Archives for June 2011

The proverbial cookie was crumbling under the weight of comments on the Facebook fan page and bbcapprentice Twitter feed during the Biscuit Task. The confectionary concoctions, the pitching perils and the staggering result sent many tongues wagging… although the emergence of the Popscuit caused a few stomachs to rumble – and not in a good way!

"Emergency Biscuit - The fourth emergency service!" wrote Joanne Caddy in response to Tom's intriguing concept. Simon Edgar suggested that the product should be positioned "right next to the fire extinguisher in a little glass case - only break in case of extreme emergency". As for Mr Notepad Calculator's other idea, MrXBob summed up the consensus with his tweet: "A biscuit within a biscuit! Inception eat your heart out, quite literally :D"

Can you guess what the following comments referred to? "Sounds like a case of the runs!!!" said Alisha O'Brien and tb_1985 compared it to "an unhealthy bowel movement". Yup, it can only be the Popscuit! Nobody knocked Melody's concept for being unoriginal though, which cannot be said of Team Logic's eventual Bix Mix product. In response to some of Susan's claims, Jakeisinhiding mockingly tweeted: "That snapable technology should really get patented. #bixmix"

As for Logic's attempt to sell the product through roleplay… "I've seen school nativity plays with more convincing chemistry between the performers," slammed Mark_Kerr. "More like a drole play," commented Neil Salt. "Melody isn't gonna be adding a Best Actress Oscar to her list of awards any time soon after that performance," deduced Bolton0301. Nonetheless, janehill64 declared that "Melody and Tom as biscuit-obsessed lovers is the best thing ever". Could there be sitcom potential perhaps?

Meanwhile, Jim's ambitious pitch for Team Venture's product Special Stars provoked much headshaking. "Bit desperate," felt Jane Buckland. "What the hell was he thinking?" pondered Lewis Wignall. This led clairecowles to ask: "Will next week's task be pitching the advertising deal for #specialstars to the Harry Potter team then?"

The alleged Jedi turned out to be a smart enough cookie, with his "go big or go home" pitch securing 800,000 orders. As for Team Logic? 0. Nowt. Nothing. Zero. A collective wave of "wow" swept certain social networking sites. This turned to more shock with the boardroom fireworks between the members of Logic. As bbcapprentice tweeted: "Feeling sorry for @Lord_Sugar having to sit through the Melody-Zoe argument. He needs an Emercrunchy to help him cope!"

@Lord_Sugar himself asked: "Do you think Zoe will send Melody a Xmas card this year?" In response to Melody's dismissal of the focus group's opinion, edwright6975 succinctly said: "Like the way that 10 people from Swansea knew nothing, but 4 in Paris represented a country! #onlywhenitsuitsme". However, Sajid Rasul sought to clarify the situation: "We have to remember its a business show. Melody has the business acumen and a truly business attitude."

Former candidate RaefBjayou used the tweeted word as his tool to say: "Tom, I fear, may need to put his invention skills to good use...and invent a reason as to why he should stay in the competition". Along with Melody and Susan, he managed to survive as Zoe was sent packing. "Sad to see Zoe go on the #TheApprentice - love her one-liners and mannerisms," wrote SarahEndersby, while Charlie Lomas countered: "Zoe said she was being professional yet the things she was saying to Susan kind of contradict that point."

The Biscuit Task left one candidate with a record breaking nine wins out of nine. Jamesstone1 asked what many had been thinking: "Is Helen available when Capello leaves?"

Bloody hell. You can understand Lord Sugar's choice of words upon seeing the results of the Biscuit Task, as the seemingly unstoppable Helen and her team Venture destroyed their opponents. Fittingly for an outfit pushing a Snap 'n' Share product, there was plenty of snapping on Zoe's team Venture. It all culminated in the Project Manager leaving in a taxi - which she fortunately did not have to share. But would you have fired her?

In a parallel universe, Zoe might have plumped for the upshot of Tom's cunning plan to "push the boundaries in creating something unique" – the 'Emercrunchy' biscuit! A treat designed "to be eaten in an emergency", the product would been better material for amorous pitches to supermarkets than Bix Mix. Just imagine how it would have unfolded before Nick Hewer's twitching eyebrows…

Tom: Hi honey, I'm home!

Melody: Hey sweetie, how are you?

Tom: Great thanks, but what's this I smell? Is it gas?

Melody: That's right sugarplums – there has been a gas leak.But I don't know what to do!

Tom: This is really serious!

Melody: I know. (cough) I think I'm going to pass out. (splutter)

Tom: Well… (strokes his chin) I think it's time to crack open The Emercrunchy! Where are they cuteypie?

Melody: They're… (cough)

Tom: Where?

Melody: (cough) They're… (wheeze)

Zoe: (stepping into view) Actually, they're in the hands of Team Logic and these pimped up digestives can be yours right now for just £1.99!

Tom and Melody: (in unison) Woohoo!

Who would possibly turn that down? Other intriguing biscuit ideas included Helen's 'Men That Munch', which even Natasha of 'how to blow your load' fame deemed to be "a bit rude", and Melody's 'Popscuit'. This hybrid concoction of popcorn and biscuit failed to impress the focus group though. Just as well, as the next logical step in that line of products would be the 'Gumscuit' – a chewable biscuit that would be the scourge of pavements across the globe. Which one of the proposed biscuits would you most like to be crunching on?

Jim's ambitious pitch for Special Stars propelled Venture into the ascendancy, securing a whopping 800,000 orders in return for exclusivity. The "Irish bulldozer of charm" stopped just short of projecting a hologram of David Beckham mid pitch, in which the footballer professes to wholeheartedly endorse the brand. Presumably a large delivery of Special Stars will soon be dumped in the front garden of Number 73 in return for the Rubbish Task snubbing of the alleged Jedi.

It was to be Zoe who was fired for the critical mistake of not attending the biscuit development, something she initially wanted to do until Melody and Susan persuaded her otherwise. At least she can look forward to a new career path – in acting. For not even Kate Winslet could have summoned up the amount of thespian prowess required to act all pally with Melody in the 'girly night in' roleplay moments after their epic fall out in the supermarket aisle. Today The Apprentice. Tomorrow The Academy Awards.

What are your thoughts on the Biscuit Task and the staggering result? Let us know by clicking on the Comments button above.

It's crunch time for the candidates in the Biscuit Task...

'Allo Allo! A spot of Franglais to kick off the latest assembly of your @bbcapprentice tweets and Facebook fan page comments is mandatory given the mirth generated by candidates' linguistic skills in Paris. As Mark_Kerr tweeted during Jim's pitching attempts: "[He's] doing what we would all do in this situation. If they don't understand, repeat, slowly, in english, in a french accent". There was no need for Lord Sugar to repeat anything though, as his message to Leon was loud and clear – you're fired!

When the task results were announced, many felt Tom and his notepad were heading for the door. "£228,000 compared to £11,000?! I can't help but think a certain project manager is going home today," predicted SteveFenwick. Wrong! "So glad he saved Tom! He's got such potential, he just needs confidence!! #teamtom" beamed mavz01. "Oh Tom, you're adorable but also incredibly lucky. Should have been you - but I'm glad it wasn't," mused TheLeafyOne.

"Not sure why 'Poor Tom' is trending - he's weak & should have gone! If anything it should be 'Poor (beautiful) Leon", blasted MynameisElie in praise of the man who is probably still trying to figure out the French for entrepreneur. As your very own bbcapprentice tweeted: "No prizes for guessing Leon's fave Girls Aloud song - Can't Speak French! He should let the little finger do the talking..."

The sound of the underground is what Melody heard while undertaking her market research. Valerie Elliot observed: "Why is anyone surprised that if you ask people at a Metro station whether car seats are something they'd use everyone says no". Kevin Liversage added: "Melody basically sabotaged Tom with her petulant attitude - notice the leading questions she was asking at the train station?" On the other hand, Qasim Habshi was full of praise: "She sold brilliantly and has good business acumen, additionally her hunger excels..."

One candidate's continued winning streak has propelled her from obscurity to acclaim in recent weeks. Spicerjames said: "You knew Tom would lose from the start when @Lord_Sugar moved Helen off his team. She wins every single time". SZKev added: "8 out of 8 for Helen - pretty unstoppable". Helen's selling skills were widely admired, although the same cannot be said for everyone, yeah. Former candidate Liz_Locke was stunned: "Natasha you are so bad at pitching!!! Tom why would you say you would accept 10 units.......appalling!"

It wasn't just Karren Brady left gobsmacked by winning Project Manager Susan's questions about the French and their love for children and cars. Konnolsky mockingly tweeted: "Susan: 'Do the French breathe oxygen or what?" Similarly, Tom's jawdropping shenanigans before a vital pitch led Leonie Bryant to joke: "I think paper, scissors, stone is an underrated business tool, think I will try it out tomorrow..."

The night ended with Poor Tom, Outstanding Asian and Paper Scissors Stone all trending Worldwide. That's what you call The Apprentice Effect...

Bonjour!

"It clearly went wrong with the products that we chose," Leon stated about the doomed attempts to sell cress and teapots to the French. "Had we taken the rucksack to the pitch we'd have been up a quarter of a million quid". What about the market research he was tasked with alongside Melody that led to the rucksack rejection? "It felt somewhat biased – we were in a tube station casting the research. Had we ventured onto the street it may have given a different outcome."

Leon, who described his time on the show as "brilliant", said that he felt "Melody had pretty much the whole task under her control. It was irrelevant whether we had Tom as the Project Manager – Melody was running the show". He also joked about who he felt should have been fired instead of him: "I think Natasha yeah, perhaps, yeah, needed to go, yeah, in that specific task. Yeah."

The non-French speaking candidate wasn't a Yeah Man when it came to Glenn's product idea in the pet food task. Leon unsuccessfully plumped for his own suggestion of Lucky Fish – "a concept that I dreamt up out of the focus group and I really did think it could take over. But Glenn put his foot down and came up with Catsize."

Glenn also invented Slangatang, the app that propelled Team Logic to a second successive defeat under the guidance of Project Manager Leon. Nonetheless, the experience was one of his highlights: "Watching them go live on the internet was incredible – and running around Earls Court dressed as a leprechaun, or whatever it was that I was dressed up as, was hilarious for me."

"I think I've still got strong views on wearing man make-up," said Leon, referring to his meterosexual experiences on the Beauty Treatments task. "I don't think that's ever going to be for me. With regards to the spray tan, it's no big deal. I think I was just worried about how I would look on TV". On the subject of orange glows, Vincent was Leon's roommate inside the Apprentice house from the start. "We got on really well throughout until he left," he revealed.

Leon signed off with the following farewell, which showed just how much of a learning curve The Apprentice has been – especially in linguistic terms: "As you know Ben, je ne parle pas français, so it's au revoir from me!

I'm no Robert Winston, but the human brain is an incredible creation. It's not its ability to store huge amounts of information that fascinates me but rather its ability to selectively remember events from the past. For instance we always look back fondly at our school years, when in reality they were probably pretty terrible. Luckily for us, the candidates also seem to suffer from this Selective Memory Syndrome. An affliction which makes for fantastic boardroom scenes, with every candidate claiming responsibility for anything good and convincing themselves they had nothing to do with any mistakes.

With baggage and egos checked in, the teams were off to Paris, a city of course famed for loving children, not driving cars and an insatiable hunger for novelty British lampshades. Enter our Brits abroad, with a special mention this week to Jim for saying everything in English with an off-French accent. Offending the French is a national past time and I'm grateful to Jim for keeping this tradition alive.

Susan was in the driving seat this week and despite my past criticisms, she pulled a good, clean win out of the bag. A new boardroom record was set, and her place assured for another week.

Melody was the stand out character for me, and winner of this week's Brand award for excellence. Her linguistic skills are applaudable, although I'm 97% certain her "selective translation" skills may cause a global war at the UN one day. She should seek treatment for what I call Internal Chinese Whispers, whereby a statement in French such as "Yes I think its a good idea" becomes "She said it's OK". She's still finely balanced on the line between confidence and arrogance, but provided she continues to deliver, I have high hopes for this multi-lingual femme fatale.

So we bid a fond fair-well to Leon, a candidate who reached a respectable week 8 in the process but left a less than indelible impression in the annals of Apprentice history.

Thanks for all your comments, a record 27 this week. There seems to be a lot of disagreement with Lord Sugar and the reasoning behind his decision to fire Glenn. I do agree that writing off an entire section of society is at best unfair, however Glen's time was legitimately up for other reasons.

Until next week, take care of yourself and each other.

The Brand

The Apprentice Insider 'engineered' a meeting with Glenn after the Magazine task and his vocational background proved to be his downfall. Upbeat about his time on the show, the Slangatang and CatSize creator chatted to us about his experiences…

"I feel that I can grow from it," the engineer said of the decision to fire him ahead of 'Bambi' Susan and Project Manager 'Jedi' Jim. "Lord Sugar sat there and he gave a reason for each one of us why should have been fired. Any one of them could have gone – they failed on the task as much as I did. But I just didn't fight hard enough."

"In the boardroom, fortunately it doesn't get personal," stated Glenn, who was accused of being cowardly by Jim. "With that in mind, you can be ruthless and cutthroat and know that it doesn't get taken out of there. Ultimately, your conscience has to go out the window and you have to fight for your life… you have to dig up the pettiest detail in order to defend yourself. That's the way it goes. This is The Apprentice. You gotta fight!"

The choice of Hip Replacement as the magazine's title hardly did the team any favours, but Glenn explained what led to the decision: "What we took from the focus group, in terms of the name, was that they wanted something less clichéd and more quirky. It led us down, unfortunately, a bit of a red herring wrong path – and towards Hip Replacement. I think we probably should have gone with something a little bit more generic but with a bit of a hint. A play on words like 'Free 60' or 'New Age' that wasn't so in your face."

It could have been even worse if another morbid suggestion from Zoe had been approved! "Well, Coffin Dodger from Zoe was as bad as Old Boot from me!" claimed Glenn. "We were all throwing those ridiculous names in because we got so carried away with the whole concept of doing something different. We tried our very best not to be insulting. We wanted to sell the magazine. The editorial content I thought was very good in all honesty – it was just the layout and the name that let us down… and obviously the pitch."

