BBC | Radio Ulster

Blonde Ambition

Kim Lenaghan
8 Mar 07, 06:41 PM

Kim Lenaghan I was at the hospital yesterday with my dodgy knee, a cartilage operation is immanent. Before you say a word this has nothing to do with my age – it’s an old injury from my youth coming back to haunt me! Naturally, this being the NHS, the waiting room was fairly packed and ‘the wait’ a lengthy one. I was trying to concentrate on my book but it’s very hard to settle down when you might be called next. So there I was, sitting on the edge of my very hard plastic seat, reading a few lines and trying to surreptitiously size up the other potential patients. Being a joints clinic they seemed to be divided equally into two groups – the sporty types and, well lets just call them the more mature; although since I’ve decided that neither of these descriptions apply to me I should declare a third category, ‘the accident prone’.

Anyway, eventually my name was called and I had to run the gauntlet of plastic chair people, each one eyeing me up and down, as I had done myself to the countless others who had gone before me. Just when I thought I was in the clear I heard the killer comment. At the end of the row one ‘older’ gentlemen turned to another and said “That must be your woman from the radio.” His friend nodded and replied “Aye, it must be. But you know I thought she’d be blonde.” Blonde, blonde….I was stunned! How could I sound blonde? And what does a blonde actually sound like? My poor consultant is talking arthroscopy and the only words I can think of are fluffy, bubbly and silly. Sorry blondes, but while you may have the monopoly on fun you also have a reputation for not being the shiniest pennies in the fountain. I remembered that joke somebody must have told me when I was at school…”What do you call a blonde at university?” Answer…“A cleaner.”

I tried to think of great blondes from history. When you take out Marilyn Monroe, Mae West and Jean Harlow you’re left with Sarah Jessica Parker, Pamela Anderson, Barbara Windsor and, I shudder, Pat Butcher!

So, for the record, and you can check out the picture, I’m kind of a red head and I am proud to be classified with Rita Hayworth, Katherine Hepburn and Jessica Rabbit. Mind you, I would have thought that like all those blondes I mentioned, we’re probably all naturally mousey brown....and even blonde is better than that! But however much I justifiy my roots the question remains…do I really sound blonde?