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An Unofficial Friendship Caught in the Soho pub bombing in London in April 1999, Gary Reid sustained serious injuries. Gary, who is gay, is still in a wheelchair, and unable to return to work as a psychiatric nurse. Instead, he has had to rely heavily on the support of friends and family as well as the help of professionals. One such professional is Rosemary Drewery a Metropolitan Police Family Liaison Officer. Her police role is officially at an end now, but the two have remained close friends as reporter, Philippa Budgen found when she visited Gary in his specially adapted flat. "My injuries made it hard for people to recognise me," says Gary "The only way they could identify me was by my tattoo. My dad described me as looking like something out of a monster movie." Gary was in intensive care in a coma for several weeks. He had to have one leg amputated below the knee, his arm was shattered and his eardrum perforated. Rosemary had seen Gary many times before he saw her, "He seemed to lie there forever," she says. "At times we didn't think we'd see him on the next visit. He was covered in bandages. My first impression was that he was a middle-aged man with a big round face." Gary first saw Rosemary as she sat talking with another patient, "I remember thinking what an attractive looking woman - not at all my idea then of the police," says Gary. "One day she visited in her uniform. It didn't look like her at all! She was wearing men's shoes! 'For God's sake!' I said 'What are they!'" Gary and Rosemary got on from the start. Their relationship was based then on Rosemary's work as a Family Liaison Officer. An important part of this was to prepare Gary for his time in court. "Things would come out at the trial which might have upset him," says Rosemary. "I wanted to be there to support him." It was an important time for Gary too, "Being in court was part of the process of taking away the feeling of 'Why me?'. And I wanted to see what type of a guy he was. Rosemary was like my big sister guiding me through the reporters literally chasing us down the street. I felt protected by her." Normally a police Family Liaison Officer would close the relationship with the person or fmaily after they'd supported them through the trauma and helped them through the trial. But Rosemary and Gary have kept in contact, "I see Gary now purely as a friend, almost like a brother, a very special one, because of what and who he is," says Rosemary. "I'll never stop doing that." Gary too, is glad to keep contact with Rosemary. Not surprisingly it has taken time to rebuild his self-confidence after the bombing, "I could hardly bear to look at myself. I didn't see how other people could. Rosemary never flinched from looking at anything. That was important to me. I had chunks out of the back of my head, my hair was burnt off and I was told it wouldn't grow back. Rosemary would say, "Don't worry, sweetheart. You've got a lovely shaped skull!" Gary sees the fact that he is gay as a helpful element in their friendship, "It always makes it more uncomplicated with an attractive woman. I can also explain how men think which seems to have helped her." When Rosemary's mother was seriously ill, it was to Gary Rosemary turned for support, "As a police officer, I can cope with whatever I have to deal with," she explains. "This was personal and I couldn't cope. I'd ring Gary for a chat, a few kind words - but it was enough to carry on. I get a lot from Gary's strong outlook on life." Aware that this could all sound like "a mutual admiration society", Gary adds, "It's a real, warts and all friendship. Rosemary's seen me when I was very unsure of myself - but she's seen my strengths too. We'll always be in contact, and there for each other." If you'd like to respond with your thoughts, or to tell us about a similar experience, please tell us about it in the Home Truths message boards. We'd like to hear from you.  | |