How did Glenn feel about winning the pet food task, especially as his colleagues failed to see the light in CatSize? "It felt like a bit of a Pyrrhic victory because I had to go against my entire team to push that through. That's something I really didn't want to do. No one wants to fight against all those who are trying to back you. It's a shame it didn't work out a better way. I can blame myself to some extent because I was quite forceful in getting the idea through… and the way in which I disregarded all their work was quite insulting to them and I can only apologise for that. But ultimately coming out and winning it – it was a good feeling."

Glenn also offered a heartwarming insight into the domestic harmony that surrounded the candidates away from the hard fought tasks: "One of my favourite times in the house was when we all got together and watched TV. It was almost like we could all forget the process we were involved in and be a group of friends together just having a good time. We all became normal human beings again and the beasts in the process were all pushed away!"

Finally, he let us in on the biggest lesson he has learnt about himself from the show: "I'm thoroughly enthused about everything I do and throw myself into it, but sometimes it can come across as either arrogant or overwhelming. I saw that in myself and one thing I can learn about it is to take a step back sometimes and don't shove my ideas in other people's faces – and listen more."

What did you think about Lord Sugar's decision to fire Glenn? What were your highlights from his time on the show?

Well, nobody really shot Bambi – and Susan dodged Jim's boardroom bullets too. As Lord Sugar pointed out, it was the baby deer's mother who perished – as did Glenn's hopes of winning The Apprentice after the Magazine task. The fact that 'Poor Glen' (sic) was trending worldwide could be an indication of what many felt about his dismissal...

In a very busy night on the bbcapprentice Twitter feed and Facebook fan page, many were laughing and gasping simultaneously at the developments. "Not only funny, but a total shock firing! Fantastic T.V.!" said allaboutAl. "Most enjoyable @bbcapprentice tonight. Quite how Jim survived is beyond me. Go Susie, don't let them get you down!" wrote cbosher. Meanwhile, Darren Barfoot suggested that "Glenn is too nice."

"Jedi Jim will nominate the other three to come back into the boardroom and himself to go back to the house," joked Marksyx shortly after the task result was announced. The losing Project Manager's survival caused plenty of disbelief. "Jim can convince the world that the Earth is flat!" laughed Alomgir. "I once bought an invisible coat from Jim! He was really nice but the coat isn't that warm," giggled AyianaYo. "Ok he can be ruthless but charming and alluring too!" sighed Yvonne Wallace, while Clare Crawford felt that"[his] namecalling was unnecessary and offputting. He prob should have gone tonight BUT I'm glad he didn't!!!"

Hip Replacement was trending worldwide, with elderly tweeters around the globe presumably thinking that some kind of surgical breakthrough has occurred. "Probably the worst name ever," lambasted PritchDan about the magazine created by Jim's team. "Hip Replacement sounds like a medical magazine," observed Alan Brooksby. "Something like Arthritis Today."

"[The] name should have been "one foot in the grave" chuckled Nazia Saeed, although there was widespread support for Zimmer and Coffin Dodgers online! Thisisthebird felt inclined to tweet: "On behalf of young people, I apologise for the unmitigated condescension on this weeks @bbcapprentice."

Over on the other team, Natasha, yeah, fared better with her purportedly highbrow lads' mag Covered, yeah. Well, it won. As PM, her antics raised a few eyebrows! "Natasha - is she joking? How to you blow your chances more like," seethed LizTyler. "Our focus group was quite focused' - brilliant insight from Natasha," quipped Katy3005. "Lads mags are for lads yeah' loveNatasha!" added Truebluerich. It was no coincidence that David Brent was soon trending worldwide.

Back to Bambigate, which did result in some headscratching. "I'm lost - is Susan now a mouse as well as Bambi??" tweeted JulieCarina.

Any ideas?

I love The Apprentice, but then again who doesn't love their maker. Think of me as Frankenstein and The Apprentice as Mary Shelley and you're not far wrong. After all without the show, I'd still be a credible small town businessman hidden far from public consciousness on the Isle of Man.

As it happens, I was the talk over office water coolers for months on end. There's a lesson to be learnt there. Accept the hand you're dealt in life and make the most of every opportunity you're given.

Just as Phil Taylor will forever have Pants Man shouted at him, I will forever live with a metaphorical field of ponies and carry the stigma attached to the unadulterated enthusiasm of youth. For one or two of this year's candidates, there is a much greater problem. The risk of being fired before showing their true colours.

Lord Sugar is not looking for a shrinking violet and after 7 series and 108 candidates you wonder why some still insist on hiding in the background, surely it's always better to be bold?

Enter stage left, Hip Replacement. A magazine with all the allure and appeal of a bag of German bean sprouts. The highly dubious title was backed up with the kind of patronising content designed for a primary school text book. That said, anything designed to cause widespread offence is usually right up my street.

