Did this Happen?

Our Mother died aged thirty six years about 1936.
Three years later the war broke out and like many others we were put on the train in the guards van off to a childrens home. Joyce being the eldest was aged about five years, myself, Ann
about three years, the youngeest one Diana was about two years. We were met at the station with a taxi that took us to St. Faiths home in Torquay Devon. On arrival we were taken upstairs
stripped bathed and heads examined for head lice.
We were too young to understand why we were there. We new nothing about a war about to start.
There were forty girls in the home altogether, ranging from very young to sixteen. When you reached the age of sixteen you would be placed in service as it was called then, now known as domestic work. In charge was a Matron,two or three other staff were employed. The older children did the work keeping the place spotless washing up cleaning all the shoes preparing the vegetable and whatever needed to be done.
The thing that I remember most is always feeling hungry. The food was never enough for growing children. We used to go scrumping for apples to eat and gather all sorts of things from the woods like sorrel leaves, crab apples, berries off the hawthorn bush,blackberries of course and anything we could find that was edible. If someone had left the store-room door unlocked we would sneak in and take dried fruit or sugar and cocoa and mix the two together. Sometimes we hid the mixture in the cupboard where the boiler was and when we went to collect it dozens of cockroaches had got there before us!
Life was not a happy one in the home. Our Father who we loved very much and was our only relation was in the Fire Service and was only able to visit us once a year due also to the fact that he could not afford the train fare from London to Devon.
The best treat we had was when we went to the beach, climbed the rocks and had fun in the sea.
Tea time we would sit on the beach, big biscuit tins of bread and jam were handed out, that is what we always had for tea. You can imagine the wasps, swarms would come to invade our sandwiches.
We were fortunate enough not to be bombed. As soon as the siren went off we were woken from our sleep and went down in the cellar to what had been prepared as an air-raid shelter.
I used to be absolutly terrified, did,nt understand what it was for, I was always relieved when the all clear went and we went back to our dormitory.
We were looked after quite well but never had anyone to talk to, a grown up I mean, non of the staff would speak to you nor you to them.
We never had any love or a cuddle or any encouragment of any kind.
I remember once I fell off the swing in the garden, I fell flat on my face, it was very painful, I chipped my tooth and grazed my nose, but no one was ever there to go to and dry away the tears.
On one or two occasions, I must have been naughty or something, I was locked in the shelter
that we used during an air raid. It was pitch black, not a chink of light anywhere, I remember screaming at the door knowing I could not be heard because it was down in the cellars.
I dont know how long I was left there, maybe it was only a few minutes but if your are terified it seems like hours. To this day I suffer with claustraphobia, all my life not being able to use lifts, shut in coaches, cannot travel by plane and even affected my working life having to check out the building to see how high it was and that I would not have to go in a lift to get to where I had to work.
We were in the home six years.
I went back to London with no experience about anything. Lacked confidence. Had an inferiority complex and a total lack of knowing anything about the real world. Even making a relationship with anyone was difficult. Over the years I have been used by others through my lack of experience and ignorance. When you grow up without love it is difficult to show it to others the reason being you feel you might be rejected yet again.
This is a sad story, but expect there are many others who have an even sadder tale to tell about their experience during the war.!

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