What are your top parenting tips?

- Do everything the best you can
- Find some enjoyment in everything you do
- Try not to hurt anyone else

That's a really lovely idea of Kate's, and the fact she's now dead must sublime it for her children and make the requests far more powerful.
I would say to my kids (if I had any):
Do what you love till someone pays you for it.
Trust your instincts.
Be yourself and accept that self.
Never judge people - they have the right to be how they want, and so do you.
Keep emotionally open and compassionate towards others, despite the amazing ignorance and stupidness of some people you'll meet!
Beware of people with dogmatic views on religion, no-one knows the answer to god and if they say they do, they are either gullable or psychotic: either way best to avoid!
Life isn't about being "happy" it's impossible to be happy all the time, and without suffering "happiness" has no meaning. Try instead to find PEACE within yourself and do as you would be done by.
Finally, I'd say travel as much as possible and never give up on the inate goodness of the universe.

love your mother and father,love each of your brothers and sisters,if you quarrel still be friends and love your children and feed and clothe them and keep them warm in winter.

I think the most important thing that should be instilled in children (everyone actually!) is consideration for others.

For parents, my top tip is not to actually have any children unless you are prepared to accept the huge responsibility involved in raising them properly.

This is not a rehersal get on with it and enjoy it.
The country does not owe you a living, its your job to go out and make your way in the world
Treat others how you wish to be treated in return, if you are rude you will get rudeness back, if you are polite expect politeness in return.
Always ask before taking anything otherwise people may think you are stealing.
Don't expect to get everything right first time every time, admit mistakes but learn from them, perfect people are boring.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

1. Don't have kids - the world is full.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Britainsnotpleased wrote: Again waste of time have your say. Get real,if you can not think of a better subject for a HYS then get another job.

It's a "waste of time" discussing how best to raise children? This kind of selfish, aggressive, arrogant attitude is exactly what needs to be eradicated from society.

Love your kids!

Sounds obvious but reading the news too many parents don't seem to care and its heartbreaking;
the girls as young as 10 being pressured into sex by gangs and thinking that's normal,
large families living in poverty,
babies in prams being pushed around by chain-smoking abusive and often drunk young mothers.

This doesn't even include physically abusive parents that only make the news if they succeed in killing their babies.

- Always have an inquisitive mind
- Never stop learning - education doesn't end with GCSEs, A-Levels or a degree
- Be prudent financially - it makes life so, so much easier when you grow up
- If uncomfortable, do not succumb to peer pressure
- When you're older, don't give your children ridiculous first names like 'Reef' or 'Finn'

Don't believe what the British media tell you. They usually spin stories to suit their own agenda. (Certainly don't believe the BBC is left wing listen to Nick Robinson, Andrew Neill et al).

Remember we live in an Oligarchy/Plutocracy not a Democracy. The democracy part is a myth to keep the masses happy. We may be allowed to vote to change govt but our govts have limited and less power than the super rich eg Bankers/Media Barons and usually pay homage to them.

Too much money is corrupting.

.. and finally stay decent, honest and honourable and you will attract the same kind of people to you.

If you ABSOLUTLEY insist on doing something you KNOW you shouldn't, plan how not to get caught as well, because I don't like tell you off as much as you don't like listening.

Let's face it... EVERY kid has been deliberately naughty behind their parent's back at some point even if it's only once. It would be better if they didn't in the first place, but that isn't going to happen!

There is reall only one 'rule' or tip, but is might be expressed in various ways -

"Judge not lest ye be judged." Do not assume that you know all the answers, so respect other people and their differing views to your own. Value diversity ... it's what makes the World interesting. What makes you so right???

Beware of religion (see above). Ignore the arrogant, santimonious and self-righteous. Some folk just have to criticise others in order to justify themselves to themselves and feel important.

Treat other people with care, consideration and politeness, even when they don't treat you in the same way. If you really must, revenge is a dish best served cold, but much better to simply treat 'them' with the contempt they deserve.

