CrofterBill

Well that was all a bit breezy round the nether regions wasnt it?
With me halfway through the new fencing and all that, had to abandon ship and wait for it all to pass. I thought a big well done to the Clansman captain and crew for making the effort to help get my gravy browning rushed through. I hope its a sign of the times and that my specially imported strawberrys from the southern slopes of upper Nepal will still get through in much the same way.
Im not into all this food miles stuff, it travels all over the hillside with me so a few more extra miles getting it into my stomach wont matter will it?
Someone told me that xmas is coming soon .... dont go there bah humbug!!
Im still waiting for the final designs on the interior decor in the sauna/ steamrooms and then after my case comes before the Fiscal in Stornaway I may be able to proceed with the planning application.
Its the individual massage rooms that seem to exercise the various officialdoms minds. .......... and I thought it would all be so simple !!
Putting the tidal turbines in the causeway has suddenly roused some sleeping minds ... now its not a good idea.
Two wind turbines hidden behind Theiseabhal Mor may be a good starter and free electricity for everyone when they are paid for .... so in 2030 its free electricity then !!!! what a bargain!!
Well must get on, things to do and people to annoy
cheery bye

.... and another thing.
Remember my ramblings many moons ago about "see ya lata" and "catch ya lata" .... well the boy came out with a priceless gem yesterday.
I asked him how he was and his reply was "I'm good" -- what kind of an answer is that?
"I'm well" or " not so bad" are both acceptable -- but "I'm good".
I remonstrated with him -- reminding him that he better be good or fear the worst from me.
He hung up after saying he would call back at the weekend.
Ach well.

Ok I know I havnt been as prolific as I should have been but ... other things you understand.
Ive had to return the plans several times for the Sauna, Steam rooms and multifunctional dining cum therapy room. I wonder whether I havnt bitten off more than I can chew. (Dining room pun)
I may need some advice from the more vocal ladies who in the past have offerred tea and scones, but who may now be called upon to get into the nitty gritty of interior design.
I have to say that nitty gritty and gloss paint do not mix.
I shall return when I have swept out the bunker and relaid the curling lino.

I popped my head out of the bunker to see whats to do.
The boy and I had a great Xmas, the food was good, the dram was good and the weather was ... well ... you cant have everything ... can you?
I havnt got the new dog yet, maybe later on this year .... perhaps.
It was almost spring, well thats how it felt anyways.
I shall have to carefully consider the planning application for the up-market sauna and health spa. After the Planning Depts rude response - alleging that my ideas may well be illegal. I shall have to consider taking on a Consultant - someone fit, active, nubile and under 40 - someone who knows about these things.
We need a new "industry" to drag in the foreign visitors and treat them to some steam treatment.
I am considering some new tours this year to see the proposed windfarm site and of course the turbine house in the new re-instated causeway.
All at very modest cost to visitors, I'll even take those Euro thingy's as well as Dollars.
I must get on - chat soon perhaps.

......So they say, well, well I would never have guessed.
My memory span doesnt go back to the start of the Xmas advertising splurge.
.... where was I? ---- Oh yes Xmas.
Have you got the Governments Xmas gift yet? I have and Ive salted it away so I can pay the electric in February.
My its been cold and windy hasnt it?
.... where was I? --- Oh yes Xmas.
I told Angus I had a big bird in the freezer and his reply was unprintable on these pages. Before he twigged it was a Turkey and not Mhairi from the other place, he gave me some very friendly advice about stuffing.
I must admit he had me totally confused for 10 mins or so, but when we had straightened out our misunderstanding he laughed and had to have another top-up of his dram.
.... where was I? ---Oh yes Xmas.
Alec was saying that i hadnt sent out any Xmas cards this year and I told him I had. He said I hadnt and pointed to the pile of cards on the chest of drawers. Ach well I'll post them soon.
Ive changed the car the other was giving me a headache with the not starting and the not stopping was even scarier.
The boys going to join me for the Turkey and heres fingers crossed we get enough electricity to cook the damned thing. Otherwise it will be a boiled ham dinner like a couple of years ago.
Minced pies are something I love and he's bringing a couple of box's.
Aunt Aggie has baked me the best Xmas cake in the whole universe, I had a wee taster the other night with some dubious sherry I had left from last year.
Quality Street it said on the tin and theres me thinking Aggie had bought me sweeties and baked no cake this year. Good job I was tempted for a sweetie otherwise the cake may have been discovered too late.
.... where was I? ---- Oh yes Xmas.
I will have to throw the creels and rope out of the spare bedroom so the boy has a bed to sleep in, I'm sure he wont mind the smell of the sea in the room.
Did I say the sea? - ach well.
I wish you all the very best for Xmas and the New Year, and as long as I see both through I shall be a happy man.

A crowded East beach


This of course can be equally matched by an equally crowded West beach



.... and can't we put a "proper" fence round this memorial



When are we going to get the erosion problem sorted once and for all?
Perhaps we should get a daughter of Marion of the Heads to rule out here, then things might happen!!

Well the boy did me proud, a flight, a room, food and all the wine I could drink - well almost - and me a small drinker too.
Those Greeks have got the measure of this work - life ballance off to a T.
Before the sun gets too hot a quick look at the sheep and goats then inside for a quick snooze. Then food and drink, then perhaps another snooze and then, without rushing or fretting, another look at the stock.
Nothing too taxing you understand, all conducted at a gentle pace.
They have one or two good tales to tell as well - not unlike our friends over there on the mainland with the Loch Ness thingy.
The Caves of Zeus and a 2000 year old tree where Zeus and his girlfriend were caught ..... well you know the thing. I couldnt see any carving on the tree, you know the sort of thing I mean, Zeus loves Europa 2000BC.
Nothing - not even a heart carved on the tree.
An old boy sat in a nearby taverna asked me in broken English ( his English was better than my Greek) when he knew where I was from, "Didnt I have some story about a monster from the deep, which brought coach loads of people to look?".
He laughed and sipped another sip of his Raki - that stuff would strip the paint off an old chair leg.
I did wonder whether it also had something to do with the incredible number of lines on his face. I would never know the answer to that one, the guide blew his whistle and we all climbed back on the coach to see yet more antiquities - or were they?

Now that we have the political unpleasantness out of the way how about a few subjects for discussion.
Why is it that everything I buy costs upwards of 20% more than my Aunt Aggie can get it for in Glasgy, and almost 30% more than my cousin Shelagh can get it for in the south.
Not that my Aunt Aggie is after buying engine parts and the like, but you know what I mean.
Its discrimination at its best and worst.
The heavier "it" is the more the discrimination, so if we were going to ship Shelagh anywheres, we would need a lottery win for sure.
You remember the lamb stew and dumplings?, well Shelagh knows just how good dumplings are for sure. Shelagh looks in a mirror and she knows all about Weight Watchers. I love her and she loves me, I wouldnt change her nor her me, and if you were ever going to cuddle a lady then Shelagh's your girl, theres lots to cuddle there.
Consider this if you will - if you bought something and you carried it in a suitcase or a box with a handle on it as luggage, then providing two of you could lift it, it wouldnt cost you anything extra.
If you send "it" whatever "it" is on its own, then it will cost you an arm and a leg.

Second topic is Red Diesel, why are we still under threat from the "Johnny Foreigners" to stop our Red Diesel supplies.
If this isnt another reason to cast off from the rest of mainland Europe I dont know what is.
Mind your own business is my advice to the rest of them.
What price ferry tickets, fish and lamb stew then eh? go on answer that one!!

Lastly business enterprise. Out here there isnt any. Two words that do not sit together even when forced to by others.
The reason I bring this up is, the idea of a sauna suite and massage rooms in a tin shed, sorry Jill, a luxory appartment block, sea facing, with a mountain backdrop.
HIE and cne-siar fell off their collective chairs and called the Police when I asked the question. They thought it was a drop dead bad idea for a seedy ..... you know what.
So much for Business Enterprise. ......... or is it - my next idea was something to do with my old potato peelings and an old boy from County Wexford was telling me that they make a wonderful after dinner Aperitif out there and it has some marvelous medicinal actions.
Sounds good to me boys and girls - what do you think

Stand on a windswept beach, either the East or West beaches and hear precisely nothing except the wind.
Walk on the sand and listen to the tranquility of your own footsteps.
Turn round and watch as they disappear as the sea rolls in.
Only a few people can experience this delight on a daily basis and we are very careful to only share this delight with a few people.
Its not that we are a possesive lot, its not that we are secretive, its just that it wouldnt be like this if we wernt as careful as we are.
Over a thousand species of wild flowers on Barra and Vatersay, look at them, enjoy their perfume, marvel at their beauty, but leave them to grow where nature planted them.
On the boat the other day a bumble bee came to talk to me. He circled me first then landed on the cabin top, rested and then droned away towards the shore, I hardly had chance to wish him well.
Where else would birds land on the boat while humans are there and chatter away to you, then fly off unharmed and unphased.
People elsewhere talk a good talk, speak a good tale, but dont actually have a clue about a whole pattern of life and nature that has nothing to do with trade, commerce or anything other than what you see, hear and smell.
There are very very few bad smells in nature, think about it.

What does this have to do with my previous post?

Its good to laugh, its good to have fun and according to some, smutty fun, although you'll find it was just closer to nature than the PC brigade can often deal with.
There are too many serious faces I see every week.
People who dont look at what surrounds them.
They dont look at the barren beauty that doesnt hide itself away.
Nature will bring you rewards that 'things' never will.
Talking about what we have to the Press wont do anything except increase some newspapers circulation.
Im more concerned with my own circulation than that of the press.

HOWEVER what about a new business on Vatersay offering stress councilling(no drugs involved), solitude(just a few of us in a new tin shed somewheres), good food (remember the lamb stew), painting (the shed doors), wild flower drawing(Bluebell wheres the pencil), bird watching( You Tiree men should get out more), boat mending (where did I put that spanner).
I shall be pleased to see what you ladies and the odd gentleman can come up with over the next week or so.
I have to warn you that the PC brigade will be watching (I dont mean moderator Ann you understand) so keep it wholesome and above board.
All personal details sent to me will be kept strictly in accordance with the data protection act in my wee black book under the mattress.
Come on now!

A passing visitor asked me(yes theyve started) - do you live here?
I was tempted to ask one of the following - do i look like I just dropped in from Mars, or, who me, no I flew in on my little jet and changed into these rags and started painting a strangers fence.
Sorry for the rant.

The boat engine is running rough again I hope its not bad news ahead.
Frejya has put a X in the no publicity box so dont ask, but she is doing well although the vet is going to check her hearing she seems ok.

Bluebell and Carol your just starting to annoy me now.
Four pots of tea down the drain and still no sign of you, the piece has gone stale and Im beginning to be past my best waiting for you.
My ginger nuts are all soggy again and the digestives wont stand more than a very quick dip.
Its not worth the effort rushing to the Coop if your not going to make the effort.

Made a lovely lamb stew, onions carrots sliced potato's.
Casseroled just like my ladys - done slowly with care.