Starting secondary school brings lots of opportunities to make new friends. However, it can be stressful starting conversations with new people all the time and trying to make friends as quickly as possible.
The animations below are set in the fictional Phoenix Academy for superhumans, where four super-powered students look at how to develop friendships, from that very first conversation to making up when friendships wobble.
How to start a conversation
Yona, Sanj, Millie and Fin talk about how they approached talking to new people when they first started secondary school. From the importance of making the first move to talking about things you have in common and paying their fellow classmates a compliment.
MILLIE: Sometimes, I just don’t know what to write to people.
SANJ: Just sometimes? Helpful, Sanj.
FIN: I just pretend every chat is a regular conversation. Can you imagine?
YONA: That would literally be my worst nightmare! Why? Do you seriously not remember what I was like at the beginning of the year?
FIN: I always thought you were pretty cool from day one.
YONA: Are you joking? I don’t think I said a word to anyone on day one.
SANJ: Really? So, what changed?
YONA: I don’t know. I guess I just thought that even best mates must have started somewhere. Then I decided, I just had to go for it.
MILLIE: What d’you do?
YONA: I just forced myself to say, "Hello," to people, and I let that be enough. Whatever happened after, just "Hello."
SANJ: Great chat!
YONA: Maybe not, but it worked. Sometimes they would say, "Hi," back and that’s all, and that was fine. But sometimes we would carry on talking.
FIN: Yeah, Sanj, it worked.
SANJ: Okay, okay. Sorry.
YONA: And when I started listening, it started going even better. Turned out I had at least one thing in common with pretty much everyone.
MILLIE: Good point.
FIN: Plus, you were probably doing them a favour.
YONA: What do you mean?
FIN: With new people, starting the conversation is the hardest part and you were doing that for them.
YONA: Oh yeah, I guess I was. Actually, I remember our first conversation. You gave me a compliment.
FIN: Oh yeah, I was actually doing that a lot.
YONA: Well, it was still nice and made it easier to talk to you, even though we didn’t know each other.
SANJ: Wait a second, you just said "Hi" to me. How come I didn’t get a compliment?
YONA: Because you ran off as soon as I said, "Hi."
SANJ: Oh yeah.
[LAUGHING]
YONA [VOICEOVER] Make your goal just to say hello. Ask questions. Start with something easy, like classes you share, movies, music or sports. Compliments are great too — even simple ones like, "I like your bag."
Tips:
- Make your goal just to say “hello”
- Ask questions
- Start with something easy – like classes you share, movies, music, or sports
- Compliments are great too, even simples ones like “I like your bag”
Quick Friends / Slow Friends
The group look back to their first week of secondary school and how their old friends from primary school didn’t make the transition with them. Sanj talks about how it felt daunting at first, which made him rush to try and make new friends, rather than take his time.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
FIN: And three, two, one.
SANJ: Hey guys!
[LAUGHING]
FIN: Hey, Sanj. What are you laughing about?
MILLIE: Oh, nothing. We were just talking about our first week of Year Seven.
SANJ: Oh, that wasn’t funny. That was tragic. None of my mates from primary school came to Phoenix.
YONA: Same. I didn’t know anyone. Bad times.
FIN: It was like that for all of us, I think.
MILLIE: That’s true. A lot of us didn’t know anyone in the beginning.
SANJ: That was me, sure. You remember the first day, Sanj?
FIN: I remember, I was in such a rush to make friends that I went straight for a group of other speedsters, but they were more interested in their phones than talking to me.
SANJ: That’s when we met.
FIN: Really?
SANJ: Yeah, I said, “Hello,” right before you went over there.
FIN: Oh man, I totally forgot. Sorry about that one.
SANJ: That’s alright, you tend to rush into things.
FIN: Guilty. Plus, I got to watch you make a fool of yourself.
SANJ: Alright.
FIN: It’s true though. That’ll teach me to try and choose mates just on appearances.
SANJ: Yeah, we don’t have the same powers but we like so many of the same things.
FIN: For sure. I’m glad we were sat next to each other in science class.
SANJ: Yeah, you couldn’t run off, could you?
FIN: No, but give me some credit. I was the one that said, “Hi,” that time.
SANJ: True. And sometimes friendships just take a bit of time.
FIN: Yeah, you’re right. You can’t really make friends at super speed.
SANJ: In fact, it wasn’t until a while later that I met Millie.
FIN: And I met Yona. And then, since you and I were already mates, we all met each other and we realised we all got on.
MILLIE: I wouldn’t go that far.
SANJ: You know you love us, Millie.
MILLIE: Whatever.
FIN: We should go anyway, it’s time for class.
SANJ: I’ll race you!
[VOICEOVER]: Be patient and persistent. Stay open to new friendships. Share your interests and hobbies. It’s okay to spend time with new people. It doesn’t mean you like your friends any less.
Tips:
- Be patient and persistent
- Stay open to new friendships
- Share your interests and hobbies
- It’s okay to spend time with new people – it doesn’t mean you like your friends any less!
When Friendships Wobble
Fin and Sanj recall the time they planned a school show together, which caused them to fall out. Looking back, they remember not taking the time to calm down and arguing via text but how confiding in Yona and Millie helped them become friends again.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
FIN: Remember, our show is this Friday night!
SANJ: It starts…
SANJ and YONA: …at sundown!
MILLIE: How could we forget?
FIN: Sorry, we’re kind of excited.
YONA: Kind of? It’s gonna be epic! Like the fight you guys had last time you put on a show?
SANJ: Oh yeah, I’d almost forgot.
FIN: Be good if we had.
MILLIE: It was the posters that set us off, wasn’t it?
YONA: Oh yeah. I can’t believe how angry we got over such a small thing.
SANJ: Things may have got a little out of hand.
FIN: Yeah. Trying to talk while we were still angry was… certainly interesting.
YONA: Very.
MILLIE: We definitely needed to get a bit of space.
SANJ: Good move.
FIN: It was also good to talk with you guys.
YONA: Well, obvs!
SANJ: Alright, we’re admitting it.
FIN: Right, go on then.
SANJ: Yona got me thinking about where Sanj was coming from, which helped me calm down a bit.
YONA: Don’t mention it.
FIN: And Millie, you pointed out that everyone fights sometimes. Somehow, that made it seem like less of a big deal.
MILLIE: I was just glad to see it get sorted.
SANJ: Me too. We were able to get on with planning the show again.
FIN: And it was epic!
SANJ and YONA: But this one is going to be… extra epic!
FIN: How do you know that?
SANJ: Well, it says so on the posters.
FIN: Oh right. Great posters.
SANJ: So you’re coming, right?
YONA and MILLIE: Hmm…
[VOICEOVER]: Practice calming down. Try noticing five things near you right this second. Talk with your friends for advice (not just to blame the other person). Try to understand their point of view. Give them time if they need it. Apologise and talk it out together.
Tips:
- Practice calming down – try noticing five things near you right this second
- Talk with your friends for advice (not just to blame the other person)
- Try to understand their point of view
- Give them time if they need it
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Starting Secondary School homepage
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