Goalpost-kissing and inside-out pants – football's most ridiculous rituals
- Published
"What was the secret behind Jamie Vardy’s incredible rise to success?"
It's the question on the lips of tacticians, nutritionists and football fanatics worldwide.
Fear not, as for those who are trying to recreate the Vardy formula you’ll need nothing more than a bottle of port and a bottle of Lucozade... kind of.
The Leicester striker has recently stated in his new autobiography that he would top-up a half-full bottle of Lucozade with port and sip it on the eve of every match, as well as drinking three Red Bulls and a double espresso ahead of kick-off.
So in honour of the FWA Player of the Year's curious high-caffeine superstition, we figured we’d explore some of the other barmy beliefs that footballers believe can bring them good fortune.
John Terry
Apart from listening to the same Usher CD, parking in the same spot, sitting in the same seat on the bus and wearing the same shin pads for 10 years, John Terry also likes to use the same urinal on the far right side at Stamford Bridge before every match.
“Me and Frank (Lampard) started it a long time ago; in the Chelsea dressing room we have three urinals and me and Lamps started weeing in one - we won the game and the next week there was a queue of me, Frank and Ash (Cole),” said Terry.
The trio became so accustomed to using the same urinal that when a club secretary reported that the FA were complaining because the players were always going out late, Terry responded, saying, “I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was because we were all waiting to go for a wee.”
David James
Carrying on the theme of urinal-related superstitions, David James' pre-match ritual had a distinctively lavatorial theme.
The former Liverpool, Man City and England goalkeeper would wander into the club bathrooms, ensure nobody else was around, then spit on the wall.
The 46 year-old would later declare bankruptcy in 2014, proving that wall-spitting is not a tried-and-tested method for bringing good luck after all.
Sergio Goycochea
When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go… A phrase that Argentinian goalkeeper Sergio Goycochea took far too literally. That's right - you guessed it: this one involves toilets again.
Though sadly not literally. In what has to be the most unsanitary on rituals, Goycochea would urinate on the pitch ahead of penalty shootouts by subtly crouching to the ground and emptying his bladder.
“I did it against Yugoslavia (in the 1990 World Cup quarter-finals) - we won, so then when the semi-final against Italy went to penalties I did it again - and it worked! From that moment on I did it before every shoot-out. It was my lucky charm.”
Fabien Barthez/entire France squad
Okay… no more urine-related ones, we promise.
Spartak Moscow goalkeeper and Russian international Artyom Rebrov famously kisses both goalposts before a game and is even known to talk to them during matches.
Keeping on the topic of kissing, the France squad would also steal a kiss during the 1998 World Cup – this time on the bald head of goalkeeper Fabien Barthez.
The squad were also made to listen to Gloria Gaynor's 1970's hit 'I Will Survive' in the changing-rooms. They must have done something right considering they went on to win the World Cup.
Adrian Mutu
Romanian striker Adrian Mutu was known to put basil leaves in his socks, but a more worthy addition to this list would be his encounter with a group of witches.
The witches warned Mutu that his career was on a downward path and that he’d been cursed by an ex-girlfriend. “No problem,” he reportedly replied, “curses can't touch me because I wear my underwear inside out."
However, we wouldn’t recommend inside-out pants as a plausible defence if you’re approached by witches as Mutu's nine-month ban, external from football in 2004 proved that those witches may have been on to something.
Kolo Toure
Apart from possibly having (OK, sharing) the catchiest chant in football, external, Kolo Toure has a reputation for his superstitious behaviour, with the most notable being his unwavering persistence to be the last player onto the pitch.
This raised issues during a 2009 Champions League match when teammate William Gallas was receiving half-time treatment for an injury while Toure was adamant he wouldn't re-enter the game until Gallas returned.
The match resumed without both players and the Ivorian was later booked for re-entering the field without the referee’s permission.
Midlands Portland Cement
Apparently, when the management team at Zimbabwean club Midland Portland Cement decided to bathe in the Zambezi river, they’d hoped to “cleanse the team of bad spirits”.
What the management team didn’t anticipate was that the river was inhabited by hippos and crocodiles.
Sixteen players entered the waters but only 15 returned – the missing player was said to have had drowned or been eaten by crocodiles.
