The prime minister was seated at his rich mahogany desk, surrounded by shelves of volumes of ancient books of law, a rug woven in India by children earning a fair wage. Donned in his favourite navy, pin striped suit, sky blue Armani shirt and light grey tie. All of this to give the impression of authority while still conveying his welcoming, caring side. The perfect picture of propriety. However, he had, once more, found himself faced with another document stating, in detail, how his inadequacy has led to Britain's political and social decline. It now seemed that although Government's number one priority at the beginning of this term was to improve upon the miserable state of schooling and education, the only significant different between this attempt and all those previous was to change the slogan from 'education, education, education' to 'excellence, excellence, excellence'. And in all honesty, what good is that when you are addressing a population of which more than half is illiterate? Frustration was taking over. Soon they would be coming, the press, the scandalous radio talk show hosts, hunting him down over this. But could he really be blamed for the position of comprehensive schools in this year's Off stead reports? Is it really his fault that there is an community of people, with so little regard to their children's welfare, that they would actively encourage 'skiving' and 'boozing' and numerous other activities detrimental to their child's health. A community whose women, while still girls, are willing to have illegal sex, to become teenage mothers, all in the hope of extra benefits and a council flat? Can this all be attributed to his bad judgement? Then the prime minister suddenly realised something which made him tremble. He actually detested and deplored the general public. He agonised over having to meet with those who had put him into power. He cringed at the thought that his children would mix with children whose mothers were drug addicts, prostitutes or simply 'living off the state'. Which is why, naturally, he had always left their education in the hands of the most reliable service he knew, private boarding schools. At least with them you are assured a higher class of student. One whose parents can afford the extortionate (even by his standards) tuition fees. And, even more significant, who care enough to actually pay them. On some level, perhaps this has actually always been his reason for keeping tuition fees so high. It must have, sub consciously been in all of his campaigning, in his speeches and addresses. And yet he was voted, by the public, to run the country. It was at this point he had his major revelation. This country longs for a way out of the endless turmoil that is working class existence. The fast food, the day time television, shopping from bargain bins and 'reduced' ranges. It is all a desperate cry for help. And they want me, he thought, they have selected me to aid them in their time of need. A plan was forming in the prime minister's mind. His realisation was logically leading to the action that was needed. First it must be broken down into easily digestible points; • The country is in turmoil
• It is due to the working class (abr. 'chav') population
• Everybody longs for someone to put an end to this
• The country has chosen him Next in the political planning process is to consider the options available and their merit. The first idea would be to bring all comprehensive schools up to the level of grammar schools. This would mean spending upwards of fifty billion pounds a year for the next twenty years (the prime minister had always valued his skill of 'guestimating' outgoings). Where on earth would this funding come from? Not from the pockets of the lower classes he was trying to help. In fact it would have to be drawn from other sections of the education budget. Meaning, it would actually be taken away from private school. Effectually all this would suffer would be to bring grammar schools down to the level of comprehensives. Therefore this plan could easily be discarded immediately. The second point of action could be to abolish all currency. In doing this he would make all people equal, nobody would have the financial advantage and thus everything would have to become available to everybody. However, this wouldn't really solve the problem of bringing Britain to a higher general level of intelligence. In fact, this would probably only serve to heighten the current situation. Force would become a bargaining tool! The strong, yet intellectually challenged, would take over the best possessions and very quickly the entire nation! Clearly he was 'barking up the wrong path with this idea' as they would say. Then he was there. It is said that the simplest idea is often the best. But how to initiate it without the huge public backlash it would obviously incur. It would have to be kept top secret. People would not understand it was the only way to move the country forward. But after it had succeeded he would be heralded as the greatest prime minister ever known. They might even rename his post something like 'Grand Minister', or 'Supreme Minister'. Of course neither of those would actually do, but he could leave that in the hands of his promotional team. Once more, the prime minister's political brain came into operations. The next stage is, obviously, more bullet points. In all reality, it occurred to him, bullet points are only for the morons who have managed to slip through the net and actually make it into a position of influence, but that soon will be a thing of the past, as the following indicate; • Arrange for interception of all food destined for comprehensive school meals
• Contaminate with pre-established dosage of pre-established chemical
• Deliver all food
• Repeat above steps for all fast food chains | 
