Masculine/Feminine
Congratulations to Russell for getting the ‘Best Newcomer’ at the Comedy Awards. Well done, well done.
What about that huge snake that got dragged out hissing and squirming onstage tenuously linked to Matt Willis ‘the king of the jungle’ giving an award? How odd to see King Willis, Jonathan Ross and an animal handler (who looked like he couldn’t handle stairs) all grappling with the serpent like it was a ladder in the ‘Chuckle Brothers’. Now, I’m not Steve Irwin’s ghost but I don’t think an awards ceremony is the natural domain of a giant snake. I think they’re into swamps and trees more than glittery envelopes and tuxedoes; poor thing. Mind you, it’s not the most gratuitous and ‘controversial’ thing they could have done, they could have had a knickerless Britney run out and drop-kick Baby David into the crowd or something. Come on guys try harder.
There’s something about wearing a suit which makes me feel initially uncomfortable, overdressed and Dad-like but then, slowly I get into it. It makes you want to raise a Roger Moore eyebrow, tweak your cufflinks, call women ‘toots’ and smoke a cigar. But what is it about cigars? Put a load of blokes in suits and tuxes and they all start to believe they are either: James Bond, a gangster or Winston Churchill. But what better way to embellish your sartorially-enhanced masculinity than smoking a dried turd? It’s a strange phenomenon but chaps, next time you’re in a suit and you fancy lighting up a ‘Cuban missile’, remember you probably don’t look like Ray Liotta, you just look like Jimmy Saville in a court case.
Now then, now then… the theme for this week’s show is masculinity and femininity. What makes you feel more manly or womanly, and what makes you feel less. Russell is uncharacteristically a fount of football knowledge and wins many man points for this, I however buckle when a cab driver asks me if I saw ‘the match’ because it means I have to say either ‘which match?’ or ‘please, I don’t like football because probably my testicles aren’t properly wired to my body or something, I’m so sorry’. So let us know your thoughts.
Hey there Matt - M or F as the confused chatroom hornytoads cry (obviously "M" in my case ) an interesting topic. I would say that beard stroking is a very manly thing... a thinking manly thing; very much the domain of the academic. Cigars have never done it for me (in the smoking or Clinton sense to be honest!) but understand fully the suit thing. Men aways wear suits on the televisual and cinematic media... It's a strong, smart manly image definately.
..like yourself, Matt, I always feel at a loss when asked about football. Blessed with an artistic leaning and growing up during the years that supporting the wrong team would lead to a beating at school always dissuaded me from really developing that adolesent/adult obsession with "the beautiful game" - c'est la vie. Still, neutrality saved my neck a fair few times - which is good else my head would have no-where to sit.
Oh, and being the mixed up individual I am - any major carpentry or electrical jobs always gives me the feeling of a strong burly workman (but I always end up telling him "no, hands off, I'm not that kind of boy!")
Now... about what makes me feel all womanly... ...no... I'll keep that to meself :-)
have a good evening
(And well done on the award Russell, one of many I hope!)
M.
A girl in our office `Secret Santa` got a She-wee. It is a plastic funnel-type device which you can use to pee standing up. It must be amazing to do this -all of us girls agreed it was a symbol of female liberation (imagine us being able to stand on an offending boyfriends car bonnet and peeing directly onto the roof/windscreen/down the radiator or into the petrol tank -before letting the tires down of course). I wonder what an equivalent `device` blokes could have to emulate female qualities which are an obvious advantage? (Are there any advantages?)
