Salma Alyounes said she had not chosen to come to the UK specifically
"Administrative failings" of the kind indentified by the British Red Cross (BRC) kept a refugee mother from her family for over a year, it is claimed.
Syrian asylum seeker Salma Alyounes was trafficked to the UK but an application for her family to join her was refused, apparently by mistake.
A BRC investigation into errors by entry clearance officers found failings in 35% of cases.
The Home Office said it made sure only those who qualified were granted visas.
Mrs Alyounes, a gynaecology and obstetrics surgeon whose life was in danger, paid an "agent" to smuggle her out of Syria and was flown to the UK from Turkey on a fake passport.
Her family later left Syria for Turkey, where they applied to join her in the UK.
Salma Alyounes fled Syria alone because she did not have the money - 20,000 Euros each - to pay for the whole family
Although the Home Office recognised Mrs Alyounes as a bona fide refugee it did not believe the children were hers, claiming she did not mention them in an interview even though a transcript shows she did.
Officials would also not accept copies of the birth and marriage certificates Mrs Alyounes had left behind in Syria.
BRC family reunion assistance programme manager Vanessa Cowan said entry clearance officers needed "better guidance".
The process is so complex legal advice was often needed to navigate it, she said.
The proportion of family reunion visa applications being refused has risen - 36% were turned down in the year to March 2015, up from 26% the previous year.
The Home Office said immediate family members are allowed to join refugees living in the UK.
It said applications are decided as quickly as possible and it is making improvements to the process.
Immigration rules permit the families of approved refugees to join them in the UK
Labour MP Chi Onwurah accused the government of "putting up barriers" to refugees' family reunions.
"Its target is to minimise numbers rather than to realise our humanitarian obligations and it needs a real investigation," she said.
Mrs Alyounes said being without her family was unbearable.
"Sometimes I walk, I see children school…. I'm cry, because all children I see, it is my children," she said.
Her family's new visa application to visit the UK has now been approved.
The full report can be seen on Inside Out, North East & Cumbria on BBC One at 19:30 on Monday 19 October.
