29 March, 2006Hi everyone. I had an awful hot flush the other day, I was glad I was on my own. I had tear off all my clothes and stand under the ceiling fan for about 10 minutes. People may laugh at them but they are not funny. Now I have a darn great zit on my top lip and I have Jenny Kirk of BBC television coming tomorrow to film and interview me for the day. I feel terrible as I wanted to look my best. It's been a chaotic day today ensuring my home is spotless, animals well groomed and garden tidy. Being male was hard enough, being female is harder but being in between and still learning female skills is the hardest. I'm going down to London next week to see my specialist for check on progress and maybe see a speech therapist regarding voice box modification. I'm now on a double dose of hormones and feeling very good in self. 9 April 2006 | | Kerry with her dog |
I saw my gender consultant in London last Thursday, who is very happy with my progress and is going to get me to see the the surgical specialist next time. The doctor asked if I wanted just cosmetic work or full reconstruction and I told I wanted the full works to become a complete woman otherwise I would feel cheated. I also discussed voice modification with her which she would endorse if the speech therapist considered it viable. Later the same day I saw the speech therapist who is happy for me to have pitch raising surgery: cric-thyroid approximation. So this will be the next stage of my journey to full womanhood. I am so very very happy. After I left the hospital I saw my Indian boyfriend who took me to see the Shri Swaminarayan Mandir in Neasden london - a fantastic Hindu temple that left me reeling by its sheer beauty. He then took me to buy a Salwar Kamize and Duppata, A Punjabi mode of dress in a beautiful shade of turquoise/jade green.  | | Kerry Whybrow with her llamas |
Coming home that night to Norfolk instead of feeling like a mature 60 plus woman I felt like a teenage girl who had passed important exams and had bought her first ball gown. Hopefully by this time next year I will be a full woman physically and legally recognised as such but I have a lot pain and heartache to go through yet. I am focussed enough but am I brave enough to face the pain? I think so knowing what it means to my inner self. 7 May, 2006I have met on my journey a fully transitioned traveller who I shall meet later in the month. She is going share first hand what to expect and promised to tell all the downsides as well as the uplifts of her journey, so in time I can share this knowledge with others. She is now a full female and hopes one day to marry when she meets the right man. I am having my hair extensions done later this week which will give me quite an uplift and change my appearance - we shall see in time. 29 May, 2006The hormones are beginning to kick in. As I was out with three friends in a cafè having brunch late on Sunday morning, I was hit with two hot flushes within an hour. Apparently, according to my friends, I went very red and the sweat was pouring out of me for a couple of minutes. As I was walking along the street with my friends my developing breasts felt extremely tender and I just wanted to hold them still and stop them jiggling about but could not do so in the middle of Hounslow High Street. I believe many born women sometimes experience such a problem around period time of the menstual cycle. Journey to womanhood is not easy but certainly interesting - but not totally unexpected, just the intensity of feelings are. I love my long hair and it gives me a terrific boost even though it takes me an hour plus to wash and dry. I used to laugh at the female excuse years ago of "I can't come out tonight I am washing my hair." I don't laugh now! I could do with a born woman to help me to appraise my wardrobe and throw away unsuitable clothing. Only another woman can be honest when it comes to fashion! The majority of men will say "It looks OK," even when the colour is awful or the fit terrible - just to please you or to get some peace. How many men enjoy going clothes shopping with women? Very very few! I am going for a job change as I find the present one too macho and aggressive which is a world I find very uncomfortable nowadays. I still wait hear about my voice operation and to my shame have not been practising voice modification. | 
