Joe's Bar, off Exit 30, Interstate 4, Florida . November 2000

Side by side in the liquor store

sat George Dubya Bush and Big Al Gore.

“Dubya ‘tween you an' me an' that swing door,

hell no one gives a damn - no more.”

So set ‘em up Joe. Si Si Senor .

“You know Big Al, I can't ignore

the public's kinda tired of electoral law

an' I gotta admit, that I'd plump for

a toss of a coin, an' one less encore”.

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

“You've got a deal, we played a draw,

and I prefer peace, I prefer rapport.

So Dubya Bush, what are we waiting for

A big silver dollar?” – “Yup – an' the press corps.”

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

So up went the dollar, it fell to the floor,

rolled around, and out the swing door.

They looked at each other, and both knew the score.

President Bush or President Gore.

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

“Hey, Senor gentlemen, I hate to bore,

but both you gentlemen I feel sorry for.

So return to your stools I do implore,

an' hear my philosophy. It's all I ask for!”

OK set ‘em up Joe. Si Si Senor .

“Here there ain't no power, but there's no trap door,

ain't no interns, but there ain't no war,

ain't no big bucks, but there's no fatal flaw,

Sure, winners take all, but we losers have more.”

OK set ‘em up Joe. Si Si Senor .

“What in heck does he mean, that a metaphor?”

“Allegory, Dubya, named after me Al Gore.

You wanna know the gist, the apple core.

Here the sun don't shine but the rain don't pour.”

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

“Let me get this straight, we exit that door,

forget the election, forget the score,

forget the White House, Mount Rushmore .

Why, he must think we're from Chickenscraw.”

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

My philosophification, Senor, is no jaw jaw;

It's Saddam first and then a star war,

Then Dubya Dubya III and Dubya Dubya IV,

And when we've kicked ass, we'll kick some more.

So set ‘em up Joe. Si Si Senor.

“So its one for the road and then one more,

then listen Big Al, our feet walk the floor,

We pick up the coin and its Bush or Gore,

An' its out of town on Interstate 4”

So set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senor.

So they had their drink and they had one more,

And headed towards a now revolving door,

But they slid horizontal and started to snore,

And in came the snappers from the press corps.

Hey set ‘em up Joe . Si Si Senors.

Postscript [ if only]

“My fellow Americans from shore to shore,

it's true I know I'm kinda saddle sore,

but when my country calls I can't withdraw,

No more I'll live in Hope, Arkansas .”

We set ‘em up Joe. Si Si Bill .