Your own freedom is diminished by limitations on the freedom of others ... today it's their favoured activity being curtailed, but tomorrow it could be yours. You don't NEED to understand why they wan't to do 'it' or think as they do; it's sufficient that they do.

Wake up everyday determined to be happy

Only do to others what you expect others to do to you

Make your prime ambition to be happy.

Aim for the realistic and achievable

Believe in yourself.

Keep out of debt

Help the community

Plan beforehand

These basically are my ambitions and directives(and what I 'taught' my son).

I have been happy ever since I survived WW2 (that was a bad experience)- achieved all my ambitions with a sense of increasing happiness and fulfilment.

The only poor experience was when I voted for Thatcher and she let me down.

i think the most important thing is to accept your kids is going to be who he is:
you can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink

guide them support them and if they are happy then accept that

my parents never did this it was more like being under saddam H comply with how i think you should live and ac, faily to comply and you will be punished

Advise you kids that when coding the hyperlink from the main HYS page to this debate they should always check that they have not inadvertently put a letter 'v' after the ' .html ' file extension at the end of the link URL or all the people clicking on that link will be diverted to a 404 error page.

Tell them that if they do this at work they may well find that they are sacked.

Dont; have kids unless you can afford them.

Just remember that they are “your kids” and no one else’s, outside of family and friends other people are not interested in what your children do, what their first words are, when they learn to walk, what they are doing at school etc so please stop going on about it at work or down the pub and they do not want to hear them screaming, throwing tantrums, running around like maniacs or generally making a nuisance of themselves in a public place while you are doing the shopping or sitting there enjoying your pint or coffee totally oblivious to the annoyance your little darlings are causing everyone else.

They are your children, they are your responsibility and please do not take them into the workplace, nothing is more annoying then having someone else’s brats running around screaming and shouting or playing on a PC while the rest of us are trying to work.

If you cannot, are incapable or just don’t care how control or discipline your children then just keep them out of other peoples hair and don’t molly cuddle them, life’s tough, let them get a few knocks on the way.

And yes I do have children, I have 2 grown up well adjusted sons in very good jobs, and no I did not hit them I just had to raise my voice and scolded them when and where it was necessary and when they got older I tried to steer them in the right direction without imposing my will on them, you can advise them but you can never tell them what to do, they have to make their own mistakes on the way up.

I repeat they are YOUR KIDS and no one else’s; I am NOT INTERESTED in your kids, you had them you look after them, they are YOUR responsibility and NO ONE else’s...

What are your top parenting tips?

Frequent, unprotected sex.

You'll be a parent in next to no time.

1. Don't ever get into debt, other than a mortgage.
2. Pay off credit card balances in full every month.
3. Formalize relationships, especially when children are involved,
by marriage.
4. Never be taken in by insurance and pensions salesmen.
5. Provide for your retirement - no government or insurance company will.

0. Sety clear rules with clear response to breaking them.
1. Only do unto others that which you would have done onto yourself.
2. Treat all others with respect regardless how they treat you.
3. Best deterrent for bad behavour isnt smacking, its the fear of being smacked. You have to use violence to instill fear.
4. Let your actions be the model you would like your children to represent.
5. Zero tollerance of poor behaviour.

As a parent of 3, We live by the rules above, suprisingly we have fun and great time. We know the following, play by the rules = Fun, trips out etc,

break the rules = doing boring thngs.

Everyone seems to have the right to have children yet few seem to accept the responsiblity of having them.

Sadly...

A few "nice words" that could come out of a book mean nothing.

Most the suggestions here sounds like they have directly taken 10 tips out of a "big book of parenting tips".... nonsensical rubbish.

Top tips in reality.

Discipline children (within reasion), as long as its fair.

Lead by example, no point telling you're children to act in ways you do not yourself.

Children by nature emulate authority figures, become that authority figure & act with compassion, kindness, consideration & the chances are you're children will also.

Don't act like bickering, materialistic, selfish, complaining, destructive morons at home

The rest of the things should fall into line.

