My flat-mate introduced me to the fine art of marmite beating.

For the unitiated this involves putting a small dollop of marmite on the side of your breakfast plate and gently beating it with a knife until it turns from brown to light brown and eventually to white (oh yes it does).

In hindsight I am convinced that this is an activity only to be undertaken as a student or if you are detained at her majesty's pleasure for some considerable time as it literally takes hours to reach the ultimate goal of turning your marmite white!

My flatmate assured me that there was a Marmite Beaters Club for people who had achieved the requisite shade of white (there's probably a similar club for people who have pulled all their toenails out) but I'm beginning to think I was the victim of a a cruel wind-up.