Say What You Want to HearHear: Fear and Failure

Spell out your anxieties and make them manageable

• Dear friends

  You like to think they're your dear friends but they rarely, if at all, communicate well with you.

  Dear friends

• Audio Doodles

  Writing ideas for a new radio play, you say? Fair enough, you've tried everything else.

  Audio Doodles

• Ever decreasing lists

  Why is my Facebook friends list getting smaller?

  Ever decreasing lists

• Rat race

  You joined the rat race only to be disqualified after three false starts. Do something else

  Rat race

• Mouth closed

  You have nothing to say - I have said it to myself, or feared the consequences of truly believing it, often enough to know that when I say it I no longer know what I believe. If you can't trust your own voice you don't know what you really think. Hearing someone else say it, though, is a challenge, a confrontation, a way of dealing with the worry from outside of yourself. I struggle with my own doubt, but I'll fight my corner if challenged, and that's exactly why I want to hear someone say those words to me.

  Mouth closed

• Lucky Escape

  You can never really know that something is definitely a bad thing. It's like the whole beating of a butterfly wings thing. You might think that being delayed for an hour is bad, but actually you might have been run over by a bus. - This is the kind of weird mumbo jumbo that I mutter to myself in times of stress. It is a variation on what my Grandma (who died aged 97) used to say: "You'll see dear it will all work out in the end, if that hadn't happened then that wouldn't have happened..." What undermines this whole philosophy is the fact that for 100's of thousands of people it isn't all right in the end. It isn't okay for the people in Haiti or for people who die in genocide or people who starve. This kind of thinking only really works in the west where, generally, everything is kind of okay in the end.

  Lucky Escape

• I forgot about greedy Uncle Ernie

  Why is it that no matter how many I do, there's always a vague worry that I haven't peeled enough potatoes? - It's always a worry and it would be interesting to know if others have the same concern.

  I forgot about greedy Uncle Ernie

• Suitable Attire

  Why can't she wear winter clothes in the winter instead of her skimpy bikini? Makes me wish I never met her in the shop in Amsterdam.

  Suitable Attire

• Youth mispent worrying

  When you were young, you were beautiful. What a pity you spent so much time thinking that you weren't - Because for every one person who is utterly confident they are beautiful, there are nine others - of both sexes - agonising that they aren't.

  Youth mispent worrying

• Not the same as advertised

  What if there is life after death but it's nothing like heaven

  Not the same as advertised

• Important Suffering

  The ability to suffer is important. - Sometimes we forget that the low points in life are what makes the good time great

  Important Suffering

• Private silent worlds

  So many of us go around like zombies in our own private silent worlds, so let's just relax, open up and talk; no need to be afraid! - On trains, on planes, on buses, in stations, and coffee shops, strangers often find it hard to start conversations. Some people are shy, in a hurry, not interested, suspicious and fearful, and yet many people, as strangers, would relish conversation as a means to banish isolation and loneliness, to acquire confidence in being a social animal.

  Private silent worlds

• Must have been in the sale

  Oh, how embarrassing! That man's corset is made of the same brocade as mine

  Must have been in the sale

• Failing at quitting

  It's okay to fail. It's not okay to quit.- I'd just had some bad news, and that evening I came across this saying. It made sense and snapped me out of nearly quitting on my dream. Before that, I was scared of failing. Now if I fail, I fail. I'm more scared of quitting. Quitting means giving up on making the most of everything, leaving me always wondering, 'what if?'. And that scares me to death.

  Failing at quitting

• But I do worry

  I want to hear Peter Mandelson say, "don't worry I wont hurt you".

  But I do worry

• Fear of Failure

  I fear failure like others fear death. In my family if you fail you may as well dig your own grave - though they might not think you capable of that - It is my worst fear - if it is said out loud then others might feel it too and it might not feel so bad anymore

  Fear of Failure

• The mirror never lies

  How did I become the old man I despised when I was young?

  The mirror never lies

• Birthday late

  How could I be late for the vital birthday lemon drizzle cake? Priorities stupid!

  Birthday late