Insist on children saying please and thank you - always.
Do not give them pocket money unless they have earned it. You get nothing for nothing in this world unless you are a Labour politician.
Tell them to ignore the liberal nonsense spouted by their Guardian reading teachers.
Read to them every day and tell them to question the text.
Teach them to play a musical instrument.
Refuse to allow them a Xbox or Playstation.
Tell them you love them all the time.
Teach them the Krav Maga system of self-defence.

"21. At 2:25pm on 01 Oct 2010, milvusvestal wrote:
1. Don't ever get into debt, other than a mortgage.
2. Pay off credit card balances in full every month.
3. Formalize relationships, especially when children are involved,
by marriage.
4. Never be taken in by insurance and pensions salesmen.
5. Provide for your retirement - no government or insurance company will."

That is by far the worst list of parenting advice I have ever heard, this sounds more like a list of requirements for a loan application.

I hope you don't have any children.

There are more important things in life than money*

More news at 11.

*Money = (an artificially created value system)

What are your top parenting tips? Don't have kids unless you're prepared to invest your time, money and energy into giving them a decent and meaning upbringing. Don't expect the state to provide everything for your children; it won't and nor should it either.

Spend time with your kids, let them know they are loved and important and put them right when they go wrong.

Allow your children to take risks and discover for themselves that sometimes it works, and sometimes it hurts.

19. At 2:11pm on 01 Oct 2010, Alan Baker wrote:
Just remember that they are “your kids” and no one else’s, outside of family and friends other people are not interested in what your children do, what their first words are, when they learn to walk, what they are doing at school etc so please stop going on about it at work or down the pub and they do not want to hear them screaming, throwing tantrums, running around like maniacs or generally making a nuisance of themselves in a public place while you are doing the shopping or sitting there enjoying your pint or coffee totally oblivious to the annoyance your little darlings are causing everyone else.

They are your children, they are your responsibility and please do not take them into the workplace, nothing is more annoying then having someone else’s brats running around screaming and shouting or playing on a PC while the rest of us are trying to work.

If you cannot, are incapable or just don’t care how control or discipline your children then just keep them out of other peoples hair and don’t molly cuddle them, life’s tough, let them get a few knocks on the way.

And yes I do have children, I have 2 grown up well adjusted sons in very good jobs, and no I did not hit them I just had to raise my voice and scolded them when and where it was necessary and when they got older I tried to steer them in the right direction without imposing my will on them, you can advise them but you can never tell them what to do, they have to make their own mistakes on the way up.

I repeat they are YOUR KIDS and no one else’s; I am NOT INTERESTED in your kids, you had them you look after them, they are YOUR responsibility and NO ONE else’s...

A bit harsh, but I understand the sentiment in one place: the pub. Its not a place for kids, its for adults, there are plenty of kid-friendly eating houses, don't take them into the pub.

7. At 12:32pm on 01 Oct 2010, Reasoned Rants wrote:
1. Don't have kids - the world is full.

If you can have children and chose not to you are missing out on life's one genuine experience.

All this user's posts have been removed.Why?

Don't believe anything your mother tells you unless you can prove that it's true.

Get in first and once you are there help others.

Get an education and do not waste an opertunity.

Always strive to be the best.

Do not get into debt that you cannot write off easily.

Pay as little tax as you possibly can.

Buy low and sell high.

Do not drop litter.

Keep off HYS.

Never give your children rules that you did not follow yourself.

2 parents, one earning the crust the other looking after the family. Doesn't matter which one does what.

Don't buy drugs.

...Become a celebrity and they give you them for free!

(Sorry, I can't remember the exact quote)

"Refuse to allow them a Xbox or Playstation.

Teach them the Krav Maga system of self-defence."

You want to deny them an XBox and teach them how to beat you up?

That's a brave combination.

Eat or be eaten.

If you can't be careful, don't get caught.

Know the score, be discrete.

Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

Rules are made to be broken.

Question authority at every turn.

