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Pip's Diary. Secret DO NOT LOOK!
by typewright
 Pip tells her life through the medium of textspeak, from the Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board.
I hate Mum! She's so strict and she's got no right 2 cross-xamine me like the Gestapo. I TOLD her I was getting a lift! She's probly going 2 put a hidden mike in my bag now. Wot do I have 2 do, tx her photos of me every 5 mins to GET HER OFF MY BACK????!!!!!!!!
Txd Zoe b4 bed but she hasnt txd back. I said 'hi zo lst nite ws wkd :-))) mums unresnbl realy shoutin :-( hw do i gt hr 2 stop pryin luv pip'
I'll ax her 2day abt wot 2 do.
& I WASN'T DRUNK!!!!!!!!! Tellin me 2 drink a glass of water WOT TOTAL CHEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Got 2 wash my black tights cos running out. Wish I hadn't spent all Granny Heather's Xmas money now, I cant even afford 2 mags or some makeup OF MY OWN. Well she can have her scabby lippy back, it's a rubbish colour. Katy and Lily wdnt be seen DEAD in it. Probly scares the cows. And Dad, lol!!!!!
Party woz soooooooooooooooo randommm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wot luck getting that lift from -
Oh noooo shes comin up the stairs now 2 say breakfasts ready gotta go l8rz!!
***
It's not fair! Every1s got more money than me @ kolij!
Zoe sez I should try Granny Heather again cos she can't see my new hair (unless Mums taken a sneaky pic & MMSd her. Wdnt put it past her, old GORGON) and ax her if I cn have my BIRTHDAY!!!!!! money early coz of kolij xpenses.
I wish I cd work like Izzy but Mum & Dad wouldn't let me coz of homework & anyway theres no time with the herd an everything.
Its so unFAIR.
But I got a PLAN :-) !!!! I'll go & talk to Grandad & get him round to music & if I cn soften him up he might back me up & tell Granny H it's a good idea cos he FANCIES HER!!!!!!!!!!!
Or, an this is like sooooooooooooooooooo radical, talk to Prof Lloyd cos he fancies her too lol lol. I might get them both jealous. I'll ask Zoe.
Am I a GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnius or what?
Youre a genius, Pip!
Well, its nearly 7 an Mum will be rushing in to watch the 1 Show (boooooooooooooringggggggggggggggg), she loooooooves Adrian Chiles, barf barf. So I can get into the kitchen without her ambushing me.
Im like an exile in my OWN HOME!!!!!!!!
***
OK so now I am an expert on the insides of the komodo dragon. Yeah, that was homework 2nite. WHY??????? do I need 2 know this stuff? Dur! I'm gonna be working with COWS???????????????
Talking about poison. Dad was in a foul mood & stomped off 2 bed afta that prog about chimps making telly progs. Snidey little comment about he'd like to see the zoo keeper cope with us kids. Yeah, ha, ha, Dad, I didn't ASK 2 be born, so DEAL with it.
He sez I woke him up last nite WASHING MY FACE. I'm like, 'Mum SAID I had to', and he's all, 'You didn't have 2 do it so noisily.' WOTTTTTT??
Txd Zoe & we're having coffee 2morrow. We can work on my money plan. I txd 'hi zo u free 4 kofi 2mrw 11ish I got a gr8 plan 2 gt sm dollaz 4 fun lv pip' I think that was OK.
But I'm sick of PIP, it's such a babyish name & if Dad calls me Pipsqueak 1ce agen I'll SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I could be Phizz or something. Or Pippa, but that's an Aunty Jenny sort of name. Filly, like a horse? Haha lol.
But its time 4 bed soon. Betta wash my face QUIETLY & probly IN THE DARK 2 make THEM happy :-(((
Pip's diary continues | |  | |  | | | |  |
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