Then we have Covered, a magazine that showed plenty of promise. As you'd expect from a 22 year old red blooded male, I had no objection to the liberal sprinkling of scantily clad ladies throughout the magazine.

 Unfortunately, somebody added rotten fish to the otherwise perfect soufflé recipe in the form of business advice. Having both business and babes in the same magazine, is like combining love making and knitting. A potentially painful yet ultimately pointless activity. It's worth remembering The Apprentice isn't a democracy; Natasha should have stuck to her guns on this one.

So it's goodbye Glenn , who "engineered" his own exit. I have no doubt however, he'll go on to great things.

Thank's for all your comments from last week. I can see no one agrees with my thoughts on Zoe, especially todaymorning and oongmal. I am, however, willing to put myself on the line and say she is simply misunderstood (a feeling I know all too well). Without wishing to sound like John Motson, it really is anybody's game to win at the moment. I honestly wouldn't put a penny on it.

Until next week, I'm off to learn the meaning of the word humility.

The Brand

Edna's time on The Apprentice was littered with victories until her admirable winning streak was ended by the 'Rubbish' task. The Apprentice Insider caught up with Edna to discuss her firing, the Susie-Zoe clash, barking elephants and THOSE black gloves…

"I was disappointed," said Edna of her firing, "but at the end of the day I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I had five consecutive wins. I felt it was a privilege to be part of the show and my time had come."

Such humility was lacking in the boardroom when it came to her academic qualifications. "I probably talked them up too much and underplayed my practical experience of working with a number of different clients," Edna admitted. "So I do regret not really talking about the 14 years of experience I actually could have brought to the table. That's my own fault."

What wasn't her fault was the constant squabbling between two of her teammates. "Some of the bickering between Susie and Zoe made me feel a little bit uncomfortable if I'm honest," sighed Edna. "I felt it was a little unfair on Susie to a large extent. Although I at times agreed with what Zoe was saying, I didn't agree with the method. I didn't agree with the tactics and the public way she was dressing Susan down. I thought that wasn't really the best way to conduct yourself in a professional manner."

As Project Manager in the App Task, Edna delivered a jawdropping presentation at Earls Court that was a major talking point for fans. "I knew nothing about apps," she stated. "It wasn't my bag at all. I probably was a bit uncomfortable up on that stage. I'm used to presenting to large audiences, and I'm very comfortable presenting, [but] the subject matter was not my forte at all. I don't know if the audience enjoyed my presentation, but I thoroughly enjoyed giving it!"

Her eyes noticeably twinkle when probed about the mesmerising handwear she deployed for the presentation. "When I put on those gloves it was just part of my outfit," she beamed. "I hadn't really given it much thought, but apparently they were trending on Twitter and there are fan pages on Facebook! There was so much attention paid to the gloves rather than my presentation – that was quite funny."

Edna was also 'appy to admit the origins of a certain hybrid beast that populated her team's product. "On the app there was an elephant that barked," she recounted. "That was a fluke and I think we managed to cover it up very cleverly by Felicity saying something about the randomness being the beauty of the app. The app wasn't great, but it did the job. It was based on a global concept and I think that was the most important thing at the end of the day."

You can see more from our chat with Edna, including her thoughts on life in the Apprentice house, by watching the video:

What were your highlights of Edna's stint on the show? Did you love or loath her gloves? Let us know by clicking on the Comments button…

Edna and her gloves were disposed of by Lord Sugar at the end of the Rubbish task, which led to plenty of trash talk on the bbcapprentice Twitter feed and Facebook fan page. Numerous viewers felt that both Susan and Zoe were lucky to escape following Team Venture's loss by just six pounds. "Triple fire! Get Sugar, Brady and Nick all pointing a finger," urged EhMattLee, echoing the sentiments of many.

"Loved @bbcapprentice today!" wrote Kirstybarber93. "Can't believe Edna went totally thought Zoe would go! So glad Tom finally won a task :)". Rae Sinclair argued that "Zoe should have been fired! No clear leadership", while Rahul Soni branded the failed Project Manager "annoying and grumpy". However, Belinda Appleton countered that "at least Zoe stood up for her mistakes."

There wasn't a great deal of sympathy for Edna. Stuart Burgess gave the fired candidate an acerbic send off, saying that it "just goes to show that claiming praise where not due does indeed not pay!"Chudies also tweeted: "Cracking episode of @bbcapprentice… really couldn't tell which way it would go and for me, Edna was the right choice..."

The seeds for Team Venture's loss were sewn by their charging strategy at the beginning of the task. Susan was widely lampooned for her amazement that Zoe was demanding money for the jobs, with the vast majority not on her hymnsheet. "I'm not even in the same choir," laughed Wendy Bloodworth Lister.

