 | Guide Entry: Planet Earth
by Jenni Howland
- Mostly blue. With green, brown and white splodges. Quite pretty really.
- Small to medium size.
- One moon.
- Dark Sector (see Appendix MMCXXXIV - Unfashionable Regions).
- Planet originally commissioned, but then abandoned, for (failed) computer simulation to detect the Ultimate Question.
- Totally amazing variety of wildlife. Thousands of species of mammals, amphibians, fish and birds. Even more varieties of non-vertebrates, plant life, fungi etc. And more single celled species than you could shake a Trimidium Thrashing Twig at.
- There are just two sentient life forms - the Bottle Nosed Dolphin and the Pacific Giant Octupus.
- GU membership is under consideration. A delegation (led by His Wisdom Oogarlah the Omni Tentacled) is in negotiations with the Galactic Union for introductory affiliation. Talks have been delayed, however, due to an infestation of a particularly nasty and virulent form of land based bipedal, which threatens the existence of most species on the planet. This parasite has evolved a unique brain that is so sophisticated, so intricate and powerful, so uniquely structured and flexible in its handling of the notions of concept, wit and logic, that it has managed to achieve levels of stupidity unheard of anywhere else in the Galaxy. It is wantonly dangerous and may even destroy itself! But no risks are being taken. Vogan pest extermination officer Bloodglot Lungflooder has been contacted though he is “a bit busy just at the moment”. However, he should have a “window” once he has completed sterilising the planet Balik. His secretary says this should be “any day now”.
- Nice fjords.
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