Expert guidance on helping your kids navigate the internet

The BBC Bitesize and 5 Live Teen Summit survey suggested that two-thirds of teenagers use their phones for five hours or more a day, nine out of 10 are into gaming and two-thirds are also concerned about the impact of fake news and misinformation online.

So, how can parents help support their child's online life? We’ve enlisted the help of two leading experts on the cultural impacts of social media on children and young people – Dr Kaitlyn Regehr and Dr Katharine Smales.

Parents - this is not our fault!

Tech is designed to be addictive - that's the first point Dr Regehr raised. “The business model is designed to hold our attention,” she said - pointing out that as parents we need to be aware of that.

She also quoted research that shows what we do as parents influences how our children behave around screens, as well as highlighting that we're all trapped in these addictive spaces.

Dr Smales suggested that it’s good to explain to children how the tech makes sure there is always another video to watch, or another reward you have to get "to help them understand how the design of these technologies influences their behaviour".

Understand what’s going on

“I think for too long we have felt so overwhelmed,” said Dr Regehr, “so appalled by the potential harms of the digital space that we have buried our heads in the sand”. But she warned that this meant we’ve left kids to “navigate this space on their own,” instead of us as parents figuring out the harm and then teaching them how to safely use it.

If the tech is about holding our attention, Dr Regehr said it’s important we understand that what grabs our attention are things that “hook into our vulnerabilities and insecurities and elicit an emotive response”.

This way of operating, she said, can lead to a lot of problems for some teenagers such as, “self-harm, body dysmorphia, or a polarised view of society and politics”.

Dr Regehr suggested that we need to be aware and push back against these cycles, “ - where we see content that can become more extreme and harmful.

What to do when your child sees something they shouldn’t

“First of all, if your kid came to you and said, 'I've seen it', that's a win!” Dr Regehr exclaimed, “because that means you have created a space where you made them feel that the things that they see on screens, are things that you discuss within your family. We all want to get to that”.

Dr Regehr suggested you might want to say to them: “if you see something on a screen that makes you feel bad or makes you feel weird in your tummy, you know, we can talk about it”.

Another example Dr Regehr gave relates to your child seeing pornography. Dr Regehr recommends that you compare it to actors in a film putting on a performance. Talk to them about how this is not reflective of most loving, consensual, caring relationships. She said it’s important for parents of both boys and girls to explain this so they don’t see this content as “showing them how they are meant to behave in a romantic relationship”.

Try a weekly content review and watch together

Dr Regehr proposed you try regular check-ins with your children and encourage them to show you three pieces of content, “one that made you feel good, one that made you feel bad and one piece of content that made you question something”.

She said doing this on a weekly basis “you'll get a pretty good sense of what your kid’s digital diet is and see what they are actually consuming”.

When your kids are on screens Dr Smales suggests sitting with them and talking about what they're seeing. Point out when something is an ad or a piece of product placement with an influencer.

Having conversations where you point out when people are being paid to promote certain content, or exploring why a platform is serving up certain adverts can help stop time online being a "highly individualised experience", according to Dr Smales.

Screens, when, where & what’s on them

Think about where tech is allowed in your home. Dr Regehr suggests you make clear choices and talk to your kids about keeping tech out of bedrooms.

Dr Regehr said this advice is not just for children "maybe adults’ phones shouldn't be in the bedrooms either?” Not only is it not good for our mental health and wellbeing but "maybe we should begin to model these good practices,” she suggested.

Once those rules are in place, Dr Regehr says, you can then have a conversation about what is on the screens. She suggests removing certain apps and limiting notifications.

We see from above a teenage girl looking at her smartphone while sat on a dark sofa

Prevent harm and them harming others

"Often when kids engage in forms of online bullying, when they are unkind to each other in these environments, these issues are heightened by the anonymity,” Dr Regehr explained, “that comes with the digital space”.

“If you think that your child is behaving a certain way in digital environments," Dr Regehr suggested, “try and move them away from big group chats where there are high levels of anonymity”. Encouraging them to join smaller groups, the chats will be less anonymous and hopefully bring “more meaningful connection,” she said.

Again, this is not just advice for children, Dr Regehr pointed out, “that's also true for all of us.” If you are in a neighbourhood group chat, she said “people are more likely to be unkind to each other when there are greater numbers than if there are just a couple of people on the chat”.

Echo Chambers

In Dr Regehr’s book ‘Smartphone Nation’ she explains that when you see only content that confirms your point of view you know you are in a digital echo chamber. If this happens, Dr Regehr suggests seeking out different points of view and sources.

And for younger children BBC Bitesize uses the tale of The Emperor’s New Clothes to explain how echo chambers work. Dr Smales told us she’s a big fan as it's a great way to show what happens when people believe in something simply because they want it to be true. To counter an echo chamber you need the equivalent of the little boy in the story who points out the emperor isn't actually wearing any clothes at all.

Truth Decay

is a term used to explain the erosion of truth. One young person at the BBC Radio 5 Live & BBC Bitesize Teen summit gave a striking example of it, saying "I just don't trust anything anymore. I don't trust the news".

“That makes me deeply sad,” says Dr Regehr, “to think that a young person no longer believes in truth because they are so worn down by misinformation”. She said we need to be actively attacking truth decay and there are ways we as parents can help:

Talk about how to spot disinformation
Try and encourage different viewpoints
Encourage young people to use reputable news sources
Use online resources such as an AI image detector, or do a reverse image search

Dr Regehr suggests that as parents, we should be actively teaching our kids that there is truth, “there are some things that are just factually true. Like the fact that the earth is round”.

Praise good digital behaviour

In her book, Dr Regehr encouraged praising your children for using critical thinking. Dr Smales agreed, “When they respect someone else's opinion or look for evidence to back something up, let them know that that's a great life skill”.

This also applies to the idea of debate. She said it's okay not to agree with each other all the time during a conversation, encourage them to think about both sides of the story.

We have this guide to help parents teach critical thinking.

Pause before you share

Dr Smales suggested it’s best to pause instead of quickly sharing something because ”you actually might be sharing a piece of misinformation”. In their research, Dr Smales and Dr Regehr also found that often there is content: “where it's humorous, but it's also harmful. And there's a very blurred line between those two things”.

So they suggest we stop and think, “how could this be read by someone else, might someone find that harmful?”

A group of teenagers and grown ups sit on a low wall in Central London on their phones

Remember, it’s not all down to you

Drs. Regehr and Smales did end on an optimistic note. They believe that we’re in this together and the very fact that you’ve read this article, is the start of something. “It’s an awareness building moment, the fact that we have had this conversation now is positive,” says Dr Regehr, “and I take great hope in that. We are on the precipice of change”.

Dr Kaitlyn Regehris an Associate Professor and the Programme Director of Digital Humanities at University College London. Her research is focused on the cultural impacts of social media, particularly on children and youth. Her book, “Smartphone Nation: Why We Are All Addicted to Screens and What You Can Do About It" is out now.
Dr Katharine Smalesis a Research Fellow at University College London, focusing on young people's information literacy and their experiences of digital settings.

This article was published in October 2025