However, later developments supported Susan's stance and Michael Cullum stated thatothers "should have listened to her. People put her down too quick". Nonetheless, Team Venture bounced back to enjoy a vastly improved second day. Quoting Mr Hewer, Martrby observed: "Things are humming now' Looks like Nick has been looking at Susie's hymn sheet!" SashaZilla didn't feel the resurgence was inspired by Zoe though, commenting that "no one can be motivational with THAT monotone voice."

Last year's Apprentice winner Stella_English was one of a few lone voices to understand Helen's logic for charging nowt for the removals. "Risky but could work," she tweeted. "If they were really sensible they would at least just charge the COST to them incase it goes wrong". It turned out to be a winning move, prompting BarbieDavis to say that "Helen seems to be emerging as a front runner in #bbcapprentice - halted Team Logic's run of losses!"

Meanwhile, a certain rubbish collecting double act provoked much laughter. "Jim and Tom running = Batman and Robin?!" chucked laurenwaterman. "Baywatch flashbacks!" giggled evfrivett. Your very own bbcapprentice also pondered: "Why is Jedi Jim using a megaphone? Surely he can project his desires directly into the minds of those in Number 73?"Magentamorticia added a touch of nostalgia to proceedings with her tweet: "I'm sure Number 73 was a programme on kids TV in the 80's with Sandi Toksvig & Neil Buchanan??? Lost a bit of love for Jim."

Other moments that cracked up fans included Natasha's analogies, as picked up by craigie_b: "fab @bbcapprentice moment: 'so she got a big plate of blame, and went, 'there you go, fancy a bite?" Rianne49 picked up on a throwaway comment by Melody: "I could see dust in my eyes' - I doubt you would have seen anything with dust IN your eyes."

Although Edna was given the boot, her appearance on You're Fired made many warm to her. Although one garment was still causing an abundance of discussion. As SamPeerless quipped: "Why is Edna wearing those gloves? Is she going to inseminate a cow?!"

There's nothing quite like The Apprentice to reassure the nation of their own collective intelligence. However, what might seem painfully obvious from the comfort of your own sofa, may in fact be an innocent oversight made under the extreme pressure of the show’s tasks.

As much as it pains me to compliment another human being (and believe me, I do so through gritted teeth), I have to admit Zoe's performance quite impressed me. I always love an underdog, and seeing Zoe fight the near statistical inevitability that the losing PM gets fired, shows she has character and determination. Perhaps more importantly, it shows Lord Sugar has a soft spot for her. Provided no revelations surrounding a telecoms licence emerge during the interview round, she should stand a fighting chance.

Then we have Susan. There were a couple of lightbulb moments in last night 's episode but these were almost eclipsed by the perpetual whinging I've come to expect. It's not easy being young in life, in business or on The Apprentice. If there's one lesson I've learnt, perhaps harder than most, it's that people treat you the way you act. If you're young and complain about being treated like a child, it's almost certain you're acting like one.

There's a reason I haven't written much about Edna in my blog entries. Whilst I'm sure she is highly proficient in both business and waste removal, she hasn't stuck in my mind. Actually that's not strictly true. Her defining moment will always be dressing up like she's attending a Max Mosely party, before pitching an animal noises app. If you missed episode 2, it was exactly as surreal as it sounds.

In the end it was Team Logic who lost, because of 5 large old boilers. With that in mind, I'm off to my local weight loss group to literally rub cake in their faces. What you thought I'd suddenly got serious on you?

The gloves were off in the boardroom as Team Venture's squabbling and losing by six quid in the Rubbish task culminated in Edna being fired. She'd have been wise to keep her gloves on, given that the elbow-length latex garments she wore in her Ampi-App presentation could have scared her rivals into submission. Alas, Zoe's humility and Susan's youthful acumen won through in the heat of the battle. But do you agree with Lord Sugar's decision?

Edna, who endured her first loss, spent much of the task as a baffled bystander to the fireworks between Project Manager Zoe and Susan. Their squabbling – a fusion of monotone and glass shattering squawks – made Melody's infamous 'MEEEOOOUUUU' sound like the therapeutic sounds of panpipes in comparison.

Mind you, Nick Hewer was quick to point out the Susan possesses a "power of wisdom" that belies her years. She was quick to realise the value of not charging businesses to take away their valuable waste as well as targeting the copper cylinders. Her cleverness is so deceptive that many of you may have failed to notice that her blinks are actually reciting the Complete Works of Shakespeare in Morse Code.

