Doreen Blanks is Anosmic - she has no sense of smell. Yes it is a real word. Anosmia is a condition and it can be quite hazardous. It also requires Doreen to 'borrow' the nose of her daughter or husband for all manner of smells. Mmmm...!

Garden roses

Doreen has never had a sense of smell, although her mother insists she could smell as a small child. Doreen had her adenoids out and thinks that could be the reason why she cannot smell.

Luckily, Doreen's husband David has a nose which is 'large and sensitive'. She often 'borrows' it (or that of her daughter) to check the freshness of food, or whether she should wash her jumpers. She has a particular penchant for tinned fish and takes her life in her hands at these times, making every effort to avoid dented tins (remember the tinned salmon scare in the 70s?).

It saddens Doreen not to be able to smell. She has a beautiful garden, and wishes she could smell it. Food, perfume, flowers, even babies when bathed are things she's like to be able to smell. She remembers looking at a peaceful sleeping baby, not smelling the dirty nappy and returning later to find them awake and playing with their nappy contents ... the clean up was not pleasant.

A newly bathed baby

Doreen's greatest fear is growing up to be a smelly old lady. She is still sometimes given 'smellies' at Christmas by well-meaning friends and relatives. She likens it to giving videos to a blind person. If she is given a perfume she sees whether Dave her husband likes it and may then use it.

Touring in a car in Europe, Doreen committed a cardinal sin, spilling milk which seeped into inaccessible places under the front seat. After a day or two when the stench grew unbearable for everyone except Doreen, she did wonder whether they would abandon her on the roadside.