By Marie-Louise Connolly BBC Radio Ulster

In Northern Ireland, every 23 minutes, a distress call is made to the police for help in relation to violence in the home.

In most cases the call is made by a woman, or a relative of a woman who is being physically abused by her partner.

Domestic violence is spreading rapidly in our society.

Black, white, young and old, male and female, domestic violence knows no physical or ethnic boundaries.

More victims of domestic violence are seeking help

But, while the number of incidents being reported is on the increase, according to the police that number does not reflect the true extent of the crime that's taking place behind closed doors.

A new documentary on BBC Radio Ulster, "To Have and to Hit", explores the terrible truth behind some closed doors.

In the documentary, women tell their real life experiences of living with men who mentally and physically abused them.

We also hear the often forgotten victims - the children who suffer regularly too.

The BBC has learned the government is considering introducing legislation which would see the implementation of a register for perpetrators of domestic violence.

It would operate in the same way as a sex offenders register, where names would be made public.

One of the women was crying uncontrollably - she was carrying a small bag of teddy bears, a box of clothes and a photograph album

This has received a mixed reaction. Some victims I spoke to were against the idea because they believed they too would be included in the "name and shame game".

In Northern Ireland last year, almost 1,100 women of all ages stayed in Women's Aid refuges, alongside them over 1,000 children.

Often fleeing their homes in the middle of the night, they arrive in one of Northern Irelands 13 refuges wearing only their pyjamas and carrying a small suitcase with hastily grabbed belongings.

While investigating the issue of domestic violence, I spent an afternoon in a hostel in south Belfast.

Within a few hours - two women arrived, literally deposited on the doorstep by a taxi driver.

One of the women was crying uncontrollably. She was carrying a small bag of teddy bears, a box of clothes and a photograph album.

Domestic violence knows no physical or ethnic boundaries

A support worker called Terry, showed her to a small sitting room, put her arms around her and cradled her head as she cried.

Her eyes were blackened with smudged make-up and in her hand she held a crumpled white tissue.

The woman, who was in her 20s, left home after her husband had left for work.

She told Terry he had had been "punching" her for years.

The refuge will provide her with temporary accommodation until the Housing Executive re-houses her. That process could take months.

As a key preventive measure for the future, the government set out education as a tool to tackle the problem.

The BBC has also learned that the government has yet to introduce domestic violence into the curriculum in Northern Ireland.

The women who told their stories are no longer victims but survivors

That is despite pupils in school in England being taught the importance of respecting women and what they should do if they are experiencing violence at home.

In 2005, the government acknowledged the extent of the problem by publishing a strategy entitled Tackling Violence at Home.

It sent out a clear message - domestic violence is a crime and is not acceptable in any circumstances.

Children clearly need help too. In the documentary, a woman called Carol describes how her eight children regularly saw her being punched by her husband - in time they too were struck by their dad.

Alongside Women's Aid , the NSPCC has begun pilot projects where mothers and children can attempt to re-build their relationships.

According to Woman's Aid, the programme needs to target boys in particular. Noelle Collins, Women's Aid team leader, said: "While we are going into schools - we can't do it on our own.

Myths

"We need the backing of government and we need the co-operation of education boards to introduce it into the curriculum. "

The documentary dispels many of the myths behind domestic violence.

It can happen to anyone and unless children are made aware of the issue as young as primary school age - the problem shows no sign of abating.

The women who told us their stories are no longer victims but survivors.

For many, their journey's not yet over. But what has emerged through the programme - is that trip could be made a lot sooner if domestic violence programmes were made compulsory in schools and the issue was recognised more as a crime offence.

HELPLINE NUMBER: 0800 917 1414

"To Have and to Hit" will be broadcast on BBC Radio Ulster at 1130 GMT on Saturday, 17 February and repeated on Sunday, 18 February at 1630 GMT.