BBC Radio Cumbria

Wed 9th Sept 09

….celebrating the discovery of some old bloomers of Queen Victoria's - with a 50-inch waistband!

Queen Victoria was not amused
to hear her lingerie abused
- cried, "Gordon, I used to adoria.
Now I simply deploria!"

(Sue, email)

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Just for kick's I thought I'd try on Queen Vic's nix
(Jim, text, in the style of The Undertones)

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On a washing day out in Pretoria,
Big knickers wer hung on the line.
Did they really belong to Victoria?
I'm certainly glad they weren't mine!

(anon, text)
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And a couple of my own....

YOUR nix may be small and nifty -
HERS measured inches, full fifty.
If you were Queen Victoria,
We'd probably see a lot moria…

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The Albert Hall
May have room for a ball
But not as much room as
Victoria's bloomers...

Mon 7th Sept 09

In New Guinea, there now lives a rat,
They say it's as big as a cat.
It was found in the jungle -
Did the nature team bungle,
By misnaming a large brown fur hat?