Colin and his wife Marion had been married for 10 years when Colin began to develop agoraphobia. As Marion's health failed and she stayed at home, Colin got used to her being there, to such an extent that he began to develop monophobia - a fear of being alone... Colin had been building his confidence up to overcome agoraphobia, "The first step might be going to the first lamp-post outside my house." he says, "Then the next and so on. The anxiety slowly reduces as you do it more frequently, then you just move forward." At that stage, Colin didn't realise that as he overcame agoraphobia he became more and more dependent on Marion. At one time, Marion even had to accompany him to work, "I sat outside his office day after day for months." Fortunately for Colin, his work in the Health Service meant he was with people who understood his problem and supported him through the difficult time.
The couple's grown-up son, found it hard to understand his father's illness. Friends, too found it difficult, and many fell away from the couple in the early days of Colin's dependency on his wife. Colin was very open about what was happening, but Marion found it harder to cope, "I felt embarrassed most of the time. I used to get very cross with him. Although I might shout at him, no-one asks to be ill in whatever form." Colin was less aware of the difficulties he was causing his wife, "It never occurred to me that I was creating another problem. We just did things together like a normal couple."
Part of Colin's therapy for monophobia involved taking a bus ride on his own, "I used to start off one stop at a time, with Marion behind in the car where I could still see her."
Marion's heart condition, which she'd had most of her life, eventually forced her to give up work. "It was a Catch 22 situation," says Colin, "After she'd had heart operation, I felt I wanted to be near her in order to look after her, which resulted in her having to come everywhere I went."
At times Marion felt resentful of Colin's continuous need for her, "We had to have our shopping done for us, and I always loved going for the shops, even just to look around. You have to keep hold of the thought that it's not going to last forever. Now it's come to fruition, we are able to get out, and life's getting good again."
Things have got better lately for them both. Marion can now leave Colin to visit the neighbours or go for a short walk without Colin becoming monophobic. They've also had a breakthrough with Colin's agoraphobia to the extent that they go shopping together in their local town - which they haven't done for the last nine years.
It's been hard, and in spite of the severe strain the situation put on their marriage, they have stayed together, "We haven't had time to think just of ourselves, and we've needed support from each other," says Marion. Colin adds, "She wasn't going to give up on me, and in many ways, she's my reason for getting better."
Marion and Colin founded a charity called No Panic to help others with similar problems. The membership has now reached well over 3,000.