Well done Russell, Im glad you didnt rise to the cheap, back-stabbing comments of Ross and Im glad you said something about the horrific (especially when they dropped it) snake stunt. xx
doing things generally considered manly make me feel more womanly. that might seem a bit counter-intuitive, but bear with me.
by some weird process of osmosis, i seem to know a bit about football despite having no real interest in it whatsoever. blokes who don't know this are always surprised when i'm able to contibute in some meaningful way to a discussion about a game, and the fact they make such a fuss always makes me feel more of a girl than if i had kept my mouth shut.
same thing goes for clothes. sometimes i wear my boyfriend's clothes, and there's not much makes me feel more feminine than the way a man's shirt doesn't fit me properly, when the shoulders come down to your elbows and all that. same thing works in reverse, i think -- sometimes he wears my clothes (which is all much less kinky and 'citing than it may sound, sadly), and i always think the line of his collarbone or his skinny arse are highlighted more by wearing clothes not designed for that than they would be by his own clothes. same thing goes for russell, obviously.
it's all about emphasising the contrasts, i reckon. everything's relative, innit?
What is it about blokes that makes them think they should know everything about,or even be interested in football? I cant comment from a mans point of view, but from a womans point of view there's nothing less manly about a fella who isnt interested in football. Us girls prefer a fella who is interested in, and preferably good at things such as building, tiling, roofing,car maintainence or just general DIY. Much handier to have around the house than someone who knows how much every player in the premiership is worth.
As for that snake, I felt sorry for whoever that was sitting up the front who got an extreme close-up of its face.
Well before i start, i have to say matt i personally thing you looked very dashing in a suit, and congratulations as you have helped Russ through the years!
The things that make me feel less feminie is when men such as yourself have staighter and shinier hair then me. Or the fact Russell can fit into skinnier jeans then over half the population of women in the UK. It common thought i'm sure shared by many women...the trials and tribulations of Russell's jeans!
Hmm, not such a good input, but will ponder the question before i sleep tonight, lol!
Hope it goes well tomorrow boys! x
2 simple things make me feel more womanly:
Lipgloss & Heels
Congratulations on your award Russell - have you displayed it somewhere nice?
Xandra x
eaing meat and the sound of engines makes me feel like a real man. life is so happy when your simple....
roland
Eating a wildly hot curry/vindaloo whilst sweating a lot, and all mucus running out my nose. And finishing the whole lot, with a grim smile of satisfaction, as lesser, weaker eaters look on, struggling. Also not shaving, and not showering for a few days, just living as nature intended.
Both these activities make me feel masculine - is it any wonder i'm single?
Coom
Well done on the Comedy Award, do they let you keep them or is it like when you win stuff at school and you have to give it back after a year?
I always feel more feminine when I'm all dressed up in a posh dress with good hair and make up. I feel masculine when I'm out shoe shopping with my huge size 10 feet. Or when my hands are bigger than a bloke, which happens quite a lot... Damn living so near to Sellafield
Laura
xx
Howdy Matt (Who looked lovely in his tux)!
For some reason, going to football matches makes me feel really girly. It might be because almost everyone else there's a guy, so being one of the few girls makes you feel extra girly. Also you wear really cute jumpers and scarves which always makes me feel girly. Also, tap dancing makes me feel girly, no idea why, I feel more girly doing tap than ballet.
The thing that makes me feel less girly is bizarrely wearing high necked t-shirts. That always makes me feel really fat and mannish, unless they have a logo on the chest, then it's okay...although that could just be some strange OCD thing on my part.
And Bravo Mr Brand! You were excellent at the awards, and you deserved that shiny, shiny award.
Bubi!
Alex
xxx
Matt, what is about blokes and suits eh? My boyfriend is exactly the same. In fact, he's convinced himself that he can be like David Tennant, prancing around pretending to be Doctor Who. I wish I'd never bought him that sonic screwdriver toy now.
So if that makes him feel manly, what makes me feel feminine? It's got to be sexy underwear. Although with the bloke being off in the land of Who, I tend to have to buy my own.
Having a hangover always makes me feel less feminine - although big black sunglasses can hide a multitude of sins I feel.
P.s. Well done at the awards Russell (are you fed up of hearing that yet?!) And what was going on with that bloody snake?!
What makes me feel like a real woman? To be desired by a beautiful man. And what makes me feel like Dot Cotton? To be ignored by one, it really is that basic.
