This weekend Brighton had a massive Queer Prom

It was organised for those who never got to go as themselves

Prom is meant to be a right of passage.

Yes, it might be awkward dancing in front of your teachers, and the single glass of Buck’s Fizz might not be enough to take the edge off things.

Ultimately, though, it’s meant to be a celebration of students reaching the end of their education. Dresses are primed, tuxes are pressed and everyone agonises over who will be their date.

But what if you’re expected to wear a dress and you want to wear a suit? Or what if you want to go with a date of the same sex? For members of the LGBTQ+ community, it can be very difficult to find acceptance at the school prom.

Which is why a Brighton couple have put on the UK's first major Queer Prom.

Last Friday, part of the Komedia comedy club was transformed into a full-on prom hall. Balloons were inflated, lights were dimmed, and the colour scheme was made white, pink and blue. 

Attendees were encouraged to put on “what they would have wanted to wear to their prom,” and were treated to entertainment from performers including drag queen Alpha Bites, queer drag artist Olive Hooters and comedian Ali Hannon, who hosted the night.

Meanwhile a photography booth ensured that the 150 revellers at the sold out venue could get the classic prom shot, with a yearbook being compiled from all the images.

“It was amazing, it was possibly the best event I’ve ever organised,” Vicki Cook, 27, told BBC Three. “People really went all out. You could tell that people were wearing exactly what they wanted to at their original prom back in school but weren’t able to. Everyone was dressed to the nines.”

Vicki originally put on a much smaller version of the event back in 2014 based on the prom experiences of herself and her friends.

“No one had a positive story. They didn’t go or they felt really uncomfortable when they were there. They had to be somebody they weren’t, they couldn’t go with their partner, they weren’t out yet or they would be made to feel uncomfortable if they did go with them. [Some also] didn’t identify with the gender that they were at the time.”

Vicki explains that for members of the LGBTQ+ community, prom can still be an alienating experience: “Diversity isn’t celebrated in schools or at events at proms. People feel that they have to stick to a very rigid formula.

“Everyone is expected to be heterosexual and to dress in alignment with their gender assigned at birth. It can be very difficult and very isolating when trying to break the mould there. It can be very scary to go against the norm.”

In response to this, Vicki teamed up with her partner, 30-year-old PSHE worker Jules Haydon Guaitamacchi, and the couple decided to re-do prom to give people “a second chance". 

The response, says Vicki, has been huge. “We had floods of messages coming in the next day and people approaching us on the night just to say how amazing it was and it was exactly how they’d hoped it had been a few years ago when they wanted to attend the prom.” 

David Kim, who never got to take his boyfriend to prom when he was at high school in Southern California in the early 2000s, said, “A lot of LGBT people miss out on these coming of age rituals and rites of passage, because they aren't able to express their true gender identity safely or are prevented from going with their same-sex partner.

"As a young queer person, it sucks to feel like you're missing out on something that's supposed to be amazing, magical, and an integral part of being a teenager. At Queer Prom, Ryan and I got to relive our prom nights with each other. We dressed up in our fabulous suits, got each other boutonnieres, and slow danced with each other to cheesy songs. Everything that I, as a shy awkward 17-year-old gay teen, so desperately wished for back in 2005. I had a fantastic time and thank the lovely organisers for putting on that event."

The event raised money for charities dealing with mental health and youth empowerment in the queer community. The cash is yet to be counted but Vicki said they had taken “a decent amount” in the buckets. 

Vicki and Jules now plan to make Queer Prom a bi-annual event to give more people the chance to have a prom of their own. “[These are] things that we missed out on but that we absolutely have a right to experience and have memories of,” Vicki added.

“It might just be memories from a different point in their lives rather than school age, but everyone deserves to have the chance to make those sorts of memories.” 

First published 16 January 2018