Whilst out walking his dog, Stewart Patterson heard the Home Truths discussion on the gentle art of tabling, a sport requiring a flexible body and a table. Stewart was whisked back in time to his Aberdeen Grammar schooldays and a certain bus stop... "At five to four the bell went and six hundred screaming kids piled out of the school," he says, "the bigger ones got on the first bus. The younger ones - about fifty of us - including myself had twenty minutes to wait for the second bus." Other more sedentary pastimes had palled, and the game of whirling round the bus stop was invented.
"The technique developed and it became an organised event," explains Stewart, "First there was the flexing, the puffing out of the cheeks. After this you took a parabolic approach to the bus stop (think high jumpers). You had to get the speed right; if you were too fast you'd dislocate your shoulder but if you were too slow you wouldn't have enough momentum to whirl you round the bus stop." The idea was to catch the bus stop as high up as possible, shoot your legs out, and make the weight of your legs carry you round in a circle. The boy would clutch the bus stop as high as possible. The idea was to go round as many times of possible before your feet touched the ground. A good whirl was about six times round the stop.
But another character, essential to the building excitement at the bus stop, was Stephen Marwick, "He was a wee guy who was hopeless at bus-stopping," says Stewart, "But he gave order to the whole thing. As he started doing his David Coleman type commentary, everyone went quiet and recognised his authority." Dropping into the memory of Stephen's dramatic commentary, Stewart adpots the hushed tones of the artful crowd-pleaser, " "Harrison stands poised, a man who has achieved a legendary eight-and-a-half on more than one occasion, he rocks back and forward from heel to toe in order to gather his concentration." Returning to his own voice, Stewart remembers, "Then the sea of small boys would part and you knew it was your time to go."
Stewart was champion bus stop whirler, "My best ever was nine-and-a-quarter. I was the champion - yeah!" he says, modestly. This was no mean feat, and Stewart was looked upon with admiration by his schoolfellows. He has briefly re-lived that time of fame again on Home Truths.
