Kenya's conjoined twins
Life has been rather quiet in recent days up here at my observation post aboard the Revolutionary African Command Stool, RACS.
This high-tech African space ship equipped with more gear than Obama's Marine One VH-60 WhiteHawk helicopter gently hovers deep above the African skies, monitoring any strange movements of people, money or ideas on the continent below.
RACS' latest mission on South African airspace left me satisfied that votes and voters moved in the right direction in the recent general election.
Although the RACS human movement LCD monitor was flickering wildly, to register Jacob Zuma's unprovoked dance routines, I decided I could afford to ignore this because with time the realities of leadership will plant his feet firmly on the ground, rather than dangerously above people's heads.
And so I swung the vehicle round to rapidly head to Kenya where agents of a better Africa have sent me amazing pictures of Africa's first conjoined political twins.
When I magnify the images I see two distinct faces: President Emilio Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Amolo Odinga.
Each has two legs and two arms, but they're joined at the hip.
Like any Siamese twins, their lives involve a great deal of co-operation and compromise to get things done.
But unlike many healthy conjoined twins who have perfected the rhythm of life as two souls but one entity, Emilio and Amolo walk round in frustrating circles.
If one decides to go in a particular direction, the other reflexively walks in the opposite direction, forcing the pair to land on the ground with a painful thud.
Rumour has it that the constant falls have scarred their buttocks turning them the colour of baboons' bottoms.
Their children who have such names as mwananchi, watu and raia (citizens) have to constantly lift them back on their feet.
Not an easy task for an adult weighing 5kg (for lack of food), to lift and support an overfed 75 year old spoilt toddler.
The only compromise the pair has reached is to eat healthily from one plate.
The reason RACS received these thousands of images - many taken by concerned volunteers on their mobile phones - was because the famous twins had fallen yet again, this time from a dangerous height.
Emilio and Amolo had climbed atop Kenya's parliament buildings in Nairobi competing whose flag would fly up there as a sign of supremacy sole control of government business in the House.
After days of a wrestling match with Sumo nappies covering their sore bums and their two different flags in tatters, the twin tumbled to the ground in a collective thud!
Only the Kenya national flag was left unscathed to grace the Nairobi skyline.
The conjoined twins are nursing their wounds and contemplating on the next move.
Their children, upset by the prospect of having to haul the twins back on their feet and shove them in a path that would bring them food, water, peace and jobs, are now cursing the surgeon who joined up the duo.
Unlike ordinary Siamese twins who are joined at birth, the Kenyan pair was separate individuals joined together as adults by Chief UN Surgeon Kofi Annan as a way of teaching them to walk together, work together, eat together and thereby keep Kenya as one indivisible whole.
Now that they can't get up anymore from their fall from the heights of parliament, the Kenyan Siamese twins are obsessed with a new thought: conjugal rights.
They have each identified a partner but can't agree who will go first.
RACS has learnt that by the time they reached agreement on who is first and who is second, their two partners had joined a campaign by Kenyan women to boycott sex until politicians see sense and put the country back on track.
If you find this view restrictive and want an uninhibited view of Kenya and Africa please dash to bbcworldservice.com/africa
