Radio 4
Home Truths
Listen Again
About John Peel
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Dave Cathy got in touch having heard Sue Rye last week. Dave only found out why his childhood had been so grim when both parents had died Dave was born in 1939, just around the corner from Liverpool's Rocket. His mother was a barmaid, and his dad a steward on the Belfast-Liverpool Ferry who, he thinks, grew up in a children's home.
It was a respectful, very hard working family. His mother was the hardest working woman he ever met in his life. But it wasn't a happy marriage. 'They survived'. There was a sixteen year age gap, and the pair had nothing in common.
When Dave was young, the family never spent any time together, and when they did there were always rows. And neither of his parents spent any time with him.
Dave's earliest memories are of sitting at home alone and petrified, listening to radio. And as he grew up he was a latch-key kid. A note would be waiting for him when he got home from school, giving instruction for dinner. In the evenings if a babysitter wasn't available, he'd be told to knock on the neighbour's wall if he needed to.
As he grew up, Dave passed his scholarship and went off to grammar school. Then his mum got her own pub in Birkenhead, which meant that Dave had to change schools. Both parents were looking after the pub and Dave was again left to his own devices.
Dave says he lived his own life. If he stayed up very late he might see his parents, but otherwise their paths didn't cross. They didn't know where his school was and were too busy to show any interest in him at all.
When he once ran away from home, and spent the night frozen in a friends garage, his parents hadn't even noticed that he'd gone missing. And like many children in these circumstances, Dave felt that he was to blame; that he didn't deserve to be loved.
He was a very obedient child - eager to please. So when his school suggested that Dave should think about taking a degree, and his father insisted that he go to sea, Dave did as he was told.
Dave stayed at sea for 8 years and got his mates certificate. And since then he's started several businesses, but as soon as he's made a success of something, he feels the need to move on. He's not motivated by money, but by the need for approval.
Dave's father died when he was a way at sea. His mother did mellow a little when she retired, and did show him some affection then - but he couldn't return the feeling.
It was years later that an aunt mentioned that his parents had married only four or five months before Dave was born, and that in fact the pregnancy had been the reason why they had married. At first he thought this was hilarious, but later felt that they shouldn't have allowed themselves to be pushed into an unwanted marriage. And that with their lack of affection he had borne the brunt of it.
A lasting legacy of his childhood has been that Dave feels he doesn't inspire affection in others.
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