Minimal effort is enough to achieve results.

"24. At 3:00pm on 01 Oct 2010, Edwin Schrodinger wrote:
Insist on children saying please and thank you - always.
Do not give them pocket money unless they have earned it. You get nothing for nothing in this world unless you are a Labour politician.
Tell them to ignore the liberal nonsense spouted by their Guardian reading teachers.
Read to them every day and tell them to question the text.
Teach them to play a musical instrument.
Refuse to allow them a Xbox or Playstation.
Tell them you love them all the time.
Teach them the Krav Maga system of self-defence.
"

Yes, sound advice...


* Teach them not to listen to those dam lefties & blindly follow Tory ideals!!!!

"Tell them to ignore the liberal nonsense spouted by their Guardian reading teachers."

But get them to question what they are told!

"Read to them every day and tell them to question the text."

Hang on a moment........ contradiction alert.....

..
.

We have a winner for the

"Stupid Conservative bringing up anti-labour policies in a discussion about something completely unrelated" Award.

Congratulations sir.

\o/

I await you're reply;

(Most likely along the lines below)

"HOW NOW TO SPEND MONEY LIKE LABOUR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL I R CLEVA & GET MY POLITICAL VOUS FROM DA SUNZ"

"33. At 3:15pm on 01 Oct 2010, Graham wrote:
Get in first and once you are there help others.

Get an education and do not waste an *****opertunity*****.

Always strive to be the best.

Do not get into debt that you cannot write off easily.

Pay as little tax as you possibly can.

Buy low and sell high.

Do not drop litter.

Keep off HYS.

Never give your children rules that you did not follow yourself."

**********************************************************************

I would also teach spelling.

opertunity = opportunity?

Also less tax dodging.

Parenting tips?
Please remember these are your children, not accessories & not something to be ignored when you get fed up of them. Be aware that parenting is a full time job & only you take responsibility for your children.
Play with your kids (no, not like THAT!), board games, dress up, make believe , whatever. Read to them & stimulate their minds & imagination. Don't use the TV as a babysitter.
Above all when in public pay careful attention to your children, the theme park you went to, the shop you were in, the train you were on, none of these have any responsibility to you or your children beyond making sure their facilities are safe. I've been working in child friendly shops before when mum has dumped the kid (sometimes as young as 7) at the door & said "right, you play in there for an hour, I'm going to sainsburys" !!!
If this sounds like you, please remember the shop isn't in charge of your kids, you are. Apart from all the obvious trouble an unaccompanied child can get in to, they are not to know if "uncle Jimmy" is a real relation or not & it won't be their fault if your child goes missing.

Personally I don't plan on having kids, I'm only too aware of the lifestyle change & it's not a compromise I'm willing to make. I don't think I could devote the time & effort required, plus I enjoy staying up till 2am on a Friday night playing warcraft with my hubby & drinking wine, then getting up about 10 on a saturday with a massive fry up to even consider the patter of tiny feet. However if I ever do have kids I think my top 5 tips will be.
1)As long as what makes you happy doesn't hurt anyone else DO IT.
2)School is not the be all & end all of your existance, the persona you create/get lumbered with there will cease to exist by the time you hit about 17.
3)Try your hardest to treat people fairly & be generous with your time & your friendship.
4)Take time to appreciate the good things.
5)Go to Glastonbury at least once.

Think really carefully about what you are bringing them into - overpopulation is real.

Spend every penny you get ... the state will provide.

In short, to have a sense of fufillment whatever one does.

My daughter turned 14 today.

The first thing I wanted to teach her was a love of learning, the sheer joy of finding stuff out. She's managed that :)

Some of the other things I've tried to teach her haven't come out as well. She's not yet gained the art of using ritual-like sequences as a way of keeping organised, or that of focusing on the thing that she's doing at the time.

She has, however, developed a talent at model-making, so her birthday dinner will have to wait until she gets home from Games Workshop where she's building a mammoth Warhammer model.

