HAPPY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL. XXX
T'was the show before Christmas...
Archives for December 2006
I WANT DOESN'T GET
Up early this morning, must get home – ha ha, only joking.
Just had a fight with the tea bag, it was one of those with string attached, which are fine for dunking but once a tea spoon gets involved, forget it. The string from the bag became almost inextricably tangled with me spoon, the last thing one needs to have to deal with, when one can barely open an eye, let alone solve a puzzle.
Enzo has barely stirred all night, I’ve just discovered the reason for this...
AN AUDIENCE WITH MERLIN
My goodness me, the Once a Month Club took it’s toll last night…
IT’S NOT HOW MESSY THE KITCHEN IS, IT’S HOW FANTASTIC THE DINNER LOOKS.
No one knows that the plane’s going to crash until the pilot tells them so. That’s a theory I’ve gone with on many an occasion. Then hopefully the pilot can avert disaster with no one any the wiser. Last night’s show was very much like this, the number of times we nearly missed cues and records and reads and callers.
In the old days…
SINATRA: YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE BUT IF YOU’VE LIVED LIKE ME, ONCE IS ENOUGH ! (I know exactly what he means, here we go then.)
What a weekend !
Full as an egg. Woke up this morning barely able to open my eyes, they had the heaviness of those of a teenager, you know, when you’re dog tired.
A brief resume….
WELL I NEVER KNEW THIS...
So yesterday, I took a phone call from a lady called JANET.
JANET, JANET, JANET.
It’s a funny name JANET, say it to yourself a few times, look at it. It’s a weird one, nothing wrong with it and if your name’s JANET then good for you but it sort of doesn’t work.
It’s the ..et bit. JAN is cool but there’s no need for the et.
It’s like CHRIS, very simple, light. Why do we need the …topher ? ..
Topher, what the heck is topher ? I think someone was having a right laugh.
Anyway the reason Janet called was…
GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON TODAY ?
Morning y’all,
Well God certainly got us all going didn’t he ? It’s nice to know he’s not lost his touch !
Gorgeous sunrise today almost like London was on fire and then suddenly boom, send in the clouds, there has to be clouds, lah, lah, lah, lah, lah.
Do you ever get a waft of magic…
….when I was little, when we were all little, I imagine we all had very few possessions but how much did we love the things we did have ?
I used to get extremely excited about a brand new golf ball. I used to get one for Christmas. A tangerine, an apple and a golf ball, the last three things in my Christmas pillow case, right down at the bottom.
I loved that golf ball. Just thinking about it now makes my tummy go funny like thinking of a past love.
There he was in his wrapper. The Dunlop 65 ddh, his dimples perfect, his skin, soft and shiny, his coat whiter than the freshest snow. This ball was to be my friend, this ball would win me a competition, there was no way this ball could be involved in an ugly shot. I wouldn’t be playing with him for a while yet. It would have to be a special day and of course we would have to prepare ourselves for the chance we might be parted.
Whenever that day would come, as come it must, nobody would know just how special that first tee shot would be, for there would be my ball putting his life on the line, a brave soldier volunteering for the most dangerous of duties. We’d spent many hours together. If I woke up in the morning, there he would be right by my bedside, as I drifted off sleep, he’d be the last thing that I saw .
So why did it all mean so much ?
Because like the golf ball, I felt so little, I felt like the world had no idea how much this golf ball meant to me and how I didn’t have another one and how if I lost him that would be it, he’d be gone for ever, I would have lost my little friend. I felt like the world didn’t understand.
And so, inevitably, the day would come, the feeling would arise that today was the day. And then the shot would come, the duff or the hack or the slice that would cause us to be parted and I would be sad and the rest of the round would mean nothing because he’d be gone, on his own somewhere, deep in the rough grass, left to fend for himself, his shiny white coat beginning the long and painful process of decomposition. I’d betrayed him, I didn’t have to hit him that morning, I could have kept him for ever. I could have handed him on to my grand kids, in my will, the most valuable thing on the list.
The golf ball that was never hit.
But this, I suppose, would have been to have deprived him of what he was meant to be… for a golf ball that was never hit, was never a golf ball at all.
I still miss the little fella though..
x.
.
HERE COMES THAT FEELING AGAIN
Well God certainly got us all going didn’t he ? It’s nice to know he’s not lost his touch !
Gorgeous sunrise today almost like London was on fire and then suddenly boom, send in the clouds, there has to be clouds, lah, lah, lah, lah, lah.
Do you ever get a waft of magic…
OH LORDY, DON'T CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU.
I can honestly say as I look out of my bedroom window, mornings do not get more beautiful than this.
The sun is low, of course it’s winter. The light is golden. The shadows long.
I have one window in my bedroom, oak framed, stained glass, a straw blind that’s pulled down but entirely transparent…
THINGS ARE STACKING UP RIGHT NOW DON'T YOU FIND ?
