Sexual Harassment at work: Four women reveal all

The revelation this week that more than half of women have been sexually harassed at work was horrifying. Horrifying – but after conversations the research sparked around the office and pub - uncomfortably believable. Friends suddenly spilled stories they’d sat on for years, colleagues recounted dark memories in low undertones and suddenly the statistics painted an all too real a picture.

The research stated that four in five women didn’t report anything, which was entirely consistent with these personal accounts. "I was too scared to damage my reputation and thought it would impact my career," or "I assumed I’d be dismissed for not being able to deal with a bit of banter," were all recurring sentiments.

While it's just a tiny sample of the kind of experiences women all over the country face, here is a selection of their stories:

Jennifer, TV Runner, 23

“I was out at some work drinks when my inebriated (female) boss grabbed my boobs for a ‘joke’. She’s straight – so I assumed it wasn’t sexually motivated, but I still felt totally violated. She was mortified and apologised the next day, which would have been fine had she not done the exact same thing again at the pub a few weeks later. I never said anything… had my boss been a man possibly it would have been more black and white… but it felt like I was meant to take it as a joke, regardless of how it made me feel in reality.”

Lauren, Writer, 24

“When working in finance, I had some pretty eye-opening experiences. I spent a year batting off inappropriate comments from several members of top-tier management - one senior partner in particular. I even gave up wearing a trench coat to work after his numerous pervy: 'Ooh are you naked under there,' comments.

"The same guy once told me, in front of a room full of clients, that females shouldn’t be allowed to work in finance; at best they got pregnant and left, and at worst they were a distraction to everyone in the office – at which he pointed at me saying, 'like this one'."

Sarah, Head Fund Manager, 28

“Age 22, I was at one of my first industry events and given a fair amount of booze. Afterwards one of the bankers told me everyone was going for drinks after the show, but turned out was just me and him and we were both miles from home. He said he'd expense a cab the whole way back to west London so, feeling uncomfortable, I asked if we could leave. In the taxi, he was all over me. I asked him to stop and initially he did, but after falling asleep (the journey took about an hour) I woke up to him kissing my neck and his hand on my leg. I told him to stop but he started to unbutton my shirt. I ask the cab to stop, jumped out and walked the rest of the way home.

"When I came in to work the next day, I was given banter about him telling people we hooked up. I couldn't even defend myself and say ‘I'm not that kind of girl’, because I was too scared to say what actually happened. So everyone probably thought I was the 22-year-old hussy. The guy must have known I wouldn’t tell the truth... it was so humiliating."

Victoria, accountant, 28

“I had someone very senior pursuing me over a long time. He had a direct influence on my job, so I had to try not to give him the wrong impression whilst simultaneously being worried about offending him for fear he would make my life hell. At social events he would just be very creepy... nothing aggressive, just doing weird things like tucking my hair behind my ears and stroking my face/holding my hand or constantly offering to pay for stuff (like medical bills) and buying me things, which I constantly declined.

"Numerous times he asked me if I understood 'why men his age like girls my age', and why girls my age should go for it. It was always a delicate balance with him, as I knew he had a lot of power over my job. There was one instance he tried to reduce my bonus to almost nothing because I 'hadn't performed well', despite having no way of knowing that. The boss I directly reported to blocked this, telling me she knew ‘exactly why’ he would say that. It was five years of being made uncomfortable and trying my best to keep the relationship friendly and professional. Even since I've left the company he hasn't completely dropped it and actually texted me saying 'call me when you're back, I’ve waited long enough'. His daughter is not much younger than me...”

The damning research and associated testimony (#HarassedAtWork is now trending as many others shared their stories), clearly underlines an endemic culture of unacceptable, unreported behaviour in the workplace. Vanessa of Girlstalklondon, external believes that it’s down to businesses to take responsibility and create an infrastructure and environment where women can feel safe and supported enough to report anything.

The Government echoes that sentiment, with a spokesperson stating, “No one should experience harassment or abuse of any kind in the workplace – the law on this is very clear and employers must take swift action to tackle this issue.”

Because it’s not just a bit of banter and it has to stop.

All names above have been changed.