 | Guide Entry: Planet Earth
by Chris Coughlan
This obscure ex-planet was only worth a visit to make a quick Star Buck out of the humanoid population which called themselves Mankind and see the source of the Ante Macassar Wars which decimated ten star systems. A primitive craft launched by Mankind was ingested by the propulsion unit of the Inter Galactic Diplomatic Mission to Erasmo Melti, downloaded its contents into the central nervous system of the star cruiser, and treated the entire life form content of the vessel to five spans of looped Man music and culture resulting in the complete breakdown of diplomatic relations between and sanity of all parties on board. The rest is history.
Among the inhabitants there were only one species who regularly attended Quadrant meetings and then only to swipe all the best cheese from the buffet table. The other advanced life form present had developed a complex system of wormholes in the ocean floors so they could pop off to visit their relatives in Pisces Profundus while Mankind, who started all the trouble, had the hilarious notion they knew how the Universe worked. Human capacity for taking itself seriously knew no bounds which was odd to outside observers who were aware that Mankind were only part of a computer program. So worrying was this development, it panicked the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation into cancelling self-awareness in all future robots and androids.
General opinion has it that, in view of the chaos caused by its Humanoid content, the destruction of the planet by the Vogons to make way for a hyperspace by-pass came not a moment too soon.
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