HELLO little ones
A bleak and blustery morning indeed and if the weathermen are to be believed, there’s worse to come, much worse. The next few days, be prepared to snuggle in deep, big telly and book nights, with nice food and early to bed. Sometimes the planet needs a few days to let it’s hair down. We should make the most of this enforced incarceration and rest up ready for Christmas.
Three things on the agenda today…
CHEESE AND ONION SANDWICH
Well I’m in the bed where I belong once more.
Back home in North London, listening again on Listen Again.
Doing what you do, listening to the show whilst working… JIMI HENDRIX, ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER, God we play some great music.
It was 26 years ago today…
THE FINAL FRONT EAR
Oh nooooooooooo. It’s nearly over.
Last night was the first time since Sunday that we could literally draw breath We arrived at today’s venue, WILTSHIRE, just before eleven o’clock last night, which meant we were already on site for today so could relax and let what little is left of our hair down..
We stayed up till…
SCHMUCKS ON TOUR
Morning everyone, how are you all ? So, a blog from a plane, here we are over the Irish Sea, on our way from Belfast to Cardiff.
The Kanes’ house, what a blast, what a family and again what awesome food.
Do we have any listeners that aren’t nice and what about…
"MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR FLEXIBILITY WHILST YOU CAN,” I SAID TO THE YOUNG MAN IN THE BUNK BELOW
This on the road lark really is a hoot. We are having a whale of a time to tell you the truth.
Last night was so special. The Murdoch family were the absolute nuts. I just wish I could have been a fly on the wall several hours after we left their lovely home. I have a suspicion the party had only just begun. I bet it’s still going on now.
There’s nothing like...
BLINIS & BIKINIS
Well here we are on the road. We’re actually on the road. The Fox was in tears at the airport…
…She was late caught in traffic and when she finally arrived at HEATHROW terminal 1, she had to be rushed through at such a rate she didn’t have time to say goodbye to her hubby or her two year old little boy. This upset her greatly. It was very, very sweet to see, she really was devastated. It made those of us who don’t have that special someone in our lives feel very envious.
Last night (Sunday) we arrived in Edinburgh to gale force winds and sheet rain, it was hilarious, literally the worst night’s weather they’ve had this year. Jonny and I were the first to get our baggage so we led the exit out of the airport but wandered off the wrong way straight into the gents, little did we know everyone else in our party was mindlessly following right behind us, including the four girls, d’oh!
After we’d checked into the hotel we stole off into the Scottish night and had a lovely meal in a Seafood Restaurant which had been recommended to us by Foxy’s newly abandoned husband.
All good intentions of an early, alcohol-free night swiftly went out of the window as we ordered, chomped, chatted and ended up coiffing several bottles of excellent wine and a sturdy bottle of equally agreeable port. Please note this meal was not a BBC financed meal.
Every means of transport and accommodation during our trip has been booked with thriftiness in mind. The only person flying anywhere from here on in will be Rebecca as she is pregnant and has come up with some dodgy reason why flying is better for her.
It’s Monday morning and we’ve just boarded the tour bus, an elegant affair, far more chi-chi than down and dirty. A bunk each, a leather-clad relaxation area complete with flat screen Telly and DVD and Playstation, similar to the kind of area I might find aboard a posh motor cruiser. This will be our home until Thursday night, it feels good! Problem number one…
Here are some of the headlines that greeted us this morning…
ROADS CLOSED AND FLOODS FORECAST AS GALES AND RAIN BATTER SCOTLAND…
CONDITIONS HORRENDOUS, FERRY PASSENGERS THROWN ABOUT IN EXTREMELY ROUGH SEAS…
WINDS ARE HOWEVER SUBSIDING TO GALE FORCE 8 NOW!
Our major worry threatening the broadcast ability of tonight’s show in AUCHTERDERRAN is thus…
The Forth Road Bridge is closed to high-sided vehicles, which means we can’t get any of our kit over to Fife, if this continues to be the case we have to click into our emergency, mini-satellite studio mode. We have this backup system which means we can literally broadcast from anywhere if we have to, albeit on a far lesser scale.
No band, no family, nothing really except yours truly and the Saunders and the Pike.
My main concern is for the Murdoch family who have spent the last two weeks preparing for today, we have to get there for them. Today is their big day…
Will we make it…
OPEN THE DOOR, EAT THE CHOCOLATE, FEEL THE LOVE, IT'S THE FIRST OF THE BEST MONTH IN THE YEAR.
SO HERE IT IS,… MERRY BLAH BLAH,
EVERYBODY’S… BLAH BLAH BLAH,
LOOK TO THE FUTURE,
EVERYBODY’S HAVING BLAH …BLAH…..BLAH.
IT’S CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Don’t tell me it’s not because I don’t wanna’ know.
On with the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album for the second day in a row.
Come on.
Now how about this for the perfect present…
