The King Lives. I know that Elvis died before I was born and the other girls at school think I'm daft to be obsessed with him, but I think he's somewhere in England. I thought he might be old Mr Smith when I saw that his house is named Gracelands. I knocked on the door and told him that I had a Suspicion he was really Elvis. He was very rude. "Don't waste my time, you silly girl," he snarled, so I asked him why he'd called his house Gracelands. It turned out it was from the names of himself and his family. Grace the wife, Celia the daughter and Andrew, the grumpy old g*t, plus the "s" for Smith. I shouted that his family should be called Horace Riddler and Mandy, and left him working out that this made "horrid man" as I ran down the road. Of course Riddler isn't a proper name, except in "Batman" films, but I couldn't think of anything else. Last week I was convinced that the Scottish lad working in the "Big Fat Fryer" was Elvis. Well there's that song "There's a man works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis". I went in for a bag of chips, accompanied by my brother and our dog, Presley. I sang "The Wonder of You" but the Scottish bloke just asked, "Are ye barking?" I was a bit put out. I told him that Presley is a quiet dog and never barks in chip shops, so I tried the bloke with "Now or Never". He said "Make it now. There's a queue." I was about to launch into another song when he growled, "Do ye want battered?" We left the shop in a hurry after my brother informed me that this was a threat, not a request for my order. Walking home, and feeling rather hungry, I remembered that Elvis could eat a whole chocolate cake in one sitting, so I decided to make one and tempt him to our house. My sarcastic brother said that Elvis might have sang about a Wooden Heart, but it didn't mean he'd want to eat one. I ignored him and made my cake. I left it in the sitting room when everyone had gone to bed. The next day, when I got home from school, I found Presley lying on the rug in front of the fire feeling rather sorry for himself. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses because my brother said the glare of the lights seemed to be hurting the dog’s eyes. It was Presley who had eaten my chocolate cake and mum had ended up taking him to the vet's. My brother had to say, "Anyone who eats her cake is bound to need medical treatment." That's when I knew. I looked at Presley and said, "It's him." "No" laughed Dad and he looked at Presley and sang, "You ain't nothing, but a hound dog." "Not Elvis," I replied. "Roy Orbison." | 
