There's no escaping the fact that Sandra Bullock is an attractive actress. And films like Speed and While You Were Sleeping are pretty good.

But since the mid-90's her career has gone no where. As co-producer of Miss Congeniality she obviously believed strongly in the project. Big mistake.

The film is a modern take on Pygmalion. It isn't worthy to be mentioned in the same breath. Even Martine McCutcheon, currently in the West End revival of the story, will have a longer run than this disaster.

Miss Congeniality? Was I really in that?

The premise is that a dangerous criminal has threatened carnage at the Miss United States Pageant.

The FBI decide to send in an undercover agent in the form of Gracie Hart (Bullock). When the movie starts she's no glamourpuss. She's a frump with few social graces.

Beauty consultant Victor Melling (Michael Caine) is called in to work miracles. Surprise, surprise, agent Hart is transformed into a beauty contestant who can proudly show off her curves in swimsuit and evening wear.

Scotty, get me out of this movie

The hunt for the villain ensues and it's giving nothing away to say the FBI wins the day and Hart's preconceptions about beauty pageant contestants being nothing but dumb blondes is radically altered.

Apart from it being a pretty flimsy storyline, Miss Congeniality's big problem is it can't decide whether to be a comedy or a thriller.

The opening sequence of a raid gone wrong offers hope. It's quite tense but suddenly tries to lighten up. For the next hour and a half the boundaries remain blurred, although in truth, the laugh quota is minimal.

The film has one saving grace and it's not Sandra Bullock's good looks.

Michael Caine's on screen presence lifts the film temporarily, even though it's a typical Caine performance (i.e. nothing out of the ordinary, unlike appearances in Little Voice and the original Get Carter).

Seeing him appear against the appalling William Shatner is embarrassing.

People continue to object to the Miss World contest. Far more should object to this celluloid rubbish.