Dr Radha: How to cope with disappointment

We caught up with Dr Radha Modgil – a practising NHS GP, broadcaster and campaigner for wellbeing – to get her top tips for how to cope when things don't go the way we'd hoped. Here's her advice…

How to come with disappointment

"We would all like life to go the way we want it to – for things to turn out exactly as we wish and in exactly the right timeframe. This is why we will all experience disappointment in life – that feeling of sadness when what we hope for does not materialise into our reality. We can’t control what happens in life, but, we can, however control how we respond and react to what happens to us."

"Disappointment is part of life and even if we try to change our expectations or not be too attached to a particular outcome, none of us are immune to feeling it. When you really think about it, we feel disappointment when we experience a loss – the loss of something we hoped or imagined might happen. We may feel sad, like we are ‘not good enough’, a sense of unfairness and sometimes a bit lost about how to find our direction again and manage the reality of what has happened. My tips will hopefully help you manage these emotions and may even help you reframe disappointment as a positive and not a negative."

Dr Radha's top tips for coping with disappointment

1. Take time to process

"Give yourself time to feel how you're feeling and be gentle with yourself. We can often feel the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way."

2. Let go of control

"Disappointment is part of life - we can't have everything always going our way and fitting into our expectations. Once we accept that, we can see situations in a different way."

3. See the opportunities

"With every disappointment comes opportunity. Nothing is ever a 'failure' if it doesn't work out the way we want it to. It is actually an opportunity for things to move and develop in a new and potentially exciting way."

4. Try not to take it personally

"Realise that a lot of disappointment is nothing to do with you as a person. We can often take it personally when things don't work out as we want and it can affect our self esteem, when the situation is actually more likely to be related to things beyond our control."

5. Work with it

"Maybe this disappointment can open up something even better for you. Maybe you'll think back later and be glad things turned out how they did. What are some things you can feel enthusiastic, determined or excited about right now?"

For more awesome advice and top tips for before, during and after results day, check out our results day section of our Exams and Revision page.

If you need support

You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.

If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

There are more links to helpful organisations on the BBC Bitesize Action Line page for young people.