The Ant Anthology
By Rob Cox
ACCOUNT-ANTS
(Family: Accountantius)
Make nest in piles of paper. Live in offices. Do not like direct sunlight. Believe in 'safety in numbers'. (Sometimes known as 'Borers')
BRILLI-ANTS
(Family: Brilliantius)
Brightly-coloured and highly intellig-ant. Glow in the dark and are found in deepest darkest parts of nest, as Illuminants.
DELIVER-ANTS
(Family: Deliverantius)
Carry the mail and small parcels from one nest to another. Early risers, ride bikes and believe in the coming of a Saviour Ant.
FINE-ANTS
(Family: Financius)
A superb, neat breed that tend to nest in banks. They often lend money to less well-off ants and charge something called 'anterest'.
Easily recognised by their green backs.
GRIEVE-ANTS
(Family: Grievancius)
Experience a very high death-rate. Have long memories and hold grudges. Have distinctive black armband round each leg.
HINDER-ANTS
(Family: Hinderancius)
Five-legged slow movers who walk around in circles most of the day. Can therefore be pests, obstructing worker ants by blocking up nest doorways and corridors.
IMPORTANT-ANTS
(Family: Importancius)
Highly-acclaimed and well-respected amongst most other breeds. Often brought in from other countries to carry out special work.
JUBIL-ANTS
(Family: Jubilancius)
Very happy breed, always looking for an excuse to celebrate. They have a strange habit of jumping into the air and clicking their heels together in moments of extreme ecstasy.
LUBRIC-ANTS
(Family: Lubricantius)
Originally from Greece. This rare breed are covered in an oily subst-ants which helps them slip out of their enemies grasp. Other ants will rub up against them when their joints get stiff and dry.
MIGER-ANTS
(Family: Migrantius)
A generic name given to any breed that moves from it's own country to set up home in ant-nother. They are often different colours and bring lots of new ideas and interesting habits, but also risk exploitation by Fat Cat Ants.
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OBSERVE-ANTS
(Family: Observancius)
Very keenly-sighted breed that spend days in one position, just watching without sleeping. Therefore make good Guard-Ants Officers. It is believed they can see ants on other planets from an Observ-Ant-Tree.
PERFORM-ANTS
(Family: Performantius)
Great show-offs and natural actors. They will do almost anything to get ant-tention. At certain times of the year they group together and put on plays.
ROME-ANTS
(Family: Romancius)
Very sensitive, loving breed usually only found in Italy, but some turn into Miger Ants. They read a lot of poe-ant-try and sometimes climb very high walls to reach the one they love - as in Shakespeare's Romi-Ant and Juli-Ant.
SERV-ANTS
(Family: Servantius)
A low-class worker ant, forced to live in deepest part of nest, where they prepare food and clear up mess made by Aristocr-Ants.
In what spare time they have, they like to play tennis.
TYRE-ANTS
(Family: Tyrantius)
A nasty, vicious breed. They rule whole colonies cruelly and oppressively, forcing the Peas-Ants to work long hours for nothing and often torturing them just for pleasure. Have a distinctive rubbery smell.
UNDERP-ANTS
(Family: Underpantius)
Have really weird markings on their lower abdomen. This is normally a V-shape and can be in various colours. However, the marking is often shed when they sleep.
VAGUER-ANTS
(Family: Vagrantius)
Ants of no fixed abode. They are nom-ants, wandering from one colony to another. Often found on roadsides or near rubbish bins, just staring into space.
WHITE ELEPH-ANTS
(Family: Blancius Elephantius)
An annoying breed with no real use at all. Often found at school fetes and car boot sales where strangers buy them, take them home, and then ignore them.
X-UBER-ANTS
(Family: Exuberantius)
Highly excitable and sometimes difficult to control. This can get the young into trouble with their pair-ants. A very superstitious breed, they will often cross all their legs for luck. Thus the X.
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