When You've Got To Go, You've Got To Go

When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go.

ERIC ANNABLE

During any war, one problem is that of going to the toilet. I was in a tank regiment and as we usually “parked up” at night in a field, we made use of the hedgerow if we were only staying for the night.
If the Squadron was together and we were staying for more than a couple of nights, someone had to dig a few trenches for the toilets around the perimeter of the camp. This was a job that the Sergeant Major detailed someone to do. The size of these trenches varied, but they were mostly about 4 feet deep, 2 feet wide and 6 feet long. Along the front edge was placed a pole about 2 feet off the ground on which we sat. Around this lot was placed a canvas screen for a bit of privacy but inside we would be sitting side by side, no privacy. That was the usual latrine system which was used in most units.
Our Squadron had to be different. We had a “sanitary engineer”, that was our name for him, who was an apprentice plumber in civvy street. He used to make the best toilet systems in the E.T.O (European Theatre of Operations).
I believe his name was Bill Greenhalgh and he came from the Manchester area.
There was the usual trench in the ground, but each individual toilet was separated by wardrobe sections. Bill would ask his mates to collect wardrobes and they would strip them down and he would use the panels to separate each toilet. Then he fitted toilet seats in each section and so we all had complete privacy. The toilet seats were taken from some of the bombed houses. Naturally, the Officers took over the first one that Bill and his Mates had erected, but Bill had the last laugh, we had mirrors in the O.R. (other ranks) toilets.
Bill managed to get a trailer on which he would load all the panels and seats when the Squadron was on the move again. His problems started when he wanted a tow from the “B” Echelon Lorries. Some of the drivers were worried about being stopped by the M.P.s but we were mostly with the American Armies, who didn’t worry about us. The British Military Police were very strict on the rules and as the trailer wasn’t official government property, they would cause quite a lot of trouble for the driver that was towing the trailer. Our Sergeant Major was easy going as regards the trailer being coupled up to his lorry provided that the contents were covered up, he didn’t like to think that other people could see the toilet seats. He had two vehicles, one was the lorry and the other was a tank, and he used to alternate between them. His lorry driver liked it when he rode with him because the S.M. wouldn’t stand any nonsense from the M.P.s and he would sound very strict, but we knew him and he was the best N.C.O. you could meet, strict but fair. Sometimes we had to leave the toilets behind but the system was so well organised that Bill and his mates would soon get some more when we stopped again. I have often wondered if anyone else came across any of Bill’s handiwork. You may think that I have got a grudge against the M.P.s, but I had very little to do with them. They had a job to do and it was their choice , they volunteered for that job, and someone had to do it, but I couldn’t do it, and probably 99% of the armed forces couldn’t do it……..

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