Teenagers - Anxieties of young adulthood

The transition into adulthood is a difficult time for you and your teenager. Between 15 and 18 your child will start to seem like a young adult but they still have a way to go. Their brain will likely continue to develop into their 20s and their behaviour may change as they begin to explore their sexuality and start thinking about their future.

Bez and son Arlo take a trip down memory lane and recollect this challenging but fun time.While psychologist Anjula Mutanda reveals the driving forces behind your child's changing behaviour and explores how you can support them through this confusing time.

The science - relationships, rebellion, and raging hormones.

As your child reaches the end of their teenage years it can begin to feel like a battle for control, but understand that they're still facing a lot of physical, emotional, and social changes including:

• Developing Brain
• Maturing Body
• Hormones
• Pressure from school and exams
• Pressure from friends
• Anxieties about the future

By 15 the sex hormones, oestrogen and testosterone, flood the teenage body. They help mature the body, facilitate egg and sperm production and have been linked to behavioural changes, such as increased interest in dating and sexuality.

With so much going on, is it any wonder that your teen might not seem like themselves?

Anjula's advice:

Are they spending a lot less time with you, making it difficult for you to know how they're doing?

Relax, it can be difficult to relinquish control as your teen takes ownership over their life, but growing independence is a vital step towards thriving as an adult.

Remain alert to their new friendships, relationships, school life, and interests. Even as you allow them space, keep watch over any irregular behaviour that could indicate that your teen could be struggling.

Are they starting to explore their first serious relationship, becoming sexually active, or becoming aware of their sexual orientation?

Understand what's going on during puberty to give context to their behaviour.

Be careful not to bombard them with questions such as ‘who are you with’, instead create a calm and safe space to talk about anything and everything using open ended questions, for example ‘how are things with your friends’.Remember to be the adult in the room and try to stay as grounded as possible.

Is your teen feeling the stress of grades, exams, and future plans?

Your teen may be worried about exams, jobs or college. Be understanding and avoid counter productive phrases like ‘you have to’ or ‘you must achieve’, instead try ‘how can I support you’ or ‘what would help you in this situation’.

Find more support from the Parents' Toolkit for dealing with Exam Stress or Career help.

Throughout all of this Anjula reminds us to "Take the opportunity as the parents of a teen to engage in self care and be encouraged that although this can feel like a thankless task, it leads to cultivating a more confident and amazing human being.”

Scientific advice by Dr Emma Parish, paediatric and adolescent consultant at Evelina London Children’s Hospital.

For more on the teenage brain, this episode of the BBC World Service podcast Deeply Human meets teens and a brain scientist to find out why the rollercoaster highs and lows of teenage life might be good for us.

If your child needs further support

There is more advice and information for parents of teens on the Parents' Toolkit here.

Bitesize Support offer advice for young people around a variety of issues including mental health and wellbeing.

If your child is in need of in-the-moment support they can contact Childline, where they can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Mental health charity Young Minds have this quick 'help finder' to guide young people and parents to information and support.

There are more links to helpful organisations on BBC Action Line.

More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit…