Steph could hear the sound of gunshots in her mind; sharp; cutting through the air so easily. Easily, it'd happen easily. Turning the gun over in her hand, Steph savoured long and infrequent breaths. It was cool to touch. The cold metal soothed her clammy hands. It was beautiful. It really was. Some people called guns weapons; Steph didn't. It was a beauty; a masterpiece; a design marvel. She felt empowered and in control. Nothing could hurt her now. Nothing. Steph thought back; delving deep into her memory. Tears filled her eyes; bitter, stinging tears. She hadn't deserved any of this. The physical pain was hard to bear but it was the emotional suffering that caused her to despair. It was the loneliness that made Steph really question whether life was worth living. There was only one way to stop it all. She had to get rid of the person who'd caused all this suffering. That girl who picked fault at everything Steph did, who criticised her every move and pushed the people she loved away from her. Steph couldn't walk away from this monster. Yes, that's what she was; a monster disguised in the body of a girl. Steph just couldn't understand. How could something so small, so seemingly harmless, tear up everything and ruin her whole life? Who gave her the power to destroy Steph? Everything had been going so well; Steph was always an A-grade student, she had some great friends and, most importantly, she had hope. She had a future ahead of her; a bright future. Of course, she'd had her problems, just like anybody else. But Steph had always managed to deal with them, overcome them, and move on. Now, though, she was stuck in a rut. Her life wasn't going anywhere. She continued to do well at school but what good is that when you're desperate and hopeless? Everybody says that good exam results give you a future, that's only when you can see beyond today though. That's only true when you think the future might be better. As far as Steph could see, things would only get worse though. Thinking about all the little moments that had made her feel worthless caused an indescribable feeling to wash over Steph. She'd become truly invisible. Nobody ever directed a question at her, or asked her to go shopping, or hugged her and cared about why she was unhappy. They weren't trying to be horrible; it wasn't their fault. It was her fault. Steph could hardly bear to think of her. Resentment rose in her blood, her veins burning. She was angry. No, she was beyond being angry. She was despairing. After months of crying herself to sleep, struggling to keep her friends and praying that tomorrow would offer a glimmer of hope, Steph had had enough. This, she knew, was the only way forward. It was the only way she could move on. As Steph continued to caress the gun, oh my, it was stunning, a smile flickered across her face. This convinced her, even more, that she was doing the right thing. She hadn't smiled in a long, long time. She could have closure now; move on to something better. The girl who'd taken everything from her, could finally be gone; extreme, maybe, but necessary. Every time the possibility of defeat crossed her mind, Steph quickly pushed it away. Would she have the strength to go through with this? Yes, she continuously told herself, she had to. That monster didn't deserve to be alive; she was barely human. She had it coming to her. It was for the best. Steph had never been religious but she thought it'd be fitting to say a prayer. As she prayed for this hell to be over, Steph began to feel a tingling sensation creeping through her limbs. It was time, she knew that. Steph sat down on the cold stone floor and looked at the gun one last time. Slowly, she raised her arm and pressed the barrel of the gun against her scalp. For months Steph had been blaming everybody else for what had gone wrong. Finally though, she realised that she'd been ruining her own life. Bang. | 