At 3:00pm on 01 Oct 2010, Edwin Schrodinger wrote:
Do not give them pocket money unless they have earned it. You get nothing for nothing in this world unless you are a Labour politician.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm no labour politician, but the thought of giving my children only what they have earned has never crossed my mind. There are a good many times in life when people get 'nothing for nothing'. It's called fair shares - one hundred percent giving without thought of recompense. It works for my family, which is well balanced and considerate to the needs of others. If we only ever get what we earn, or deserve, we would be poor indeed.

Good parenting is all about giving children love, security and a decent moral compass. It also involves honesty and true compassion when there are the inevitable family rows. Do perfect parents exist - I doubt it - so have the humility to admit to being wrong when necessary. Always encourage children with any form of creativity/talent.

Hahaha....so true!!

At 12:34pm on 01 Oct 2010, Magi Tatcher wrote:
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

----------------------

Hahaha.....so true!!

1) love your children unconditionally
2) show them you value them
3) listen to them
4) encourage them
5) let them grow and gain independence
6) Show them by example how to live a full, interesting life withour hurting others

The best advice I had from my father was not to drink alcohol until I was 21. I never tasted it till I was 26 and I don't need it now, unlike a lot of people.
My mother threatened to smash up with a sledge hammer, any motorbike I brought home.
Aged about 10, I won a cigarette in an arcade once and took it home. My mother insisted that I tried to smoke it. 2 puffs were enough, never again.
If I had any kids, I think I would act as my parents did.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

All this user's posts have been removed.Why?

There are some very saddening and cynical comments on this page.

It's going to be a while until I'm a parent because, a) because I'm just 21 and b) my boyfriend & I want to be married and make sure we can provide for our kids before we have them.
However I hope that when we do have them, we will teach them to be kind, considerate, open and non-judgemental. Also to be responsible, polite and to try their best. And to enjoy life, not taking themselves too seriously, because you only get one life.

We hope to be jumping in puddles, getting muddy, eating cake, having tickle fights and showing our kids the world. And being there for them whenever they need us, encouraging them and letting them be themselves.

I don't care if anybody thinks it's rose-tinted and idealistic, but I want to enjoy my family.
As the quote goes, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"

All this user's posts have been removed.Why?

a love of life and a life of love

Take the money and get the family out of the UK before it turns into a 3rd world backwater resembling Zimbabwe - don't worry about leaving me behind!

Work hard and do your best.
Be polite and well-mannered.
Treat others the way you'd want to be treated.
Have fun.

The best things you can teach your children is to be the best you can in everything you do.Be tolerant and understanding of others regardless.Learn to survive which means teaching the basics in survival because in these uncertain times you might need it sooner than you think.Respect elders even if you dont always agree with them.Never regret anything because we all make mistakes.

Treat each child differently. they are special individuals, not 'the kids' 'the boys' 'the girls' they are special and different and treat them as such.

What you do they will do, if you slap they will, if you shout they will shout, if you tease they will, if you bully they will etcetc.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

- Mark Twain

Enjoy life. Do what you want. Don't regret anything because at the time what you did was exactly what you wanted to do.

Spend time with your kids. That's the greatest gift you can give them.

Work Ethic...the only barrier to success is lack of hard work.

Don't aspire to jobs just because of status, ego or money. Aspire to do the job you enjoy.

Don't be in a hurry to join the 'rat race'. Seek to explore and understand as much of the world as possible before deciding what it is you want to do.

Understand that the real value of money is independence, not the ‘novelty effect’ of things that you can use it to buy.

Don’t succumb to worry or fretting. Control the controllable(s), and then let fate take its course.

Never stop seeking to learn, you CAN teach old dogs new tricks!

"Rubbish Girl" at No 40 - you may not intend to have children, but if you ever do, it sounds to me as though you are going to be a great parent - except for Glastonbury.............

