Starting at a new school means new classes, subjects, teachers… and of course, new friends!
And finding friends IRL can feel like a rollercoaster ride. Some people find it easy and exciting, for others, it can be quite challenging.
And if making new mates feels like more of a mission and you're feeling worried, don't worry you're not alone.
Watch the video below to hear what some students across the UK say about how they felt and found new friendships at secondary school.
Student 1:
Making new friends was a bit hard at the start.
Student 2:
It was very easy.
Student 3:
Not easy.
Student 4:
Not that easy.
Student 5:
But as soon as you get the hang of it, you can get quite a lot of them.
Student 6:
I'm very, like, introverted, so it's kind of hard making friends.
Student 7:
I have always been quite self-conscious.
Student 8:
For me, I'm quite a confident guy.
Student 9:
I was very, very shy at first.
Student 10:
I'm kind of in the middle of being a social person and being a reserved person.
Student 11:
To me, it was very easy. I'm the type of person that opens up really well.
Student 12:
First week I was kind of nervous to talk to people, but like I eased into do it and started talking to people a lot more.
Student 1:
I had no one to talk to, but as the classes went on, I sat next to new people and started speaking to them.
Student 13:
I asked them if they wanted to sit with me during lunch. I think that was the best way to do it.
Student 10:
Building up the courage to ask someone if they want to hang out or something is a really good start for friendship.
Student 8:
I managed to find new friends by doing much more clubs.
Student 14:
In the gymnasium in our school, the ping pong club is like a lunchtime thing, you can go there, play ping pong. You can meet other people there that could be your friends later on.
Student 15:
I basically just introduce myself, tell them about me. And like, sometimes based on whatever they're wearing, or what's on their bag or clothes, I'll be like, oh, do you like this? Or you support so-and-so team? Yeah.
Student 9:
When I made new friends, I just felt amazing because I had these people around me ready for me to tell them anything - like my worries, my accomplishments. It's just amazing to have those people around you to like talk to. And yeah, that's really amazing.
Student 8:
If you're in class and you find new people, get to speak to them, get to know them better.
Student 11:
Don't worry too much about other people. Try focus on yourself. Try finding the right people for you.
Will I lose my old friends?
Losing touch with your besties from primary school can happen when you move up to secondary and high school… and this is quite normal for most people to experience.
Many of your primary school friends might be going to a different school than you, or you might not be in the same forms or classes as your BFFs in your new school.
That's not to say this happens to everyone… loads of people still stay in contact with their old primary school mates which is amazing.
Either way, secondary school or high school is a great opportunity to find new friends you haven't met yet, (and that doesn't mean you have to ditch your old ones to fit in too).
Watch this video to see how kids from across the UK navigated their friendships changing when they moved up schools.
Student 1:
Sometimes in life you would lose your old friends, but find new ones. In high school you get to find more friends.
Student 2:
Friendships changing is something that you're often told about and no one really prepares you for very well.
Student 3:
I came into high school with only one friend from primary school.
Student 4:
I had no phone, no social media when I was moving up. I have a group of five or six friends with me, hanging around in school now. That's my best friends, pretty much.
Student 5:
When we joined secondary school, I thought that I wasn't going to be friends with most of my friends from primary school.
Student 6:
From my personal experience, I have not lost any of my old friends from primary school.
Student 7:
I was definitely worried about friendships changing. A lot of my friends from primary school are in different schools. I realised that there's nothing to worry about because I still keep in contact with them, and honestly, I could even say that I'm closer with them now than I was in primary school.
Student 8:
I was nervous at first. Making new friends is quite hard. The first few weeks I stuck with my old friends, but some people found new friends. I found a group of friends, new people joined too and, you know, made new friends again, and I hang out with them now, so, you know.
Student 2:
Your friends will start to drift, circles will start to change, and the people around you will start to be different. But you'll know if they're the right people that you're supposed to be around.
Student 9:
If you act yourself, let's see who's gonna go up to you and say, hey, I like you. Like, can we be friends? So don't be sad.
Student 10:
When you get into high school, there's going to be a lot of other people you haven't met, but you will become friends with them, like by the flick of a wrist. It's just like that, it will click. Trust me.
How do I make new friends?
Dr Amir Khan:
Friendships will change, some old ones may fade, and that's okay.
Be open to new people and don't rush to find a group immediately.
Join clubs and activities. It's an easy way to meet people with similar interests. You might not stick to them, but you will meet some new people outside of your immediate friendship group who are interested in similar things to you.
If you're feeling nervous, take a deep breath, smile, and just be yourself.
Remember, you don't have to be perfect or cool. Just be kind and interested in the other person and remember how brilliant you are and how lucky these people are to hang out with you.
Here are Dr Amir's top tips for making new mates at a new school.
- Be open to new people - Don't rush to find a group immediately.
- Join clubs and activities - This is an easy way to meet people with similar interests. You might not stick with these friendships and that's OK, but this is a great chance to meet some new people outside of your immediate friendship group who are interested in similar things to you.
- Be yourself - Take a deep breath, smile and just be yourself. Remember you don't have to be perfect or cool. Just be kind and interested in the other person. And don't forget to remember how brilliant you are and how lucky these people are to be hanging out with you.
If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on the BBC Bitesize Action Line page for young people.
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