Electroboy gets blown out of all proportion

I'm no longer manic, bouncing off the walls, hyperactive and flying from New York to Tokyo at a moment's notice. But I'm also no longer the svelte, statuesque and hunky 6'1", 195-pound Greek god that I used to be years ago. I've gained more than sixty pounds on a combination of medications that I take to control my manic depression, which include Depakote and Geodon. A lot of people don't recognise me anymore - but worse, I don't recognise myself sometimes when I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a pane of glass. It's shocking.

My psychiatrist tells me that almost all of his patients on this medication experience the same problem - rapid weight gain due to binging. And I can certainly attest to that. I consume everything in sight. I can't be stopped. My eating habits are the only behaviour of mine that are still manic. I can't walk by a restaurant, a bakery, an ice-cream store or a candy store without making a purchase; the amount of calories I take in today are at least five times as many as I took before starting on all of this medication. It's frightening. It's as if I'm pregnant with triplets, and I'm just expanding at a rapid rate that can't be controlled.

Sometimes I have a good sense of humour about it and I'm able to laugh it off. But honestly, sometimes I'm depressed by the tremendously unattractive sight of the additional weight that I'm carrying around with me. I'm friends with a woman who used to be a model; she once appeared on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. She's 5'6" and she weighs more than me - a little over 300 pounds. She claims that the issue of her obesity - due to her binging from medication to treat her manic depression - is worse than the actual issue of manic depression itself. In a few months, she's going to have her stomach stapled because things have gotten so bad. She needs to lose about half of her body weight. She spends her days at home gorging herself on cookies and chocolates while watching television, and her life is worse than it's ever been.

I thought that once I'd 'licked' the manic depression I would be 'home free'. Silly me. Little did I know that I'd be facing the problem of having another disability - being 'obese'. Maybe I'm exaggerating - but, according to my physician, I do fall into that category now.

I need to lose sixty pounds, and I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do it. I've given up alcohol and sugar and I'm getting ready to give up the biggest thing of all - oh no, red meat! Soon, I'll have to start my exercise regimen again. I used to be crazy about exercise. I used to work-out twice a day - running, swimming, aerobics and weight-lifting. The thought of all that exercise is dreadful, but I know that I won't be able to lose the weight without it.

I went to an OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meeting last week. It was my first one ever, and I was surprised to find that nearly half of the people in the group had recently gained their 'excess weight' from psychotropic medication. One man, who weighed at least 350 pounds, pulled a photograph of himself out of his wallet. It was a picture of himself taken on the beach not more than a year ago, he told us; since then, he had gained 150 pounds. A man who was once a healthy, fit and attractive thirty-year-old 'stud' was now a flabby guy wearing a big pair of sweat pants and a sweater to hide his physique. He told us, unhappily, how he considered going off the psychotropic medications to get back to his former weight, because he was just so unhappy being obese. Everybody in the room was silent and there were people crying as he told his story. I was crying too.

If they can send men to the moon, why can't they create psychotropic drugs that don't cause you to gain so much weight? It makes life so difficult. I have closets full of clothes that I can't wear anymore. I just wear the same things over and over and over. It's embarrassing sometimes, and I often wonder if people notice that I don't change my clothes that frequently. After all, when I was manic depressive and globe-trotting, and I was healthy and fit, I had a wardrobe that was very impressive. What must people think of me now? Am I just the guy in the baggy sweatpants and big, bulky sweaters?

However, there is hope for Electroboy. I've started taking a medication called Topomax, which like Depakote, is also a mood stabilizer. Within the next three months, studies will be published that will show that Topomax is also a very effective anti-binge medication. Many people who go on it for a few months will hopefully lose all of the weight that they gained (because they'll stop binging) and will return to their normal weight. I've been on the medication for about one week and I've lost a few pounds, so I'm already pretty hopeful. I've also started an exercise regimen. The binging seems a little bit more under control.

Of course, there are other side effects with these new drugs. I'm constantly exhausted. I find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I need at least ten hours of sleep just to function. How come my doctor forgot to tell me about these side effects? Still, I guess I'd rather be tired and go to bed at nine o'clock every night than walk around bloated and the size of Humpty Dumpty.