BBC - Radio 4 - Arts and Drama - Front Row

Home

Explore the BBC

BBC Homepage
BBC Radio

Radio 4

Programmes

Podcast

Schedule

Presenters

News

Drama

Comedy

Science

Religion|Ethics

History

Factual

Messageboards

Radio 4 Tickets

Radio 4 Help

About the BBC

Contact Us

Help

BBC Radio 4 - 92 to 94 FM and 198 Long Wave

Listen to Digital Radio, Digital TV and Online

FRONT ROW - EMAIL

MISSED A PROGRAMME?
Go to the Listen Again page











SHORT STORY COMPETITION The challenge was to write the first 100 words of a novel in any genre, such as thriller, romance, chick-lit, etc. A survey commissioned for World Book Day had revealed that accountants spend more time reading for pleasure than any other profession, so therefore in the first 100 words you had to feature an accountant as a character and include five words from the accounting world: offshore, loophole, savings, spreadsheet, and figure. Winners will receive complimentary book vouchers. AND THE WINNERS ARE... Listen to the winning entries being read ANTHONY MASON: FIRST PLACE In his office Monday morning With his coffee and digestive, Running Total, chief accountant Sat frustrated and despondent. Of the Tribe of Number Crunchers Chief he was, and proud to be so; Proud in fight with wolf-like Taxman Proud to shelter profits offshore. But his savings now were shrinking, Shrinking like the snows in springtime, Money rushing like a river To the pockets of some fraudster. How to figure out the problem? So it was that Running Total Biro wielder, spreadsheet demon Started out to seek the Loophole Went to find his missing millions, And to bring them home triumphant. JUDY WALKER: SECOND PLACE Eric discreetly adjusted his position, easing the majority of his weight – whilst still talking lucidly of tax savings and offshore investment – onto his right buttock. The other board members studied the spreadsheet in silence. Sensing approval, Eric relaxed a little, thoughtlessly allowing his weight to sink back to centre. The pain caught him like a loophole being yanked closed. “So….any thoughts?” “Well, you’re the bloody accountant. Just tell us whether we can pull it off.” Just for a moment, Eric visualised himself standing on the table, dropping his pants and displaying the tattooed figure on his rear. RACHEL COX: THIRD PLACE Jack had been God's accountant for years. He hadn't applied for the position, instead a heavenly figure had appeared in his living room and promptly deposited him on a cloud before he could find a loophole in his employment contract. He looked again at the spreadsheet in front of him. Now that he'd created the universe, God had bided His time on the stock market, investing in bananas and offshore oil rigs. Due to an untimely accident involving a banana boat and an oil rig, God's only savings were rapidly evaporating. A bit like the cloud Jack was sitting on.

Audio Help



	DON'T MISS

ARCHERS Latest:404 Not Found Not Found The requested URL /cgi-bin/radio4/archers/todays_teaser.pl was not found on this server. You might also like: news \| sport \| weather \| worklife \| travel \| future \| culture \| world \| business \| technology Interactive map. Pan and zoom through the entire village, discover more about the locations and characters. Weekdays, 7 - 7.15pm and the Omnibus on Sunday, 10.00 - 11.15am.

OPEN BOOK Mariella Frostrup with news from the world of books. Listen to the latest edition online or browse the interviews. Sunday and Thursday, 4.00 to 4.30pm, except the first Sunday in the month.

	ARTS AND DRAMA ON 4


	The Archers Afternoon Play Book of the Week Book at Bedtime The Classic Serial Woman's Hour Drama The Saturday Play The Friday Play The Afternoon Reading Back Row Front Row Open Book Saturday Review

USEFUL LINKS

www.bbc.co.uk/history
news.bbc.co.uk

RELATED PROGRAMMES

This Sceptred Isle






	News & Current Affairs \| Arts & Drama \| Comedy & Quizzes \| Science \| Religion & Ethics \| History \| Factual Back to top

About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy

SHORT STORY COMPETITION

Not Found