 Will the real Gordon Brown please stand up |
We have a winner. More than 10,000 of you voted in our contest to find the best summary of Gordon Brown's Budget in 50 words or less. And the clear winner with 30% of the votes is Budget One, by Derek Haughton, of Corby, Northants. A bottle of champagne will be on its way to Mr Haughton shortly. Budget Nine, by James Douglas, of London, was second, on 26% of the vote, followed by Budget Five on 7.5% and Budget Two on 7%. Thanks to everyone who took part. Here are the 10 shortlisted entries. BUDGET ONE If you are an immortal 80-year-old female millionaire science teacher, who needs childcare, drives a very small car, likes a cider chaser with a whiskey, buys her fags in the EU and wants to invest in venture capitalists and trusts, you're laughing all the way to the bank.
Derek Haughton, Corby UKBUDGET TWO My name is Gordymandias, King of Kings: Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing in truth remains. Behind the trump Of prudence and success, swelling undeclared, The PFI and pension debts stretch far away.
Rob Findlay, Shrewsbury, UKBUDGET THREE There were jeers. There was heckling. There were smiles. There were frowns. He mentioned flip flops.
Thea Georgiades, Leigh, Lancs, UKBUDGET FOUR I'm the bestest Chancellor ever. I have met all the undemanding rules I set myself and haven't fiddled the figures, honest. If you've got kids you'll be better off but not if you take them to school in a Range Rover. I commend myself to 10 Downing Street.
Dave Farrell, SheffieldBUDGET FIVE Small cars good. Big cars bad. A penny on beer - good news for dad. Pupil investment up 3 grand. Stamp duty N/A on more land. Borrowing down - golden rule boast. Buses to take pensioners coast to coast. 2012 athletes given a hand. By then I may rule the land...
Andrew Cole, Twickenham, England.BUDGET SIX Mr Brown, why so down, you're looking out of sorts, "Tony says I've got to spend my cash on blimin sports" Mr Brown, why so sad? A face of desperation, "Tony says I've got to spend my cash on edukasion" But Gordy mate, won't be long before he's on vacation!
Chris Needham, Preston, LancsBUDGET SEVEN Hard Budgeting, Gas Guzzling, Champagne Swigging, Ciggy Puffing, Pill Popping, Inheritance Benefiting, Baby Gifting, School Bigging, Tote Selling, Tax Crediting, Health Dodging, Sister Training, Prudence Loving, Golden Ruling, No Flip-Flopping, Tory Smacking, PM In-Waiting, Gordo
Linda Kelly, GrimsbyBUDGET EIGHT I've been chancellor for so long, I easily forget all that's gone wrong, All I see is the economy booming, And an office in no.10 that is surely looming, A stealth tax here, a soundbite there Can any budget really be fair?
Max, London, UKBUDGET NINE Compared with (badStatistic) in (choose Japan, USA, France) I am proud to announce (bigNumber) billion this year (biggerNumber) next year (stringBignumbers) billion by 2011 for hard-working (choose children, families, Olympians). Loop (nextStatistic)
James Douglas, LondonBUDGET TEN Fewer fags, less wine, no big wheels, half a house is better than none, more free education, education, education, more money for victims and athletes, more free travel for the elderly, fewer draughty homes, a dash of green and a sprinkling of credits - but, bottoms up, spirits untouched.
P Birrane-Scothern, London
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