My advice? Listen to your child.
Talk to you child (this does not mean scream at him/her).
Do not, ever, tell your child to do something "because I say so." It is NOT a reason. Always give reasons, even very simple ones, then the child will understand why you want him/her to do something or behave in a certain way.
Do not have endless pointless rules for the sake of it. That is what is wrong with Britain and the world. Too many rules are unnecessary.
If you follow the above from the word go, there will never be a need to smack your child. Do not do it, it is not clever, it does not "make a point" and if your parents did it to you, then yes, it DID harm you because you are now doing it to your child.

I am the father of a delightful daughter, now grown up, who gave my wife and me endless pleasure and has never really been a "problem" in any sense of the word, so I know what I am talking about.

Oh yes, nearly forgot - DO NOT let the child gawp at the TV all the time.

Turn off the telly before going to bed

9. At 12:36pm on 01 Oct 2010, luskentyre wrote:

Britainsnotpleased wrote: Again waste of time have your say. Get real,if you can not think of a better subject for a HYS then get another job.

It's a "waste of time" discussing how best to raise children? This kind of selfish, aggressive, arrogant attitude is exactly what needs to be eradicated from society.

Discussing how best to raise children? A very worthwhile subject for discussion, it's just a shame that so many parents aren't joining in because they are too busy shopping for their next car & holiday.

well, it's simple for me . Listen to your kids and enjoy the rewards!!!!!!!

1. learn how to play like children (which statement is true to you? you don't play because you are getting old or you are getting old because you don't play?) 2. Live as if there is no tomorrow 3. learn as if you are going to live forever 4. be kind and respectful to everyone because you'll never know that person may one day save your life 5. don't get jealous what you don't have but be grateful of what you have 6. why not do something that you've never done before?

What are your top parenting tips?


EASY;

Get married first.

30. At 3:11pm on 01 Oct 2010, John Sparks wrote:
7. At 12:32pm on 01 Oct 2010, Reasoned Rants wrote:
1. Don't have kids - the world is full.

If you can have children and chose not to you are missing out on life's one genuine experience.
---------------------------------------

I disagree. By not having children I am actually giving myself more time to enjoy life's *many* genuine and amazing experiences. And why would I want children when I don't like them?

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Leave this awful country.

33 graham wrote:
Get an education and do not waste an opertunity.

Also learn to spell correctly when giving advice about education!!

..observe the animal kingdom! Animals bring up their offspring without the need for all the support we humans seem to need! The human race is just bad at some things! Parenting tips would be , mum teaches son how to cook, and dad teaches daughter how to hang wallpaper..for a start! Oh and one parent to be present at all times during a child's formative years. (or just don't even think about having children)

for goodness sake dont treat people as you would expect to be treated
you will always be an also ran if you do

sieze the day and take advantage of others weaknesses

Madness is inherited, you get it from your children!

Knownought

My advice would be: Leave Britain as soon as you can.

I don't know anybody who is so perfect to be qualified to give advice to others and as for giving advice to the family, well.......

Some brilliant advice being offered here. Unfortunately, it guarantees all of our children no future whatsoever. In Britain today, the right advice to give would seem to be:

1) Trample over everyone else you possibly can to get to the top.

2) Don't bother with school or education: if you're a boy, learn football: if you're a girl, sleep with as many footballers as you can.

3) Whatever you do, don't grow old. Use any and all artificial means possible to remain looking "25".

4) The Golden Rule: if you're not on TV or in the papers, you're a failure.

1. Be yourself

2. Use every sense you have as if you have just discovered them

3. Cherish and nurture child like innocence.

4. Observe in yourself what you accuse others of.

5. Self control, self belief, self esteem.

The kids should be encouraged/helped to:
Enjoy nature at its very/pristine best;
Act like responsible good human beings wherever they go;
Go in pursuit of their natural talent, after schooling is finished;
Have a compassionate/global outlook wherever necessary;
Adopt a healthy way of life.

And the top five tips for good parenting/guardianship could include:
1.Providing responsible but intelligent supervision.
2.Ensuring Safety & Security.
3.Imparting good basic/social education.
4.Stressing upon the values of discipline & self-respect.
5.Developing an all-round personality (general knowledge/skills etc.)

