Soldier Record

Dear Grandpa

you were there one second then there was an explosion and you were gone

I wish I could write an eloquent eulogy about your brave and heroic exploits on foreign soil but the truth is I know very little about you. You were conscripted into a war you didn't want to go to. I try to imagine what that final parting from your family must have been like. You have left me with so many questions that remain unanswered. You didn't know when you left that your wife Martha was with child. I know you never got to meet Mum but at least you did receive the news she had been born. She was only nine days old when you were blown up at Paschendaele. Your friend was talking to you at the time. Afterwards he said "you were there one second then there was an explosion and you were gone". At least they must have found something of you to put into the ground at Tyne Cot. It was very emotional when my wife and I visited your grave and placed a wreath. Seeing so many endless rows of white headstones. The majority had the epitaph 'name unknown'. At least you are in a marked grave and for that I am thankful.

It was a very difficult time for the family after you had gone. Bringing up two children with no father was far from easy. There were no social services in those days. Ernest and Mum were picked on by the other children at school because they were different; they didn't have a father. Mum's special day of the year was always 11th November. That was the day she stood up before the rest of the class and recited a poem. Even at 91 she still remembers the words "In Flanders fields the poppies blow" She was so proud of you. In later life Mum came to hate remembrance, all the media hype treating it with little more respect than a circus. Yes there were things she wanted to remember but also there were things she wanted to forget.

When grandma died in 1971 there was a box of letters tied in a ribbon. Mum read them all, most related to every day trivia especially about how Ernest was growing up. In one letter Martha had mentioned a complaining remark from a neighbour. Your response was "since I have been here I have found out what hell is like. When I come home I will never complain about anything ever again". All you ever wanted to do was to come home to your family and the farm life you loved.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I do not need a special day or a flower to remember you. I think of you from time to time often when I least expect. Forever you are in my heart. I love you the grandpa that I never knew and thank you for your part in making me who I am today.

Your loving grandson Alan