How to help your child with homework, and avoid a meltdown

Homework helps your child consolidate their knowledge, which can make it easier for them to keep up with work in lessons. It can also help your child feel more confident, and allow them to be able to complete more complicated work. But try explaining this to your kids at 8pm the day before that homework deadline.

Luckily, Bitesize Parenting has your back, we've pulled together some advice from experts and other parents to help you get ahead when it comes to homework planning and preparation, along with some top tips to help you avoid those dreaded homework meltdowns.

Homework: where to start?

We recommend starting with our Homework Hacks series of articles and films which feature mum of 3, comedian and best selling author Sophie McCartney aka Tired 'N Tested, and dad of 2, parenting influencer LV General. They both talk about the struggles of juggling homework with everything else that a parent has to cope with, with some some advice from experts to help you along the way:

• Understand the school's homework policy

This will include how much time your child is expected to spend doing their homework each day or week. Knowing this will be valuable as you help them manage their workload.

• Talk to your child and their teachers as much as you can

Be reassuring, be curious, be helpful, and, most of all, be patient when your child makes fun of you for getting a basic maths question wrong. Remember to stay in the loop with teachers and their plans too.

LV says: "If you’re negative, your child will mirror that and be negative themselves. So try to be positive – even about subjects you found difficult yourself. Show that you’re supportive of their learning – and they’ll want to keep at it."

How to help with homework?

How can you help with homework if you don't understand it yourself? Well Headteacher, Mr Burton of Educating Yorkshire fame says that it's okay not to know the answer.

He says: "Lessons can go from phonics to phonemes to phlebotomy to pharaohs from ancient Egypt at an alarming pace. Children – given it’s their routine to change lessons from hour to hour – can adapt quickly, but for a parent to be able to dip in and out and master it all, it’s almost impossible." He continues: "school is supposed to be a challenge and work should push children to stretch themselves academically at all levels. Don’t expect to know everything – though you might just surprise yourself with what you do know."

If you, or your child are struggling with homework, Mr Burton recommends asking for help: "get in touch with your child’s teacher with a note, a call or an email to let them know that they might need a little help. With a two-minute teacher chat the day after, it might open the floodgates and help the homework flow."

How to plan homework

When it comes to homework, planning is key. Our friends at Bitesize Study Support have loads of guides full of expert advice to help your child with some of the most common homework concerns, including managing deadlines, how to ask your teacher for help and how to manage homework on shared devices.

The Study Support 'Homework Helpline' experts say that your child could try making a weekly plan for when they'll do their homework which will help them to make sure it’s all completed by the time it’s due in. Wherever possible, your child should build a bit of a buffer into their homework plan – for example, if an assignment is due in on a Thursday, they should aim to complete it by Monday or Tuesday. This means if something comes up unexpectedly, and they're unable to complete the task on the day they originally planned, they should still be able to get it done on time.

With the rise in use of AI, you may also be wondering whether its okay for your child to use AI to complete their homework? Study Support spoke to Dan Fitzpatrick, aka The AI Educator, who said that AI chatbots can be a useful study partner, but that your child must use it correctly so as not to get in trouble. You can find some homework AI dos and don'ts from Dan here.

How to support homework meltdowns

Bitesize Parenting spoke to educational and child psychologist Dr Anisa-Ree Moses about the after-school restraint collapse, which is often referred to as a the after-school meltdown. Dr Moses says that children can feel emotional, physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the school day. They have been trying to manage a mix of things like learning, social expectations, their own growing social awareness and all the feedback they’re getting from teachers and peers.

Dr Moses suggests including some downtime after school rather than moving straight on to homework, so that your child can decompress.

Dr Moses says: "Validate how they feel rather than try and control it. If they are impolite in the moment, come back to that later – talking at that moment won’t help. Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection.”