I too am 37 although Male. I have terminal Pancreatic Cancer and i have probably seen my last Christmas. I am married to a wonderful lady and have a 15 month old son. I have created a similar document. It is a wonderful idea, not only does it give advice from a male role model but it is a great form of therapy for my self. I have also bought my little boy birthday presents up to his 18 birthday. For his 18th birthday i have had my vintage Omega watch engraved to him.

Spend lots of enjoyable time outdoors being part of nature. Tell the truth. Be sociable, encourage community, compassion and responsibility. Whatever happens always be there for them. Encourage creativity and have fun. Keep learning how to love them and let go at the same time, one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience. Always know that things change, nothing stays the same.

Don’t just believe what you are told

Think for yourself

1 Enjoy your life to the max !!!! You only have ONE LIFE, so as long as not hurting anyone JUST DO IT!

2 (How do I follow number 1) Don't save for a rainy day! Don't go in the red, yes, save up for what you want, but don't save up .... for 20-30 plus years from now, spend it! So for example, if it's for an item costing £1,000 save up for that, them buy your item. Don't save without an aim.

3 Be as kind as you can, to other people, don't look down on others.

4 Remember to be thankful, we in Great Britian (or wherever you go in life,) have ALOT to be greatful for.

5 Don't forgot the Lord, while you are still young, God & the Bible never changes, He & the Bible will still be waiting when you are ready.

1) Question everything (including my advice to you).
2) Work hard, work consistently, set goals.
3) You'll never get rich working for someone else.
4) Judge people by what they do, not what they say.
5) Empty vessels rattle the loudest.
6) Whatever they say, the awful truth is that employers care about profits first, customers second and you third. How could it be otherwise?
7) If you go into any situation with your fists metaphorically clenched, you are far more likely to get into a fight. Beware assumptions and be aware that those who are actively looking for offence usually find it.
8) Happiness comes, not from having what you want, but from wanting what you have. (Rabbi Schatel)
9) Be open, honest, kind and straightforward with people and most of them will respond the same, most of the time.
10) The people who are hardest to get to know are usually the ones it is most worth knowing. The reverse of this can also often be true.
11) To be gentle, tolerant, wise and reasonable requires a goodly portion of toughness. (Peter Ustinov)
12) Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass. (John Vanburgh).

Alan T

At 9:47pm on 01 Oct 2010, Reasoned Rants wrote:
30. At 3:11pm on 01 Oct 2010, John Sparks wrote:
7. At 12:32pm on 01 Oct 2010, Reasoned Rants wrote:
1. Don't have kids - the world is full.

If you can have children and chose not to you are missing out on life's one genuine experience.
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I disagree. By not having children I am actually giving myself more time to enjoy life's *many* genuine and amazing experiences. And why would I want children when I don't like them?

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I used to think that I didn't like children, but I married and we had some kids of our own and I realised it was other people's children I didn't like!

BE A PARENT DO NOT BE A FRIEND
This sounds a little silly but there are far to many people that attempt to be the childs friend.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Everything a parent does is automatically accepted as acceptable social behaviour.

Teach them to QUESTION EVERYTHING

The most important lesson is this:-
All of human behaviour is a choice including your beliefs, you are not a puppet. Everything you do is a choice, how you choose to or not to react to any given stimulus is completely and totally up to you.
Example

Buddha was talking to two students and one became angry and aggressive and was swearing and shouting at the Buddha but he did not respond,
when the angry student left the other asked " why did you not respond to his aggression" and the Buddha replied " if I was to give you a gift and you refused it to whom would that gift belong."
Everything we do is a choice

All man made items and systems are a choice and can be changed at any time we see fit to change them.

...Oh, and another useful one...(related to jusdge peopel by what they do, not what they say..).

“In great matters men try to show themselves to their best advantage; in small matters they show themselves as they really are.”
Nicholas Chamfort (1741-1794)

Whether you like it or not, your their role model.