On the subject of literary genius, Natasha's analogies this week surely merit some kind of book deal. "The horse, the train has left the station," she said as a rebuttal to Melody's criticism of their team's offer to clear away rubbish for zilch, before stating that her teammate had served up a "plate of blame" for her to eat from. Pass the fork…

"I've been the brains and I've been the brawn," declared Edna during the latter stages of the task. This accounted for nothing once Lord Sugar had her CV in his hands, which was peppered with idealistic claims of her visionary and practical capabilities that nobody in the boardroom appeared to agree with. Still, she can leave with her hands held high – a testament to the fact that 'Edna's Gloves' was once a trending topic on Twitter…

Moving from rubbish bags to Baggs The Brand - Stuart will be back with his weekly blog tomorrow, so don't forget to visit and let him know what you thought of the episode.

Did Edna deserve to be fired? Would you buy a book of Natasha's analogies? Is Susan smarter than you thought? Let us know by clicking on the Comments button...

Who do you think will clean up in the Rubbish task? Let us know by clicking on the Comments button!

The pet food task didn't turn out to be fifth time lucky for Apprentice candidate Vincent. Despite taking on the reins of Project Manager, his Every Dog product failed to halt his losing streak and culminated in him being fired. The Apprentice Insider caught up with Vincent to discuss the canine culinary catastrophe, boardroom banter and a certain Jedi Jim…

"It was quite evidently clear that we needed to come up with a more specific niche, a more specific brand," explained Vincent while mulling over the task loss. If he could do anything differently, he would have addressed "the fact that not every dog eats the same food and probably listened a little bit more to the vet."

Nonetheless, Vincent failed to see the light of Glenn's rival CatSize product: "I thought the rival product was interesting. I thought the concept was good.Initially they were going to call it Slimline Feline, which I thought was a catchy name. I think what they actually created was poor, in terms of the actual concept. The packaging was wonderful – they had a much better packaging and they focussed on a niche.Overall, their idea was maybe slightly better… but they had no brand!"

Not just Nick Hewer's eyebrows were raised when Vincent chose to spare Jim from a possible firing. "In hindsight, I should have perhaps brought Jim into the boardroom," he admitted. "I think that was pretty much communicated through the show. Jim was the guy who said 'Every Dog is the name'. Maybe he should have come in instead of Natasha."

Vincent, who claimed to enjoy the boardroom banter with Lord Sugar, revealed that he felt he had escaped a firing when Ellie was dismissed. "I thought at that time that I would be safe. I thought he would maybe give me a bollocking and send me back to the house. But he decided to send a message – and the message was that you can't have friends in this game and you can't strategise."

Before heading off, the purveyor of the world's most cringeworthy 'app' pun summed up his time on The Apprentice: "I hope that I've been entertaining and people think that I'm a good guy – and hopefully with a bit of charisma!"

Will you miss Vincent's charisma? Did his friendship with Jim lead to his downfall? Tell us your views by clicking on the Comments button… 

Bradford-born Ellie was the first victim of Lord Sugar's shock double firing after the pet food task. The Apprentice Insider caught up with her to discuss her team's dog's dinner of a product, her catty clash with Felicity and THAT massage room moment with Jim…

"I think that the task failed with the name Every Dog obviously," explained the Northern lass. "It was too generic and didn’t make people feel special enough about their own pets. That was Jim's idea and Vince should have taken him into the boardroom. I still think Vince would have been fired because, although it was Jim's idea, he let Jim lead it too much and wasn't a Project Manager enough possibly."

So why does Ellie think she ended up in the firing line? The construction recruitment specialist felt that she "should have shouted louder basically. If I could do it again, I would say 'look – we need to be doing it more niche' and stressing the point that I have a small dog and buy small dog food I suppose."

Ellie believes that her Project Manager Vincent and his chum Jim played a large part in her eventual dismissal. "I think that perhaps it was a bit strategic taking me and Natasha into the boardroom," pondered the dog owner. "We'd both been in there the week before. He did listen to Jim too much and should have taken him back in. He was a little bit influenced by the fact he was his friend. A double firing is unusual and it's just a shame that it wasn't Vincent on his own."

"I felt pretty gutted when I got fired," she continued, "but at the same time I'd had a really good experience and I wasn't as gutted as I perhaps should have been to be fair. I think that I was getting frustrated with not being heard enough. That was where I failed really – I didn't tell the Project Manager what I'd done if I hadn't been with them. I should have told them more about how I'd contributed towards the task."

In the previous beauty treatments task, Ellie's Project Manager Felicity felt her wrath after trying to lay the blame at her feet in front of Lord Sugar. Ellie explained: "I found myself quite exhilarated by the boardroom experience. I like the challenge of it. [But] I think when Felicity took me in on the fourth task I was absolutely livid because I felt it was unjustified, so I was on a roll with it."

Many viewers were surprised that Ellie shunned the normal routine of bidding farewell to the fired candidate after Felicity was given the boot. In hindsight, would she have conducted herself differently? Not a chance. "I don't regret not saying goodbye to her really because I felt she was unjustified," stated the unflinching former candidate. "If I have an argument with someone I don't go up to them minutes later and hug them and say 'bye' to them. I think it's a little bit hypocritical."

On a lighter note, what did Ellie make of the classic Apprentice moment when her plans to massage two students were interrupted by Jim's arrival and claim that "four hands are better than two"? "I think when Jim came into the massage room it was hilarious. He looked too eager to massage those two lads – and I think they were a bit scared by his eagerness as well! I think both of them wanted me to do them rather than him!"

"I'm now an expert at giving hot seashell massages and I have been asked for it numerous times since I left The Apprentice!" she added.

What do you think of Ellie's efforts on The Apprentice and her firing? Let us know by clicking on the Comments button.

Have you all recovered from Lord Sugar's shock double firing? Followers of the

TotalCheryl succinctly summed up the general response: "OMG! Shock double eviction! No way! Vincent is gone!" Former candidate ApprenticePhil yelped: "What!!!!' a double Firing! Great TV well done @bbcapprentice, didn't see that coming!"

Many felt that cosmetics king Vincent was on borrowed time, with TheGinBoy tweeting: "Vincent was awful. Out of touch, and badly organised. There's a reason he lost EVERY week". Emma Norman added: "Vince should have definitely gone - he was more like a smarmy second hand car sales man", while Ched44 laughed at his early suggestion for a new dog food product: "Pals, Vincent? I tell you what, let's start a clothing line. Adidas?"

Yet there was some sympathy for the man who coined the world's worst app-le pun. Dangermouuuuse explained that he "feels sorry for poor Vincent, an unassuming victim of Jedi Jim's mind tricks and paid a harsh penalty". Ah yes, Jedi Jim. His powers stretched to cyberspace too, with his new nickname trending worldwide on Twitter during the show. Some folks abroad must be thinking that 'Jedi Jim' is some kind of new Star Wars spinoff like the recent Clone Wars cartoon. If only they could feel the real force...

"Respect to Lord Sugar for telling Jim his cards are marked!!" gushed Carole Pennell, referring to the tense showdown in the Death Star boardroom. "I liked Jim to begin with but now he's shown his true colours, its time for him to go," admitted Donna Walker. However, many of his fans are still backing the self-professed 'Irish bulldozer of charm' to go all the way. "Jim will end up firing Lord Sugar," joked Andy Mcgowan. Well, we assume it's a joke – but given his boardroom escape you never know!

Although the unexpected firing of Vincent overshadowed the earlier dismissal of Ellie, there was some sympathy for the Northern lass. "I brought Ellie in because she knows dog food'. No, Vincent you brought her in because you are scared of Jim!" barked sm_ritchie. "Ellie should have been given one more chance," stated Deepa Mulye.

The episode also contained a couple of classic 'blink and miss' moments. Did anyone notice the little pooch mesmerised by Nick Hewer on the stairs? It's not just the human population who are transfixed by Lord Sugar's eyebrow-raising adviser! D0mz asked: "Anyone see the awkward moment when vincent goes for a high-five but gets completely ignored?"OfficialEDG echoed his question: "Was it just me who saw the high five Vincent went for with #jedijim after the advert showing and got left hanging?"

Did you spot this epic moment of pure cringe? If so, then you're luckier than one of those 'Lucky Fish' that Leon wanted on the diet of every cat in town. (Surely the cat is the lucky one not the fish?) If not, then it's well worth checking out the episode on BBC iPlayer and heading to the 28:12 mark. Remember to moisturise afterwards as extreme cringing can lead to wrinkles.

Let us know what you think about the ill-fated high-five, the double firing and whether you saw the light on CatSize or Every Dog…

As we edge ever closer to the half way point, it's time to sort through the leftovers of this weeks task and see just how many pet related puns I can slip in one blog post.

In the cold light of day and with the benefit of hindsight it's perhaps unfair to criticise the candidates for their failings on this task. Luckily for you, I was born without a conscience. So, we begin by questioning the relative merits of creating a diet cat food (presumably for the American market). Nothing says I love my cat quite like forcing it on a diet.

Whilst team Logic opted for the more sedate brand Everydog, subtly missing the point that dog owners like to think their generic 4 legged fleebags are actually special.

Leon's pitch for "Cat Size" was delivered with the grace and finesse of a tumble dryer, surely assuring a win for Everydog and team leader Vincent. Alas it was not to be, with Lord Sugar selecting his Pedigree chums to be Cat Size and dog-eared losers, Everydog. My early favourite Jim looked like a kicked puppy when he got a dressing down from Lord Sugar, whilst Natasha got send back to the dog house.

Vincent and Ellie were left in a bitter boardroom dog-fight and despite Vincent's attempt to muzzle her, they both got sent to "goldfish heaven" aka flushed down the toilet.

Thanks for all your comments, here's hoping the candidates keep the one-liners flowing and the public forget my performance from last year!

Well I'm off to open a post office for £1.50, so until next week..Much Love

The Brand