Never mind all these bureaucrats talking about abolishing imperial measurements in favour of metrification. Has anybody else noticed that everything seems to be measured in the size of a match-head, double-decker buses, fully grown bull elephants, Olympic sized swimming pools, and Wales?

I certainly don't remember being taught any of these at school, but do cause great merriment in our household.

I work in a shoe shop and find my customers quite amusing when they say "oh, no this size six is too small", to which I reply, "Would you like a size seven?"

"No, I've always been a size six. It's these strange continental sizes." Strange continental sizes? Would this fall under imperial or metric?