapali, Farhad Reza, Mushfiqur Rahim, Mashrafe Mortaza, Syed Rasel, Abdur Razzak.

1241: The toss: Australia have won it and are going to bowl at Bangladesh. "I think 180 is a good total on this pitch," says Ricky Ponting. "We have good spinners and later on they could do something," says Mohammad Ashraful.

1237: Quick turnaround for the Tigers after their defeat by South Africa last night in the meaningless group game. The Aussies have been able to put their collective feet up for two days after battering the Poms. You sense they want this trophy now. The smiles have gone, the intensity is back.

1230: I know you're all bored of hearing this, but I'm gonna say it anyway because it comes from the heart: I need you today. I need your banter to keep a smile on my face, to make me chuckle, to help make this clocker as lively and as upbeat as you, the public, deserve. Help me to help you. Go on. It'll be brilliant.

1225: After their rude awakening against Zimbabwe last week, Australia finally arrived at this particular party in some style by hammering England on Friday. Bangladesh have already surpassed most people's expectations by dumping out West Indies. But don't expect another massive shock in Cape Town today.

1217: How rude of me. I haven't even mentioned that I'm in the chair for Australia v Bangladesh. And South Africa v England, which gets under way at 1700 BST. Eight hours of clockwatching awaits. To be honest, I don't much care for fresh air, food or moving my limbs anyway.

1215: Good afternoon everyone, welcome to live updates of the second game of the day from the Super Eights stage of the World Twenty20 in South Africa.

Cracking start for New Zealand and a cracking start to the day by my colleague and your friend Paul "Fletch" Fletcher on New Zealand v India. You know, it's not easy doing one of these at joke o'clock on a Sunday. And I've heard he might not be a morning person, too. Top effort.