When looking into football hooliganism, blood samples were taken from men before and after a match and a significant rise in testosterone was noted, so that explains why so many of them associate football with feeling macho. It’s kind of tribal and very unattractive so if you’re looking to score man points, go and watch a good tennis match, it’s a lot more classy.
Well done indeed on Russell’s comedy award, but it might have been easier to feel really happy for him, had he not looked so unhappy himself, was I the only one to notice that or is my warped mind playing tricks on me again? Surely the grotesque snake stunt or the cruel gibes from Mr Ross were not the cause of the black mood? My money’s on suppressed fury for missing out on the stand up nomination or perhaps the anti climax of finally being accepted into the cheesy world of celebrity. Whatever the reason, a troubled soul seemed to lurk behind those black eyes. Maybe an explanation will be given on the broadcast?
Hi Matt Trev and Russ,
I would have to say the times I feel most feminine when I had the opportunity to pick a lovely prom dress, shoes, jewellery and the required lingerie for my style of dress. Mind you it also helps when you get a lovely comment off a young man, instead of fancy shag, a word i also particularly hate. It would be a lot nicer if they said 'you are so beautiful, would you like to make love to me?' A bit of charm and effort goes a long way. However, a bit of sauciness also makes you feel feminine, especially wneh discussing it with a load of men, who often seem embarassed by it.
Congrats on your awards russell, maybe you could get the suns changed to 'most charismatic and stylish lover', something your mum may like to say.
Thanks for keep me entertained while i'm wrapping the christmas pressies xx
Trevor! What a completely sexist thing to say!
One time while out with a few friends, a man wanted to start a fight on one of my male friends. As he was very drunk, he was about to be respond when i grabbed his hand, kissed him, and led him to where the club where the rest of our mates had headed. A kiss soon gets a bloke to prevent entering a fight, as a bit of feminine intervention soon gets them away, even when theres no sex involved!
I have never been able to wear high heels. As soon as I put them on I not only resemble a cut-price drag queen but also stagger around like a drunkard.
What is wrong with me? How do other women wear high heels? Am I never to experience the joy of defined calf muscles and pert buttocks?
Cruel fashion, how you mock me.
The question is, was this the result of the crowd chanting their new song, "Upton Park"? Should we not be told?
https://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/6164463.stm
Drinking from a pint glass and saying the word "fart" do not make me feel feminine at all, so I avoid doing/saying both at all costs. Drinking from a cocktail glass with sparklers and umbrellas, etc makes me feel girly and if I have to use the word, I say, "boff"!
One of my friends who is of female orientation has a habit of twisting her imaginary beard around her finger. Goes to show that beard stroking (or twirling) is not just for the males, but for the slightly bonkers females too.
hey you crazy cats,
i always feel really manly when i'm wearing a big coat, i'm quite small when i'm coatless.
luv the show
Hi Guys great show (I just caught it). Call me macho and male, but after listening to the show I now really want to hear the violent version of Uptown Girl that russ keeps mentioning. If it's any good I'll sing it!
Up the 'ammers!!!!
Sitting on my fat lardy arse all day infront of a computer screen or telly makes me feel manly.
Grr.
Take care and have a nice christmas,
Sean
Congrats to Russell on his award, he really deserved it:)
Also congrats on him winning Shagger Of The Year, I'm sure he's very proud of that achievement!
Also well done Matt on writing these blogs, poor you doing all the hard work while Russell sits on his backside, laughing at you lol! No Russell works hard really:)
Take care all at radio 2, your doing a fine job!
Kirstenxx
My most masculine moments occur when somebody asks me directions. Especially when I know where the want to go.
I'm at my most feminine when feeling sorry for tramps; which I do ALOT.
Eating beans straight ot of the tin makes me feel manly...
Oh I should mention that I am actually female. Is that really bad? I just love the metallic tast of cold beans from the tin...