Tell your children,every day,that you love them and they are better than they think they are and nothing is ever as bad as they think it will be, we always over estimate a bad situation.

religion is for people who believe in myths and fairy tales

Science is for people who prefer evidence and reason and logic

Free does not exist, you just haven't read the small print yet!

If it sounds to good to be true, it is

If you are being promised something by a politician, they are lying to get you to consent to something you do not want.

Humans are approximately 200'000yrs old as a species, monotheistic religions are 6 thousand years old maximum. which means that the species got along just fine for 194'000 before the invention of a single all powerful god.

1. Do not use the word “parenting”, nor practice “parenting”.
2. Be their parent, not their pal; they have pals already.
3. Give your children your time, not your money.
4. Give them a reasonable framework of rules, within which they may act.
5. Be consistent: if you say it, mean it.

"What are your top parenting tips"? is the HYS question.

Posts #15/20/23/26/27/85 are worth a look at.

In addition, be consistent and tune your parent brain for lies/fantasy as parenting is SO not like the popular BBC "Out numbered"!

If, as a parent, you can't, won't, don't put in the effort or wonder what the fuss is all about - and it comes back to bite those around you ... so what? Then it bites you .... because it always will?

Lastly, but not least, if you don't know where your children are; or at least a 'rough' idea of what they are doing, or who they are with by stealth with other parents who care like you - then don't be surprised/shocked or complain/whinge when they finally become teenagers and you, as a parent suddenly 'wake-up' and take an interest WHEN it affects you - it's at least 10 years too late!

Take no notice of the television and what rubbish it pumps out the same with papers as they are all the same think for yourself and talk to others many others from all races
Travel far and wide help others do not hurt those who can not fight back
Do not take any notice of any Govenment in power as they are their to fill the parties boots and bring unfair laws in against you not them
Share what you can with others and only have children if you really like them and will look after and care for them for a long time if not DO NOT HAVE THEM even if you are rich and famous they are not a design item
Do not marry because the family expects it marriage is not a cure all for life and is often wrong for many people . It has nothing to do with God but business and the church which is a business really.
To those out there who want sex with children and think its what they want its not it what you want and its against the law and you will suffer. Learn to read people as not all people are what they seem teach children about these people they are not mad but abusive and they come in all walks of life.

Don't have children unless you want to spend time with them. Teach them discipline with love and be consistent so they know where they stand.

Teach them if they want money when they get to a working age (13 +) they have to go out and start earning it or do jobs at home for some reward.

Don't let them expect you to be a taxi to them or their friends, let them use the bus or train and teach them to be safe, treat others as they would people to treat them and be polite. Respect their elders and they will be respected.


Don't expect others to mind your children (unless you work and they are minded by a registered person/Grandparents), you had children so look after them yourself.

Graphis wrote:
Some brilliant advice being offered here. Unfortunately, it guarantees all of our children no future whatsoever. In Britain today, the right advice to give would seem to be:

1) Trample over everyone else you possibly can to get to the top.

2) Don't bother with school or education: if you're a boy, learn football: if you're a girl, sleep with as many footballers as you can.

3) Whatever you do, don't grow old. Use any and all artificial means possible to remain looking "25".

4) The Golden Rule: if you're not on TV or in the papers, you're a failure.


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Well, I am glad I did not follow your advice with my 3. They are hard-working, polite and I am immensely proud of them.

What are your top parenting tips?

If you are more interested in who will pay for the childcare while you are at work, don't have any.

Top 5 tips:
1. Do not have any children
2-5. Ditto above

Re No. 25.

Obviously, this person is steeped in debt, sells life assurance, and probably hasn't provided for his pension. The point I was making is that thinking ahead, rather than sticking your head in the sand, is the right way to prepare for your future.

Money is important, whether you care to admit it or not. And why talk about a loan application when I've said very clearly that debt beyond a mortgage is not the right thing. Can't you read?

DON'T get caught!